Poet Sharon Mesmer wrote this and posted it on her blog back in October of 2006.
Jake Gyllenhaal's Dog
The ghost of a dog coffeepot foretold:
Jake Gyllenhaal has two cats and my parents have three cats
and I got a second dog.
All it takes to start a new religion
is resentment and a pot of cold coffee
and Jake Gyllenhaal walking his dog.
It's funny that people find other people getting coffee really interesting,
or walking their dogs in the dog park —
welcome to Christian Carnivore ‘04:
with only the occasional torn-up slipper and scattered
hieroglyphic chapters
as proof that any human beings ever lived there,
the dog coffeepot became a sign that,
for the poor, coffee is always already over.
Didn’t Thomas Jefferson predict that would happen
once dark bilious vapors began to define the character
of our dogs? 
Hey! Aren't we supposed to just have good things happen to us?
Jake Gyllenhall’s dog is as much of a dog as that Brazilian double-bagger
Giselle Bundchen’s dog,
and I’d really like to know
how shepherds do it with their dogs.
Kim’s sharing spirit has done a great job in telling us about some of the things
that shepherds do with their dogs.
What is the difference between Christianity and all other religions?
The answer is that Dr. Bob is mind blowing.
So consider the story of Ben Stiller and Jake Gyllenhaal:
they got their eyes checked and their dogs autoclaved.
How did Jake Gyllenhaal’s dog get way up there on that fence post anyway?
That black poodle-looking dog had a rocking a cool 'fro
and dog food heaped with Pepto-Bismol.
What is the "abomination that causes desolation" in Mark 13:14?
The daily news, the conflicting messages in the world
and the longing for another man’s funky dung.
Humans in zoos, cross breeding —
it’s evolutionists vs creationists and I’ll be pooping on both
and from beneath the dirty hood comes an awkward
I love you on the sofa in the dark:
It was Jesus weeping as Jake Gyllenhaal returned
from Dramatic Dog Walk/Smoothie Excursion.
It's all over.
The dog has been walked
and the smoothie is just a distant memory.
Pappa G has written about, Ms. Mesmer has written too, and do you think Jake has inspired a Southern poet who has blogged some of his poetic license before?
From the previous comments, by Destiny:
ReplyDeleteI saw a picture of Reese on a link at wft2 the past couple of days. She had on shoes that looked more like something Sophia would wear. I bet it is an intentional move.
Can you expound on why you thought it was an "intentional move"? I'm not sure I understand. Thanks.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think that first picture of Jake says it all. No beard. No boyfriend. No Chris. No Sis. Only faithful Atticus. Maybe Jake does need some alone time to figure out who the hell he really is.
ReplyDeleteWow, just read that article about From Here to Eternity from yesterdays comment. Very interesting. Both the reality of the authors military experiences and what he went through with the book. I am glad that a true copy exists somewhere. I wonder if it will be republished.
ReplyDeleteFirst picture 2004.He had Sis. He had Chris. He had boyfriend. He had beard.
ReplyDeleteFirst picture 2004.He had Sis. He had Chris. He had boyfriend. He had beard.
ReplyDeleteSorry thought that wa a recent picture. Looked like it might be Pitts in the bkg.
I just watched the trailer to PoP. Had to. I see nothing unique about this movie or the Prince. The Prince is no Jack Sparrow.
...
ReplyDeleteHogan isn't the only celeb we've spotted out an about recently. Read on for scoop on Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, Blake Lively, Jon Hamm and E!'s very own Joel McHale…
PENN PALS: Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, walking hand-in-hand along Pittsburgh's Walnut Street—yes, Pittsburgh!
...
E! Online Marc Malkin
If Austin is willing to do his own bearding then he's not going to have any problem with his guy marrying just so they can both do whatever. Geez, it's all such a sicko, weirdo thing they've all got going on now. I don't know how on earth they know who they really are without a dance card at this point.
ReplyDelete^^ Kind of sounds like Brokeback Mountain to me. LOL (Jack and Ennis)'s Lives!
Does anyone realizes this.
Whoo whoo, Former TB is back under yet another name!
ReplyDeleteManolo, I think Reese is trying to look young and hip like Sophia and other young actresses, and fails at it miserably because she's not hip and looks stupid instead of edgy and young.
ReplyDeleteWhoo whoo, Former TB is back under yet another name!
ReplyDeletePanties ----> Bunched
What ---> Paranoid ---> Former TB
ReplyDeleteThe Marc Malkin mention is a bit of weird timing. Because Reese has been seen in LA as late as yesterday and for the past two weeks, doing what she does, shop. And with her appearance on Conan last night, you can't really put her in Pittsburgh recently. Think it's been a while since there was mention of the her with Jake and there needed to be a mention somewhere besides twitter.
ReplyDeleteReese was in Pitt. recently, she was photographed at the airport and later folks on twitter said they saw Jake & her in Pitt.
ReplyDeleteTabloids goto publication on Monday nights, so often what is said or what is published happens almost a week prior to the report.
I believe it was last weekend.
Passingby,
ReplyDeleteReese and her fauxmance are too boring for tabloids.
The Malkin sighting was from last weekend, notice there was no date of the sighting along with the other celeb sightings, no date. There were tweets of them in Pittsburgh at Pamela's. You have had to have seen them SK. She must have returned to L.A. on Tuesday based on the pap pics.
ReplyDeleteHow can you say there were no recent mentions when you saw that they were in Pittsburgh last weekend, there was even a mention on a ONTD thread, you saw that too.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteA reminder of what you saw last weekend SK, from twitter:
ReplyDeleteCMilesBurr: Just hung with Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal at pamelas in Shadyside http://bit.ly/1VsrEi 7 days ago from Twitterrific
LarZee: At Pamela's with Jake G and Reese W 7 days ago from Echofon
From ONTD:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/40948592.html?thread=6260227440#t6260227440
The sightings on Malkin's blog are from last weekend , not from today as are the other celeb sightings, you don't have to e a rocket scientist to figure that out.
BTW, there were tweets of a solo Jake at a Whole foods in Pittsburgh today but you already saw that already.
Good babbler!!!
ReplyDeleteYet there have been no pictures of Reese with Jake any of these weekends spent in Pittsburgh and NYC. Do you really think she is going to keep going back for visits if she can't get more press than twitter mentions?
ReplyDeleteWould Reese fly in for 2 day to PITTSBURGH and get nothing out of it? You forget she has to get something out of everything she does.
Kind of like the police and the Paparazzi thing last week, or announcing an another movie deal the week Jake's trailer rolls out and he gets good mentions for Brothers (kind of like announcing Pharma Girl movie the week after LaOD was confirmed for him) or paying for groceries for some poor unnamed women who left her wallet, but there was no way to confirm that because they mom never came forward.
And before you jump all over the twitter thing on me. I have always ascerned that tweets can be the 1) the real deal, 2) a way for people who tweet to get attention themselves and 3) a very viable way of communicating something you want people to know ( hmmm like the prinicple behind PR)
ReplyDeleteThe tweets from NYC you did end up see a snap of Reese or the back of her in show up somewhere, the first couple of "weekends" but then nothing, and absolutely nothing in Pittsburgh. Which just seems odd, she's been to Pittsburgh twice to visit Jake and there is not one picture of her in the whole city?
I agree with Special about twitters. I think also think pr spent time setting up weekends where we only got real twitters and twitter photos, but no pap photos, so that down the road they could on occasion fake/count on others to fake twitters about Reeke. I think some of it comes from people pushing their restaurants, too.
ReplyDeleteThen there's the multiple twitters from different places, as people posted on wft2:
Anonymous said...
jeffwongdesign: Just saw Jake Gyllenhaal in person at whole foods.
1 minute ago
(his loc: McLean Virginia)
November 14, 2009 5:18 PM
Anonymous said...
niiiya: just saw jake gyllenhaal walking out of whole foods in pittsburgh.
1 minute ago
November 14, 2009 5:18 PM
As for airport sightings of Reese, she (a) could have been going anywhere, (b) I wouldn't put it past her to fake an airport run, certainly a heck of a lot easier than flying all the way across the country.
ReplyDeletelol, smiley. Always monitoring. 24/7.
ReplyDeleteYuck!! Work on a Saturday!! Yuck! lol. At least my male cubemate was there to share in the pain. Evening whse super had to work, too, so he came up and we 3 had some real yuks regarding office humor and department "stuff". LOLL! Always fun to relive those priceless moments that happen in the office when big admin's aren't around to see & hear. snicker! Love it.
Then it was off to another holiday mart with our camping friend, sister, mom & 2 of her sisters. Our Vegas aunt is in town staying with mom for awhile and then on Friday they went down to Osceola to pick up another sister and bring her back. It's a big endless slumber party going on at my mom's house. They've done nothing but run around every day.
Actually, on a more serious note, it's the best thing for my mom. All of those kids (there were originally 9 of them)were very close and all of the sisters but one have now lost their husbands so they take care of each other. And they're helping Mom out tremendously. Plus they're all fun so we are having a great time. It helps to ease the pain.
Tonight we drove by a restaurant that reminded me of my dad & I started to get all sad again. That's all it takes is to see something or remember something and it pops right back up again.
Our stores have gone whole hog for Christmas already. 2 local radio stations have started their 24/7 playing of Christmas music, have been for about a week now. They always race every year to see who can start playing it first. I'm trying not to listen to it yet because it's too early!
It is nice to see pictures of little Boo. He was one of the cutest dogs. Boo will forever remain one of the biggest mysteries in Jake's life, at least as far as I'm concerned, anyway. I will forever wonder whatever happened to little Boo.
ReplyDeleteAt the holiday mart, there was a booth for Avon. I started to wander in but as soon as I did, I heard the representative asking another customer, "Have you smelled our latest fragrance by Reese Witherspoon?" and sure enough there was that bottle and I did a real hairpin turn right out of there. That's a real sin right there, bringing that Ice Maiden onto my old junior high stomping grounds.
Okay, well, I am off to work on my car wash scene, still reworking & fine tuning. I haven't had hardly any time to write this week; now work is really cramping my style.
Oh oh, 3 in a row. Sorry! But hey, I just happened to find this really interesting article on Wall Street Journal's webpage (it's not exactly current but it's relevant to how Twitter & blogs are affecting businesses). So I reckon if companies like Ford & Coca Cola are paying high attention to these 2 forms of media, then we can be assured that HW's public relations people are as well. I'll repost the article in two posts. It's short but it's really interesting.
ReplyDeleteFor Companies, a Tweet in Time Can Avert PR Mess
A growing number of businesses are tracking social-media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter to gauge consumer sentiment and avert potential public-relations problems.
Ford Motor Co., PepsiCo Inc. and Southwest Airlines Co., among others, are deploying software and assigning employees to monitor Internet postings and blogs. They're also assigning senior leaders to craft corporate strategies for social media.
One morning last December, Scott Monty, Ford's head of social media, saw Twitter messages alerting him to online comments criticizing Ford for allegedly trying to shut a fan Web site, TheRangerStation.com. The dispute prompted about 1,000 email complaints to Ford overnight.
Mr. Monty, who joined Ford the previous July from an advisory firm specializing in social media, didn't wait to learn the facts. He posted messages on his Twitter page, and Ford's, saying he was looking into the matter, adding frequent updates.
Within hours, he reported that Ford's lawyers believed the site was selling counterfeit goods with Ford's logo. He persuaded Ford's lawyers to withdraw the shut-down request if the site would halt the sales. By the end of the day, he Tweeted that the dispute had been resolved.
Jim Oaks, who founded TheRangerStation in 1998, credits Mr. Monty with resolving the problem so quickly. "My relationship with Ford has been better because of this," he says.
Mr. Monty's response won plaudits from social-media watchers. Ron Ploof, founder of consulting firm OC New Media LLC, posted a case study of the incident on the Web, to show clients how companies can use social media to their benefit.
"Social media have magnified the urgency of crisis communication," says Shel Holtz, a communications consultant in Concord, Calif., and co-author of "Blogging for Business." He says seemingly small incidents can quickly spread into bigger PR problems via the Web.
TBC next comment
Continued:
ReplyDeletePepsiCo intensified its social-media efforts last November after employees saw critical Twitter posts about an ad in a German trade magazine for a diet cola, which depicted a calorie killing itself. A popular commentator, whose sister had committed suicide, asked, "How could Pepsi do this?"
A Pepsi spokesman quickly posted an apology on his personal Twitter page. So did Bonin Bough, who is Pepsi's global director of digital and social media. Mr. Bough, who was hired for the job in September, says the incident prompted Pepsi to create a corporate Twitter profile; in May it launched The Juice, part of the networking site BlogHer.com.
Monitoring a corporate image in cyberspace is a daunting task, even with technological help. Tracking software can identify hundreds of posts daily, and managers must decide which could prove troublesome. "If you start seeing a lot of people retweeting it, then you know" to pay attention, says Marcus Schmidt, a senior marketing manager for Microsoft Corp.
Some companies use the information to shape responses to news. On July 13, a Southwest Airlines flight from Nashville to Baltimore made an emergency landing in Charleston, W.Va. Southwest's six-person "emerging-media team" scanned Twitter, Facebook and other Web sites for passengers' reactions -- and found mostly positive comments. The Southwest employees quickly posted Tweets praising the "great work by crew and customers onboard."
Linda Rutherford, Southwest's vice president, communications and strategic outreach, says she might have reacted differently if passengers had been more critical. "We would still be complimentary of our crews, but we might not emphasize that as much," says Ms. Rutherford, who added responsibility for social-media initiatives last summer.
Some companies are training staffers to broaden their social-media efforts. At Ford, Mr. Monty plans to soon begin teaching employees how to use sites like Twitter to represent the company and interact with consumers.
Coca Cola Co. is preparing a similar effort, which initially will be limited to marketing, public affairs and legal staffers. Participants will be authorized to post to social media on Coke's behalf without checking with the company's PR staff, says Adam Brown, named Coke's first head of social media in March.
For now, that job falls to Mr. Brown and three staffers. Last fall, Coke's software spotted a Twitter post from a frustrated consumer who couldn't redeem a prize from the MyCoke rewards program. The consumer's profile boasted more than 10,000 followers.
Mr. Brown quickly posted an apology on the consumer's Twitter profile and offered to help resolve the situation. The consumer got his prize and later changed his Twitter avatar to a photo of himself holding a Coke bottle.
"We're getting to a point if you're not responding, you're not being seen as an authentic type of brand," says Mr. Brown.
by Sarah E. Needleman
Wall Street Journal.com
Mon, Aug 3, 2009
I use this article as just another verification that you better believe Reeke's PR monitors the blogs & Twitter regarding their clients.
What's that stench above
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to see pictures of little Boo.
ReplyDeleteBoo wasn't real...it was just photoshopped in to make Jake look straight.
:)
ReplyDeleteNice post, Spesh, Atticus deserves his own poem.
I agree that Twitter is a medium which can safely be used to push the boundaries of reality.
'Morning, London!
ReplyDeleteI freely admit that I trashed Twitter in the beginning when I shouldn't have. This article shows me that. I'm still not registering because I can't even handle what I've got. You buy anything on the internet and they want you to register, establish a password, etc etc. I've got so many logons and passwords everywhere that it's ridiculous.
In HW's case, that's just where one has to really digest what is posted on there and take a wait & see attitude because you don't know for sure what's true & what's spin.
Well, getting ready to go out for a walk. It's supposed to rain all day today. What a drag! Today is my Sunday to go back to my old church & help usher. So I better get to scootin.
t said...
ReplyDeleteA reminder of what you saw last weekend SK, from twitter:
CMilesBurr: Just hung with Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal at pamelas in Shadyside http://bit.ly/1VsrEi 7 days ago from Twitterrific
LarZee: At Pamela's with Jake G and Reese W 7 days ago from Echofon
And this is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.
Wow it is starting to look like Maggie and Peter may very well get Oscar noms this year. I watched the trailer for An Education and Peter looked great. As did Carey Mulligan. She very well may be the Oscar favorite.
ReplyDeleteIts Sunday I have to go to tweeter.
Carey Mulligan is in Brothers with Jake too.
ReplyDeleteLOL Tom, you crack me up with your twitter comments.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the article PG, I knew companies were using twitter, but very interesting to read how.
Oh man, Tom, you're killing meeeeee! LOLLLL. You're terrible!
ReplyDeleteIt's raining here. Alllllll day. Otherwise, it's a great day.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, Destiny. I found it pretty interesting. Much as I don't follow the thing except when someone posts something on it re: the boys, I do think that it does reinforce the impact that the internet has on business & HW in general. It's where it's at; it's where it's going.
I'm soooo excited! I ordered John Denver & the Muppets Christmas on dvd last night. I absolutely loved that special. I can't wait to get it.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to do any Christmas decorating, Target has alot of stuff on sale. I just read their ad online. I am not buying the KC Star Sunday paper much anymore. They want $2.00 for that thing and they've shrunk it to about 1/2 the size. What a rip.
They practically double the price and then go and double the lack of quantity & quality. Give me a break. So I read my Target ad online. It was really cool. I hate to not support our journalism community but gee whiz. $2.00. That's kind of ridiculous when it was $1.25 just a year ago.