Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Freebird

Seems like Jake knows his inner bird.
Or was it pure coicidence?

"Many Native American cultures have the belief that a person is assigned an animal upon the time of birth."

Owl: Nov 23 – Dec 21
Changeable and mutable as the wind, the Owl is a tough one to pin down. Warm, natural, with an easy-going nature, the Owl is friend to the world. The bearer of this Native American animal symbol is notorious for engaging in life at full speed, and whole-hearted loves adventure. This can be to his/her detriment as the Owl can be reckless, careless, and thoughtless. Owls make great artists, teachers, and conservationists. However, due to his/her adaptability and versatility – the Owl would likely excel in any occupation. In a supportive, nurturing environment the Owl is sensitive, enthusiastic, and an attentive listener. Left to his/her own devices, the Owl can be excessive, overindulgent, bitter, and belligerent.


Beaver: Apr 20 – May 20
Take charge, adapt, overcome – this is the Beaver motto. Mostly business, the Beaver is gets the job at hand done with maximum efficiency and aplomb. Strategic, and cunning the Beaver is a force to be reckoned with in matters of business and combat. One might also think twice about engaging the Beaver in a match of wits – as his/her mental acuity is razor sharp. The Beaver has everything going for him/her – however tendencies toward "my way or the highway" get them in trouble. Yes, they are usually right, but the bearer of this Native American animal symbol may need to work on tact. In a nurturing environment the Beaver can be compassionate, generous, helpful, and loyal. Left to his/her own devices the Beaver can be nervous, cowardly, possessive, arrogant, and over-demanding.



Something to crow about? Or maybe raven?

Do the animals fit the person? Test yourself to see.

28 comments:

  1. Ellen a spokesperson for makeup? I love it!

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  2. The descriptions of their assigned animals seem to really fit Jake and Austin.

    Jake has always been very outgoing and outspoken, at times even getting himself in trouble for saying (or doing...) too much in public.
    And Austin seems to generally do things his way, who cares what others think about it. And he always gets a little bit of a protective aura when he's around Jake.
    But at the same time I bet they can have some pretty explosive fights once they get going :)

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  3. Great post Special, but I have one question for you: how can you label a post "Freebird" and not play Skynrd. :-)

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  4. Fun post today, my inner animal describes me to a T as well. :)

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  5. Bitch-Back! Close on Toothy

    Dear Ted:
    You are so sassy! I knew Toothy Tile was Matthew McConaughey. And then you gave it away stating that Liev Schrieber and Toothy have a much in common...duh, like Liev scrambled is Levi, Matthew's new baby. Seriously! Brilliant. I'm a Republican, through and through...but honestly Ted, I think we would be great buddies. Why can't elephants and donkeys just get along? I adore you.
    —J. Strauss

    Dear Jungle Joneser:
    Why does everybody in the world think M.M. is T.T.? (He's not.) I simply find that fascinating. Adore you back!


    Dear Ted:
    I love your column and even if you piss me off more often than not (especially when you badmouth Jennifer Aniston and Jen Garner), I just can't stop reading and following your work. I wish I knew how to quit ya! Is James Franco Toothy Tile?
    —Lisa

    Dear Toothy Tell All:
    No, but dollmuff, you're so close more than a few fagolas in T-town are sweatin' plenty right about now. Nice detective work.

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  6. Dear Ted:
    I absolutely can't stand the format and color of the AT site now. I know, I know, I know you don't care, you're past it...but anyone who's says they like it is just sucking up to you big-time. On another item, in your experienced estimation, what's the ratio of heteros to gays/lesbians in Hollywood? Just so I won't be shocked the next time I read one of your columns.
    —Kat

    Dear Math Class:
    1 in 10. Are straight, that is.

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  7. My inner animal only sounds about half like me, the other half is really off. And my gf's inner animal sounds nothing like her.

    Great news about Ellen and Cover Girl, especially given it is such a mainstream product, and not one of the edgier cosmetic lines.

    Anything other than "quit ya" making TT sweat? And is Ted suggsting Franco is the answer to recent blind vice about the swimming pool?

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  8. More snippets about Franco. This time about Columbia female undergrads stalking him on campus.

    Franco - Gawker

    Timing is a funny thing.

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  9. Once again I think Ted is pointing at Jake with the way he addresses some of the letter writers. Some of them I'm not sure about, but here's some of the ones clearly pointing towards Jake:

    Math Class (Proof)

    Dog Watch (remember Boo Watch? Plus the stupid Reese with Atticus pictures)

    Pumping Up Palin(for Pops--ignore the Palin reference, or maybe Palin being a fake is a round about way of bringing up the steroid debate)

    He's Got Legs (Namath bio)

    Sexy Siblings (no explanation needed)

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  10. Good. Ted finally said "no" to Matt M.

    I've been waiting for that for ages, as that guess kept coming up on FCC with posters saying "but he hasn't been elimated". Now he has. Cool.

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  11. "I wish I knew how to quit ya!" would seem to be a pretty obvious clue for Toothy, as if any are needed at this point.

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  12. See Gemma in the new trailer for Bond's Quantum of Solace
    EW.com Quantum of Solace Trailer

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  13. "Is He On The Meal Plan?: Not since Jake Gyllenhaal was chased down the halls of the Butler Library by a mob of screaming frosh students screaming, "It's that kid from October Skyyyyyy!!!" has the Columbia campus been so gripped by an outbreak of Bookish Matinee Idol Fever:"'[James Franco] was studying in the school's Butler Cafe the other night when a crowd gathered, "particularly the type of ridiculous, squealing freshman girl . . . all harassing the poor guy,' writes student Vesal Yazdi in the Columbia Spectator. '[They] were shameless enough to literally go right up to him...Do a bit of subtle ogling, but don't stand around the entrance like a pack of starving vultures." [Page Six]

    PopGrind

    Why do I picture freshman Jake grinning with a giggle and running down between the stacks?

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  14. I find it hard to keep up with nu-Ted! There's just so much!

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  15. Ted has done everything but state Jake is Toothy, I wish I knew how to quit ya being just one more nail in the proverbial coffin. But until Jake comes out, I guess Ted's words are just words. It's all about baby tile for me now. Boy or girl and where the hell is it.

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  16. So I'm a native american Falcon, an Aries and in Chinese astrology an Ox. All pretty much dead on.

    Both Austin and Jake are monkeys in the Chinese astrology world.

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  17. ^^ :)

    I'm a Native American Woodpecker, a Chinese Astrology Rooster and a Cancer, all pretty much dead-on too. There's a goose in the Native American animal totem list too.

    I just wish we could know what is going on - I'm pretty much a J&A and Baby Tile believer, but I've waxed and waned so much I'm dizzy. If it isn't true, just let us know so we can all move on!

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  18. Native American Woodpecker and Cancer - and oh so true.

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  19. Like Jake, I am the owl and I don't think it fits. I am pretty consistent so I don't think "changeable and mutable as the wind" really describes me.

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  20. I'm a Raven (and a Libra). Like I said earlier it's only about half right-- I am not a natural entrepreneur, charmer or romantic, nor do I think people turn to me for my idea. A lot of the rest fits.

    I don't see how anyone, including newbies, can think TT is anyone but Jake after today.

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  21. Tend to agree, Destiny. I haven't read the whole TT archive, but who hasn't been guessed? And I wish I knew how to quit ya! ??? Geez, how blatant is that?

    Oh, and I love that first picture. They look so good together. Really like the owl shirt, too. I've never seen a shirt like that. I never see shirts period with birds on them.

    I started to do the Native Animal quiz and then got on a Tilt-A-Whirl ride with it trying to skip this, that, & the other thing. I gave up. I'm sure I'm something aggressive & growling - maybe a badger or a nasty warthog. This is kind of interesting because I just had a co worker get her Native American name this summer. She has some Indian blood lineage and so her & her family went to go do that. I thought it was so cool.

    I've got to hit the hay-gotta get up early tomorrow. Dogsitting Chloe and the Major tomorrow through Sat. Major is a cat. I think I'm falling asleep right now as I type.

    Hi Destiny! Nite, Destiny!

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  22. Hi PG! And I'll wish you a good morning as I'm sure you've headed off quite awhile ago.

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  23. Ratticus have been papped again.

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. Ratticus have been papped again.

    Link please.

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  26. J. Strauss is an interesting name. Strauss is not a name you see just anyday, unless you have it on the back of your jeans. But then, that's L Strauss.

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