It's hard to look like a bad ass --oops! boy when you can't say shit --I mean sugar.
But you can help. Give you best non swear swears so Jakey can have something to say. Get Creative. Channel you inner Mrs. Livingston who would never swear in front of her Bubble Boy. Those Italian phrases he'll pick up from those sumbitch Texans will get found out and the only thing Jake will have left to say is "Jinkies".
Now a Southern Lady never swears, they swan, or swanee - but Angry Inch? What ever would a Southern lady mean when she says that? ; )
Here's one I guess Jake could use-
ReplyDeleteThou lumpish tickle-brained maggot-pie!
Shakespearean insults
I cannot believe Spesh figured out how to use this song in a post!!! I uploaded it as a test of her Blogger prowess. She is up for the challenge once again!
[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.
ReplyDeleteSit on it!
ReplyDeleteWe know what Ron Howard really meant when he would say it to Potsie. LOL
Those Italian phrases he'll pick up from those sumbitch Texans . . .
ReplyDeleteFunny post today. ;)
Jack to Ennis : Tu figlio di puttana sumbitch!
ReplyDeleteThe rodeo stranzata! ;)
Dagnabit.
ReplyDeleteDoggone it.
Shucks.
Hornswallowed
Look where Austin was yesterday: at the ESPY's in LA
ReplyDeleteSorry can't make the link. Just click on my name if you want to see him ;)
That insult website is hilarious Wicked.
ReplyDeleteSorry but I dont see a music bar today. No music coming in...is it just me : (
He's not in Europe yet. Austin at the ESPY's event in LA yesterday. Seems be with some actress:http://www.gettyimages.com/Search/Search.aspx?contractUrl=1&language=en-US&family=editorial&ep=3&p=Austin%20Nichols&src=standard
ReplyDeleteAdrianne Palicki is on Friday Night Lights.
ReplyDeletelink
At once time I knew some insults in Chinese, but I've forgotten them; I'll have to look in my Chinese slang book when I get home.
ReplyDeleteThe ESPY Awards are taping today.(tonight) Justin Timberlake is hosting. They awards will air on ESPN Sunday, July 20th.
ReplyDeleteWonder if Austin will go today's taping as well.
As I recall Jake went to the ESPY with a couple of amigos a few summers ago. : )
Great Horny Toads.
ReplyDeleteDirty Rotten Rack-a-frack!
Beezy Wobble Pegaloomer
criminetly
Let's see how about
ReplyDeleteMonkey Funker
Man Alive (family fav)
Holy Cow (love ya Phil Rizzuto)
Belgium (The most offensive word in the word - According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) -- Sorry Spooky.
fiddlesticks
balderdash
horsefeathers
fudge
I'm struck by the overwhelming lack of underwhelmed-ness you're all showing with these new Austin photos. Why's that do you wonder?
ReplyDeleteBecause this has become a Reeke blog--that's why. Austin who?
ReplyDeleteOh babbler you are so transparent.
ReplyDeletePerhaps because you've been pimping them all over the Toothy sites, PR-at-1:27? Your homophobic bearding processes grow tiring and they're very, very predictable.
ReplyDeleteWhat's more, if the girl in question is gay in real life and also bearding - well, I expect we can see "love! real! romance!" soon for Mr. Nichols as well.
but, but Spesh LOVES Austin. She's always going on about how sexy and fit he is. The silence about these pics speaks volumes.
ReplyDeleteWorking on non swear words and looking at Austin, doesn't go together.
ReplyDeleteCause you first say DAMN! that boy looks fine, then you think SHIT the boy is hotter than HELL. Then the big F word drops when you think of the him and Jake together.
Oopsagirl, the woman with Austin is someone he worked with on FNL. I think Austy looks a bit rough, myself.
ReplyDeleteDo you all think it's a coincidence that Broadwing was on the blog when both Oopsagirl comments were made? Just wondering.
Hey Jake's looking a little rough and tumbled too, and its not a bad look on either of them in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteLoving the vintage watch. Got to work those accessories. : )
"Working on non swear words and looking at Austin, doesn't go together."
ReplyDeleteLOL!
Jack FREDERICK Twist!
ReplyDeleteJeezo-Pete
ReplyDeleteCheese and Crackers
Thou gorbellied full-gorged lewdster!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, who could this apply to?
How could we ever forget that one? Jack FREDERICK Twist. :)
ReplyDeleteDraw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.
ReplyDeleteThis Shakespeare site is great! ;)
I just have to say that Adrianne Palicki really makes my gaydar go off. I guess she's in the Penelope Cruz beard mode, then.
ReplyDeleteFrom Jezebel:
ReplyDelete"Reese & Jake's Family Vacation." The story opens with a super cute picture of Jake, Reese and Ava holding hands, awww (Fig. 2). The group went to London and Paris and it was a "trial run" for Jake to see if he could handle the kids. It's a 6-page story with tons of pictures but it was pretty run-of-the-mill: They went into through The Chunnel, watched fireworks, swam in the pool, ate pizza."
Think living together he would've notice them around.
The grade for this magazine-
ReplyDeleteGrade: D+ (wet, damaged, wilted lettuce)
Great Hawk!
ReplyDeleteYee Gods!
Shipoopi!
BALZAC!
Monty Python-
ReplyDeleteI fart in your general direction!
Friday Night Lights, the movie-
Great Grandma's drawers!
Mr. Hill
ReplyDeleteWatch your phraseology!
That is one of my favorite Monty Python lines!
ReplyDelete'Ni'
ReplyDelete'Peng'
'Neee-wom'
Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv'
Where's the Beef?
ReplyDeleteTossed Salad
Lickity Split
TDK News:
ReplyDeleteMovieTickets.com says that, four days prior to its release, Warner Bros' Batman: The Dark Knight has sold out 700 performances in North America and is outselling 3 of MovieTickets.com’s Top 10 Performing Films of All-Time. To date, the pic has more than 3-times as many advance tickets as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, more than 2-times as many as Spider-Man 3 and almost 2-times as many as Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers at the same point in the sales cycle. This lends fuel to predictions that the latest Batman 152-minute installment can make $130+ million for the upcoming 3-day weekend opening because of round-the-clock showings.
....Meanwhile Fandango (which sells tickets to more than 15,000 theater screens) reports that Warner Bros' The Dark Knight has grabbed a whopping 90% of all ticket sales for the upcoming weekend show. That's incredible considering it was still only Tuesday.
Nikki Finke
Glad to hear it. :)
ReplyDeleteAustin looks *fantastic* - I love the hair. He has lots of pretty girlfriends :) Wonder when he'll leave for Rome?
ReplyDeleteI've just worked out what the angry inch is. Only taken me about two years.
I thought Austin looked good in those pics. He seemed very relaxed. Maybe it was because he was with someone he knew. You can tell by his face that hes getting older though.
ReplyDeleteI think its pretty pathetic when folks come here and try to start trouble for no reason. I dont know how you guys deal with that all day.
Good news about TDK.
Look at the space between Austin and the chick he's with. They're not leaning into each other like a couple. She's clearly not his girlfriend. Body language tells the story.
ReplyDeleteAdrianne Palicki is 2008's Jennifer Esposito?
ReplyDeleteFinally got a minute to look at the pictures. It just looks like Austin being Austin; he always seems to manage to wrap his arms around friends and co-workers, except, very tellingly, Jake.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wante to know is why he's keeping that hand in his pocket.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteSorry, want, not wante.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI thought the angry inch was her chin. But her chin is bigger.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteSanto cazzo
ReplyDeleteHoly frederick
Faccia da culo
Butt-ugly
Cacasotto
chicken sh*t
Scassacazzo
Pain in the a**
Le tue ascelle puzzano
Your armpits stink
Porco Dio
God you are a Pig
Austin looks pretty darn good in those pictures. You can't tell anything from those pictures, tho. That's a real prom pose if I ever saw one. Neither one is leaning into the other. Like the scruff on him.
ReplyDeletei cant believe you deleted my post. Förbannade hönsjärna! means "Damn chickenbrain!" in swedish. i use it on myself when i make mistakes which is all the time.
ReplyDeletea real prom pose
ReplyDeleteset up by their parents err agents!
You forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone. ;)
ReplyDeleteOne more for the swear list.
ReplyDeleteDick Cheney!
Take you me for a sponge?
ReplyDeleteCheck out who's on the list.
ReplyDeleteThe Secret Rosette: Ridiculously Unnecessary Blog about Ridiculously Good Looking Guys
You forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone.
ReplyDeleteaustin & matt gubler! 2 very smart guys. woul love to see them collaborate one day. gubler acts but is aslo a filmmaker.
ReplyDeleteI usually think Austin looks good, but he looks like hot buttered shit at that ESPN party. He has that sweaty 'I've just done an eight ball of coke' look. :(
ReplyDeleteaustin has degree in writing, gubler has degree in filmmaking. hope they meet and do something together.
ReplyDeleteSorry Look it up, but English is the only language I understand with any confidence. I wasn't sure if you were translating with your comment or not. Someone posted something above you in Swedish that I tried to translate and got gibberish. I figured it might be something offensive so I deleted it. When I saw your post I thought it was more of the same.
ReplyDeleteagree with the sweaty look but girl has it too. methinks its bad lighting at the red carpet 'stop and pose here' section.
ReplyDeleteWhat pic does she use for Austin on the list? Lakers I!
ReplyDeleteAdrianne Palicki is pretty, but I think Austin Nichols is breaking out in the flop sweat because no one actually believes, despite the cuddling that he is actually dating her. Don't see Austin around as much now that he and Jake don't spend their weekends working out and going to bookstores together.
ReplyDeleteScroll down
Also, check out Helen Mirren in a bikini!
for you my dearest wicked ;)
ReplyDeleteswearsaurus
[the ads are nfsw]
bwt the swedish you deleted above me was "Get lost! Go to hell!" LOL
Austin's picture right below J.D. Drew of the Sox getting the MVP of the Allstar Game IN Yankee Stadium. How much can a Sox girl take.
ReplyDelete" huh? where? said...
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone."
Before the "j".
I couldn't find my sheet with Chinese swear words. I did find a great saying in the Chinese slang dictionary: You can't hide fire in a paper bag.
ReplyDeleteFrom Ted:
ReplyDeleteSuper Sibs
Jake Gyllenhaal and Maggie Gyllenhaal: Jakey-Poo’s already cemented his status as a leading man, and Mag-doll certainly is a megawatt star on the rise, taking over Mrs. Cruise's role in The Dark Knight. We’d love to see these cuties play onscreen sibs again like they did in Donnie Darko.
Love the photos of Austin at the Espys - thanks, Spooky. The hair and stubble suit him. Also love that he seems to have such great relationships with his co-stars. Could he possibly be filming some additional episodes of FNL?
ReplyDeleteFrom MK/Dlisted
ReplyDeleteReese Witherspoon cleans up well, but Jakey would still look sexier in that gown IDLYITW
Random comments from the Ent. Lawyer
ReplyDeleteSo, Jake decided to go hetero for Reese? Poor Austin. :(
Don't be silly, who on Earth would go hetero for Reese Witherspoon?!? LOL!
Don't believe everything you read in the rags.
Hollywood, PR, fauxmance.
........
Austin and Jake - What about Monday thru Friday?
........
Reese - LOL of all the pics Ent uses the one that says "Maxi B" on the ladder.
bwt the swedish you deleted above me was "Get lost! Go to hell!" LOL
ReplyDeleteI put that Swedish phrase into a Swedish-English online translator and it came back as, "You must tighten the forest." I found the implications of Jake giving Reese this advice somewhat troubling!
When Reeke holds hands, they do not intertwine their fingers, the hands are always clasped.
ReplyDeleteThou reeky knotty-pated strumpet!
ReplyDeleteWicked, you're funny. ;)
ReplyDeleteI've noticed Ever Notice.
ReplyDeleteNot really digital dancing is it?
Frrrickinfrackingolldangmundanenoodlegrrrrshrakenbaladashrifff!
ReplyDeleteThis has to be a classic swear from Ralphie's dad.
ReplyDeleteBUMPUSES!!!!!
'When Reeke holds hands, they do not intertwine their fingers, the hands are always clasped.'
ReplyDeleteAnd its always like a frederickin death grip. makes me sweat and wring out my hands just looking at it and not in a good way.
after rome ent lawyer had reeke on his site [called 'i laughed and laughed'] and he said 'who the hell holds hands like that?'
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone have a link to Ent.Lawyer's site? I'd love to read what he's written about Reeke.
ReplyDeleteEnt Lawyer Crazy Days and Nights
ReplyDeleteThanks Linked In. I'm going to check it out.
ReplyDeleteWhy dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?
ReplyDeleteBoy, that Henry IV had a mouth on him . . . ;)
Ent, I had hoped you'd post something about Reese and her anal-retentive house rules. Jake would rather take out the trash when the can is half full than go book-shopping with a cute boy?
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine Milch having dinner at Reese's? LOL
ReplyDeleteNot only do they not intertwine fingers, but they seldom make eye contact or smile at each other, just at other people, or at cell phones.
ReplyDeleteIHJ added some more photos in HD. Jake's hair looks pretty rough in some of those photos. Uncombed, unwashed. Also in pic #20 I swear he is checking out the cute blonde guy. Wonder why the pap did not crop that photo.
Glad to see Austin. His horoscope did say he was coming out from his exile. He is the missing link afterall. I would not be surprised if he is being pressured to be seen with a woman. He was wearing a chain, but I could not see what was on it.
stephen 'f bomb' gyllenhaal having dinner at reeses....maggie 'f bomb' gyllenhaal having dinner at reeses....jake not having any family or friends at reeses....jake not having any friends.....or family....only lonely dinners at reeses.
ReplyDeleteIs Jake taking pictures with a Leica camera? Color me jealous.
ReplyDeleteI think he was picking Ava up in the garden walk so she could take a picture from up high with her own camera.
whats at the back of jakes shirt underneath? is this how he wears(hides) his chain, on his back or is it my imagination?
ReplyDeletepucker, brown donut or ??
ITA re the hair M. rough and dirty..not nice. about the cute blonde guy..maybe the camera caught jake at the momet but funny how he has his lips relaxed and slightly parted..def a sign of attraction.
ReplyDeleteThe blonde guy has an all american boy look, you think he reminded Jake of someone else?
ReplyDeleteHe really is checking out that Austin guy, isn't he :D
ReplyDelete100
ReplyDeleteYay new Austin pics
ReplyDeleteAdrianne Palicki is very Mandy Mooreish but is supposed to be a giant - about 5'11 or so.
So you know, in a double beard date, she could stare the little one down like nobodies business.
Still like Sophia the best though.
He really is checking out that Austin guy, isn't he :D
ReplyDeleteWhich picture is that?
Pay attention to MEEEEE!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeleteLOL
If you wanted proof that the London/Paris trip was for PR, check out the US Weekly story. It's all in there. The main focus of the article is that Reeke and kids are a FAMILY. Here are some highlights-
ReplyDelete*Jake took the kids to a high end Paris toy store and let them each buy one toy, he acted very fatherly
*The Paris trip was a trial run to see how Jake would do at parenting
*Reeke spent time alone together in London and then she sent for the nanny and kids
*Once the kids were there, everything was about them
*Gyllenhaal family says Reese "is exactly who they want him to be with" (I guess she's not who the G-fam wants to be with though, considering they never spend any time with her)
*"The feeling in the hotel was that they [Reeke] were the kids' parents- they were that close."
*They're putting off marriage until his schedule puts him back in LA
After just looking at the addtional pics added at IHJ, looks to me like they tried really hard to out do the Rome pics. Reeke hardly ever holds hands or even makes eye contact, but on this photo op, they're hand holding and Reese does her ultimate show of affection, putting her hand in the back pocket of Jake's jeans. But, who the hell stands in the middle of a park, with your kids, nanny, bodyguard and half of the country there, and just stands there with your hand in your boyfriends back jean pocket. I think this is Reese's way of saying, yeah we have sex, see I'm touching his ass.
ReplyDeleteYou Nailed It!
ReplyDeleteWhat's worse is he's totally engrossed in whatever's on his Blackberry, and there's a huge gap between them. The hand in pocket looks very unnatural - not like Rome. The hand is isolated from the rest of her, almost.
ReplyDeleteSaw the cover page of US Weekly and I wondered now How on Earth did they get that shot? It's like a Glamour shot. In all the countless coffee shop/shopping outings (and that's all they ever do back here in the states) they don't come close to looking like this. When was the Justin Long/Drew Barrymore all-over-each-other phase, I really want to know. Because if Reese was any kind of warm-blooded, breathing hetero woman, I'm sorry, but she would be all over that guy. Who wouldn't, I ask? It's like they fastforwarded to the been-married-for-15-years, yeah, we do it once every 3 months phase.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing that still gets me is how the rags are painting this as a test/trial for Jake, to see if he is step-father worthy. Altho, they don't even say step, like Ryan P. doesn't even exist anymore. Uh, weren't the rags trumpeting the fact that they've been shacked up since at least winter? So why does he need to interview for this part of the professed upcoming nuptials? And I'm still thinking of that all-too-telling photoshot of the kids walking hand-in-hand with the nanny on the Paris sidewalk and Jake walking a carlength behind, his face buried in that phone. uh huh. yeah. He's all over that one, he is.
Sorry for the ramble. Wicked/Special, thanks for the opportunity to hurl my opinion into cyberspace, even if no one reads or gives a flip.
Good morning!
barfing said !!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
Well, can't decide if I want to pu this Us Weekly on my way into Wally World, drive around the store & laugh/hurl, then bring it back & gently place back into the magazine rack on my way out.
I read you PG and I agree. The cover stories are set way in advance. Notice that even a shocking event doesn't always make it onto the cover (esp. at US). The pictures were taken to support the story and the whole thing is bizarre. (The hand in the back pocket is priceless!)
ReplyDeletePerhaps this is all counter acting the kids getting a real live step mother in the coming months.
We'll see. Did you notice the last few lines though? "Distance and being apart will test their relationship." It's almost like they are planting the seed for the inevitable breakup story.
Because if Reese was any kind of warm-blooded, breathing hetero woman, I'm sorry, but she would be all over that guy. Who wouldn't, I ask? It's like they fastforwarded to the been-married-for-15-years, yeah, we do it once every 3 months phase.
ReplyDeletePG, I've been thinking this too. The mind boggles. And very few hetero men would be happy about that situation either. ;)