What do you do when you find out you're living in the less fashionable part of Notting Hill after you thought you were had picked the perfect place from watching Notting Hill the movie over and over again while doing your victory dance after dethroning the last America's Sweetheart and Top Hollywood Earner? You call in the Mouse.
Does it remind people of the Grinch's heart - 2 sizes too small? Slap on a facade make it look like it grew 3 times too big. Make those less desirable neighbors into better ones, bright up the house with a fresh coat of paint, make those column bigger and make that hum drum look a little bit more posh. Pissed Brits after a evening out exchange them for happy sober bright and shiny neighbors. Tacky emergency call boxes, rip them out. Throw down that scaffolding. Make it look like you own the block.
Just schedule with Mouse Makeovers and jet off to the continent for a long weekend. When you return the whole neighborhood will look just like the Disney Notting Hill of your dreams complete with a modern day Mary Poppins waiting at the gate.
Gate? what gate?
Oh yes Mouse Makeovers can make those pesky London streets a complete gated community for you. Who wants pesky paps at your door, when you can have them clamoring at a gate at the end of your road. Talk about the Royal Treatment. Put on your best British accent and viola! Better than Britian at Epcot, you know that Americanize Britian that is much nicer.
And the Man of the House, just let him be to his own devices, he doesn't understand that this way is so much better. Your way is always better. If he wants real London vs. this sugar confection that's his problem. You don't have time in your schedule to stop and explain how this is so much better than the real thing. You tried you best to tell him to straighten up but he never seems to take your advice. All the lecturing you've done and he doesn't seem to listen that blondes know best, all the best Disney girls are blondes. If he wants to go out he will just have to sneak out the garden own his own. You can't be bothered. You're a mission girl to make it Sweet Notting Hill U S A.
Pink perfectness and tiny dog sold separately.
Reese doing a British accent. Oh God!
ReplyDeleteHi Clarity - I saw Sin Eater (The Order) in the 7.99 bin and jumped on it. I'd been looking for that one. ITA, Heath is devestating looking in that. Gotta figure out why Borders has dropped me from their emailings. I've missed the last couple coupon ops.
ReplyDeleteRegarding someone's post last night about Reeke maybe getting hitched while in Paris - that'd be something, wouldn't it? I don't put it past them about anything. Bout seen it all, esp after that JJ concert pic, as clumsy looking as that one was.
I'd like to give Jake some credit, tho. I'm holding out for a tryst between him & a tall Texan while in Paris.
Put on your best British accent and viola! Better than Britian at Epcot, you know that Americanized Britian that is much nicer.
ReplyDeleteKinda wondered about this, with the move to the hotel rumor. Sure, you can have visited a few times, but doesn't mean a superior attitude doesn't come along. :(
And what about Ryan, with Jake leading "his" family onto the Eurail train?
In 666 there lives a Mr. Miller
ReplyDeleteHe's a local vicar and a serial killer
No wonder Reeke moved!
Pregnant Man movie
ReplyDeleteNottinghill or hotel, where ever reeke is, its all a house of cards.
ReplyDelete'Reese doing a British accent.'
ReplyDelete1 more reason to start public hangings at london tower!
Love the song! :)
ReplyDeleteor you can just f-n kill her.
ReplyDeleteLet me in, let me in cried the Tall Texan
ReplyDeleteOr I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your house in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin said the Blonde
Funny:
ReplyDeleteRich people, turns out really rich people, the kind with six houses, a private jet, a butler, and a majordomo are so plagued by the constant niggling challenges of managing their multimillions that style often falls by the wayside.
The Laugh of Luxury
Posted on WFT2:
ReplyDeleteIt's like a "can you find all of the clues" video. I'm not sure what he's saying, the man cake pan goes into the oven and comes out a Katz? ;)
Ted is one good looking guy. He's got alot of pazazz, made for that kind of TV. He cracked me up but he also got me when he was peeling that banana the way he was, lol.
ReplyDeleteKinda interesting the way he keeps picking on Jake, hinting at things underneath yet not saying. And where did he get that manpan? Surely not the Wilton store!
baby done in the oven
ReplyDeletecat out of the bag
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ReplyDeleteOr Matthew Frost-Katz as the assistant who let the cat out of the bag? And no more male assistants.
ReplyDeleteWhile Reeke is in Europe - Ryan&Abbie.
ReplyDeletethe man cake pan went into the oven but turns into a pussy who runs like hell out of the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteremember how ted said tt was going to come out but changed his mind?
ReplyDeletetwo words
ReplyDeletedude shafter
Didn't someone once say Ted's items often have three layers of meaning to them. Seems like this is one of them, I think all three explanations above are right.
ReplyDeleteProbably he couldn't stand the heat. Ted is very attractive, and Margo was cute. :)
ReplyDeleteI like Ted as a gossip writer, and his almost journalistic approach. He's got it all over anyone else. To me, he's very facile with words; I'm sure he knows all the layers of meaning associated with words, and all the metaphors and analogies associated with them. He wouldn't use them if he didn't intend them. As usual, he's a puzzle.
ReplyDeleteUploaded today's song and suggested to Spesh doing a post about the neighborhood. As usual, she hits it out of the park. I am enjoying all of your rewritten lyrics. Got any more?
ReplyDeleteI like Ted as a gossip writer, and his almost journalistic approach.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I sometimes think Ted considers the issue of coming out, and the issue of whether someone owes any obligation to others like them who have suffered greatly due to oppression, discrimination and intolerance, as something a lot bigger than Jake Gyllenhaal, as many of us do. Sometimes nothing points out a vulgarity better than a vulgar word or analogy to describe it, depending on how it is used. Why limit Ted to just three layers of meaning?
Today's post is great and was hit right out of the park. :)
That song was hilarious Wicked. Way beyond appropriate. It totally speaks for itself : )
ReplyDeleteYou two work so well together.
Let me in, let me in cried the Tiny
ReplyDeleteI know what I hear, oh blimey!
huffing and puffing and blowing
sounds like something's a-growing
between Longhorn and my gay boyfriend's hiney
very clever, goose's wild, i like that! the Tiny!
ReplyDeleteearly goodnight to you all. Got a 1-night dogsitting gig. 2 wiener dogs by the name of Barkley & Libby. Have a good night!
There once was a boy named Jake
ReplyDeletewhose favorite was chocolate cake
but after further inspection
found no confection
as sweet as a pearl shake
thanks prarie girl. feeling naughty today.
ReplyDeleteWhy bother to move to a hotel when you are going away the next day anyway. I like the theory that she was never there in the first place. Just visiting.
ReplyDeleteWatched the Heath bio yesterday.It was OK. A bit tame but I did learn a few things about his past. After seeing Heath on a horse in several different movie scenes, my first thought was that Jake needs to do a lot more practice riding. One thing that happens to "stars" who get too big is that people hesitate to tell them the truth. Jake needs to do more training to look natural on his horse.
The way Jakey was riding his horse he was gonna be sore.
ReplyDelete'Why bother to move to a hotel when you are going away the next day anyway. I like the theory that she was never there in the first place. Just visiting.'
ReplyDeleteIMO she, kids and nanny were at the hotel primarily first but she spent alot of time with her friend-boy Jake shopping and dining [neglecting the kiddies btw] at his place. she killed 2 birds with 1 stone: spending time with Jake at his house helped her avoid the kids and it made it look like they were living together.
sorry M, where did you mean she was never there/visiting - the hotel or the nottingham house?
ReplyDeletefunny how most comments are blogged M-F 8-5 while people at work. we bored much? LOL
ReplyDelete'The way Jakey was riding his horse he was gonna be sore.'
ReplyDeletewhen i saw the Pop vid of him riding the horse with his ass bouncing up and down hard on the saddle and him grinning the whole time I LOLd. he looked like he liked it!
I hope you are not insinuating what I think you're insinuating.
ReplyDeleteTheir tops are made out of rubber
ReplyDeleteTheir bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
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ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThere once was a dog named Katz
who carried many big bats
but after spilling a deception
got a frosty reception
and is no longer welcome
at the welcome mats
Well, if the spilling came from Katz, then it must have had at least Austin's blessing because he is clearly still friends with him, and I suspect Jake is too.
ReplyDeletecanter, are you a homophobe in disguise or what.
ReplyDeleteITA Destiny.
ReplyDeleteoh please gimme a break. remember: its ok to make fun of gay if you're gay. i'm lucky i'm bi so i get to LOL about everyone! :)
ReplyDeletelimerick disclaimer- i just went with what rhymed!
ReplyDeleteit was hard getting his whole name in there. matt frost & katz!
ReplyDeleteCanter was insinuating that Jake might enjoy gay sex. Why is it homophobic to insinuate that?
ReplyDeleteIs it me, or is Abbie the anti-Reese? She seems to be everything Reese is not.
ReplyDeleteThe LJ sighting is obviously real since it's of Jake only, shopping.
ReplyDeleteJust have to respond to the above comment from True in the last thread. No, what makes a sighting real is that the person actually did see Jake, not that he was alone. Or are you insinuating that we only believe sightings with Jake alone and not those of Reeke together? Many people here have felt Reeke sightings were true. We're not all the same here. I kinda doubted that particular sighting because the sighters were pissed drunk!
TMZ has a story about a NYC limo company who has taped their clients during their rides. It was used by a lot of celebs. TMZ inquired if the limo company has audio tapes in the cars.
ReplyDeleteWonder how many celebs are getting a little worried.
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ReplyDeleteYeah odd, in a rather crude frat boy way, which sound less than respectful. Yeah rather homophobic. I don't believe you for a minute canter.
ReplyDeleteAnon give yourself a name or Spesh or Wicked will delete your comment.
ReplyDeleteI was saying I thought the sighting was real because it was Jake alone, shopping. I believe some Reeke sightings too.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't insinuating anything about anyone else's opinion, nor being sarcastic.
Being drunk shouldn't make a difference. If all your drunk companions also see the celeb, then you've probably seen the celeb.
rest said...
ReplyDeleteIs it me, or is Abbie the anti-Reese? She seems to be everything Reese is not.
You bet she is young and hot. Plus she has got the man that reese still loves.
If that was the 'love nest' then our 'love birds' have left the coup. Its back on the market
ReplyDeletenice but not a mansion
and actually checking out the spec, the term 'over priced, bit on the pokey side, and surely Reese to stump up for something with a garden' comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteReeke will have to find a place with a moat around it and a drawbridge, to keep the paps at bay.
ReplyDeleteat least you would think they (or they're people) would have the sense to choose something with a front garden next time.
ReplyDeleteWell that's what I wondered - didn't they have someone taking care of such things, professional, and security would be a priority? I tend to think maybe they were never at this place? It's not a bad place really, but it is a little exposed, as you say. I bet it's nice inside. :)
ReplyDeleteWell that's what I wondered - didn't they have someone taking care of such things, professional, and security would be a priority?
ReplyDeleteOf course they do. Remember the letter from Jake's attorney to the blogger who posted something about Jake's rented house in SC (Nailed)?
In London case privacy and security obviously wasn't important.
I wonder why.