Out Spotlight 30

Before NPH, and TR, there was B.D. B.D. Wong, and Father's Day is the perfect day to spotlight this out actor, father, and writer.

B.D. was born Bradley Daryl Wong was born in 1962 in San Francisco CA, with a early love of music. He was encourage by his family, to follow his love, leading to discover acting as child. Raised in no single formal religion he was he developed an avid interest in Bible stories through musicals such as Godspell, Jesus Christ, Superstar, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. His high school drama teacher encouraged him to become a part of Bay Area community theater scene. After graduating from SF State University he pursued his dream of acting in Manhattan. With small parts in dinner theater and off Broadway, and screen debut with a small part in Karate Kid II.

Shortening his name to B.D., he made his breakthrough in the gender elusive M. Butterfly. He made on of the greatest Broadway debuts in history, with the Tony, Drama Desk, Outer Critics Circle, Clarence Derwent and Theatre World awards for his portrayal of Song Liling. He is the only actor to win to all of these awards for the same show.

His stage success led to leads in Jurassic Park, and playing the gay Kico Govantes in Randy Shilt's landmark AIDS novel in HBO's adaptation of And the Band Played On. He may also be remembered many for his role in the Father of the Bride and sequel playing the flamboyant wedding planner assistant Howard Weinstein. While played characters on television and screen, he remained publicly closeted, privately he was out and supported.

He remained publicly closeted until 2003, making this comment in a interview to Zap2It several years later about why he hadn't come out sooner. "I'm a pretty private person, not just a big discloser in general, but also there was an issue of my career. Acting was really my entire world, but I entered a field that was particularly non-welcoming to me as an Asian-American. The opportunities already were somewhat limited to me, so it felt almost like a kind of career suicide to be completely out as a gay man. I bought into that for a long time".

What changed all that? Fatherhood.

Before his success on Broadway, B.D. had been in a long term relationship with his agent Richie Jackson. B.D. and Richie wanted to have children, so they embarked on a journey that would have them experiencing the highs and lows of expecting and parenthood. By 2000, they were in "infanticipating" and using a surrogate they became pregnant with twins produced by B.D's sperm and Richie's sisters Sue's egg.

A normal pregnancy is 40 weeks but B.D. and Richie were thrusted into parenthood when their surrogate, Shauna Berringer went into labor at 28 weeks. Their sons Boaz Dov and then Jackson Foo were born. Boaz Dov was sadly passed away ninety minutes after being born and B.D and Richie were in a fight to save their son Jackson's life, not only due to his prematurity but due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome, that has played a role in taking Boaz Dov. It is when the blood supply is only received from the placenta to one twin and the the other receives it through his twin rather than the placenta.

Jackson Foo was dubbed "the chestnut man" because they thought they he had the weary world wise face of the men who sold chestnuts in NY. While Jackson Foo was in the hospital for the next three month, B.D. began sending emails full and emotion, candor and sometime humor to his family and friends. Encourage by those same family and friends he gather these together into a book that talke about Jackson Foo, their loss of Boaz Dov and JF's two daddies . This book, Following Foo: The Electronic Adventures of The Chestnut Man, was not just about JF's journey but BD's as well. The book published in 2003 was a part of BD coming out. "I wanted a reason to help me come out. And this book became a reason and that allows me to do it 1,000 percent. I'm perfectly happy going on TV now and saying, “I'm a gay man. I'm happy and proud to say that.”

About the price of coming-out publicly, B.D. shared this concern with the Advocate in 2003: “Some days, I think, ‘You're never going to work again.' I think there's a real reason to worry, as anyone reading this magazine can understand. The book, for me, means I'm calling into question the whole career thing. But that's OK.”

Wong needn't have worried. Professionally, he's thrived. He had was on the acclaimed HBO series OZ, as Father Ray Mukada for six seasons and Dr. George Huang, on Law and Order: SVU. Unfortunately coming out was there was a personal sacrifice of the break up of this long term relationship with Richie Jackson. B.D. single parents his son JF, and Richie continues his relationship as an uncle.

B.D. has been vocal about his motivation for becoming a parent, in 2003, telling Gay City News, “It's too much of a pain in the ass to have a kid just because you think it's great as a gay person to do that. I had a real strong impulse to be a father, to share a relationship with a person….a parental blood relationship.”

Among the many things learned upon becoming a father, B.D. shared these insights in 2003, with his hometown paper, the San Francisco Chronicle: “Prior to the day the sky opened up,” the birth of the twins, “I wasn't totally me for some reason and now I'm getting an idea of who I am.”
A devoted and loving father what is better to celebrate every day not just Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day B.D. and Jackson Foo.


B.D Wong and John Lithgow in M.Butterfly for the Tony Awards

And props to Gov. Deval Patrick of Massachusetts who marched with his daughter Kathrine in Boston's Pride Parade yesterday. Kathrine came out publicly this week with the love and support of her parents.