This is a different kind Out SpotlightAfter a week of such tragedy and loss, there are people from all walks of life all over the world who are stepping up and stepping out to share. Some are well known, others unknown, some young, some old. They are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, and straight and they all want to say three simple words - It Get's Better.
Author, advocate, pundit, journalist, husband, father, out and proud man Dan Savage writes an internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column. He has been read, followed, watched and listened to by millions.
Dan wrote a column about Billy Lucas, a boy who took his own life, because he couldn't take the bullying anymore, and Dan just wanted to tell Billy it gets better.
"Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged
himself in a barn on his grandmother's property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates—classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.... I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better."But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
Dan wanted to find a way to reach kids who were struggling with coming into their sexuality and the pressure and bullying that so many face.
"Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids."
So he did something. He and his husband made a short video about their lives. They shared the harassment they endured in school and talked about the full and rewarding lives they have now, so that kids could see it gets better and they put it up on YouTube. Then they invited other LGBT adults to make and upload videos about their lives.The response of that one simple thing? Overwhelming.
Now the It Gets Better Project has thousands of members, the videos have been viewed hundreds of thousands times, and more videos continue to come from all over the world sharing their stories. And it's not just adults, there are teenagers who are speaking to their peers too.
It's giving those 5 minutes that Dan wrote about to let those bullied and isolated and unhappy and feeling there is no hope, know that it does get better.
And here are some who have shared.
One life lost is one too many. One simple thing can change a life.
It Gets Better Project
Driftwood
Driftwood documents "true stories by gay people all over.
The Trevor Project
Matthew's Place
GLSEN Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network
Pacer Center National Center for Bullying Prevention
Make It Better
This is such a wonderful project - for young people enduring this kind of thing, remember that life isn't perfect for anyone, while it may feel bad, it is going to get better and there is beauty in the world, and people who do care amongst the nasty ones. Remember we don't want to lose you. :)
ReplyDeleteJake at The New Yorker Festival 10/2/10
ReplyDeleteBubble Boy
How he'd like to do things other than acting
The term is Papi. Latino men refer to older man as papi. It is a term of respect and endearment. Austin is not of Papi age
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI looove Dan Savage, I've been a huge fan of his for years.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many tremendous stories that are on the It Gets Better Project link, if you have the time, check out some more there.
ReplyDeleteHere is a little blurb about last night in The New Yorker
ReplyDeleteOctober 3, 2010
Sex, Salad Dressing, and Jake Gyllenhaal
Posted by Jennifer Saura
Jake Gyllenhaal sat down with David Denby at SVA Theater 1 last night to discuss his past films and his newest, "Love and Other Drugs." Denby said that the scenes between Gyllenhaal and his love interest, played by Anne Hathaway, were "electrifying." "You may do for straight sex what you did for gay sex," he said.
Gyllenhaal, twenty-nine, has played lovers to many. He took a moment to reflect on movie kissing and sex. "There is a weird sense of being watched," he said. "You can't help but watch yourself, which takes the sexiness out of it."
Ed Zwick, who directed the film, was also on hand, providing fortune-cookie insights into some of the darkest mysteries of Hollywood, a faraway land where "casting is love" and "sex is funny."
Asked what's in store for the future, Gyllenhaal admitted to having other interests. "Paul Newman is someone who I admire," he says. "I think I could make a really good salad dressing, too."
Very touching, the videos. High school is a miserable experience for most people. We had a suicide when I attended, I was about 15 at the time. The brother of one of my girlfriends and 1 or 2 years older. I never heard the reasons why, don't know if he was gay, but he was extremely handsome, intelligent and athletic. It made no sense to me at all because it appeared to me that he had everything going for him. I sincerely hope these videos help prevent any more tragedies.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone watch Bored to Death on HBO? I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteTonight you could have played 6 degrees of Gyllenhaal. Family friend Ted Dancy and childhood friend Jason Schwartzman are leads in the show. Fellow LaOD co-star Oliver Platt and Josh Gad guest starred in this week's episode. Ted's character passes time on the Urologist's exam table reading The New Yorker, and one of the two main settings of the show is Brooklyn.
Just need a farmers market and shopping cart with an organic cotton liner. : D
lots of Jake and Toothy mentions from Ted again today. In answer to a question. "As for these days, Goose is the bearded babe in that relaysh—er, actually, which beard did you mean?" Another strong clue to Jake. And I particularly like this one in answer to how strong is their relationship. "Dear Don't You Know That You're Toxic? Toothy and Goose are the closest to soul mates among this group—at least, I'd like to think so, despite how much each of the guys tries to mess it up (we're looking at you and your strippers this time, Toothy). The other two are yet to stand the test of time, but I'd give Nev and Barr a better chance of lasting than Judas and the BF."
ReplyDeleteDear Ted:
ReplyDeleteBrad Pitt, Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson and even Jake Gyllenhaal have all grown beards this year, so what's going on with the hunks of Hollywood? Is this their way of going on strike against the demands of the PR machine? I don't think the beards become any of them (well, maybe Zac's, last I saw his was neatly trimmed). What's next? Is Toothy Tile going to get a beard too? I wonder what Grey Goose would have to say about that?
—M
Dear No Shave 2010:
It's the fad, doll. All the hottest guys in Hollywood want to be seen as rugged hot instead of pretty boy hot. The beard makes them seem like they care a lot less about their looks (though you know that's totally BS). As for these days, Goose is the bearded babe in that relaysh—er, actually, which beard did you mean?
Dear Ted:
I'm very curious about the status of some of my fave Blind Vicers and would greatly appreciate it if you would try to answer my rambling question. Here goes: Based on the following definitions of love and what you know about the relationships of our fave boy/boy couples, where would you place Toothy/Goose, JJO/DDD and ND/BBM as soul love (strong, dedicated and could last forever), crazy love (obsessive, addictive, on-again, off-again but always there) and toxic love (possessive, needy, dysfunctional chaos). Would these definitions even apply to any of them?
—BellaDonna
Dear Don't You Know That You're Toxic?
Toothy and Goose are the closest to soul mates among this group—at least, I'd like to think so, despite how much each of the guys tries to mess it up (we're looking at you and your strippers this time, Toothy). The other two are yet to stand the test of time, but I'd give Nev and Barr a better chance of lasting than Judas and the BF.
Dear Ted:
I love the Blind Vice Archive thing you've started. Great idea! Your recent list of "It Ain'ts" for Toothy Tile has me a little perplexed though. You listed numerous male celebrities that T.T. is not and right smack dab in the middle of that list you put Nikki Reed? Huh? Was this a simple slip-up or are you trying to say something about that girl?
—BubbleYumSteph
Dear Gender Bender:
Hey, you all are the ones who guessed the poor babe.
Bitch Back
About to take @Aus10Nichols 's nephew to school in Texas. Morning car rides with kids are waaaay #MoreFunThanGossip
ReplyDelete4 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
About to take @Aus10Nichols 's nephew to school in Texas. Morning car rides with kids are waaaay #MoreFunThanGossip
ReplyDelete4 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
What the hell is she even talking about?!? Link is barely 4 years old why would he be going to school? He'd be going to pre-school if anything.
Next time you're trying to do #DamageControl - uhm, #MoreFunThanGossip - at least make sure you know how old your supposed boyfriends nephew is.
Maybe she is taking him to pre-school, there is nothing in her tweet that suggests that she was taking him to grade school.
ReplyDeleteWhat damage control? She has been around his niece and nephew and family enough based on some pics floating around that she wouldn't make that kind of mistake. She knows how old he is.
Saw a pic of her on her bike there as well.
Just because they decided to back off on the cheesey tweets to each other doesn't mean it's over, just ask Ted!
Yeah right, Sophia. I know that's how I use my twitter account. Tell everyone where I am about to embark,(but only when I'm supposedly in Austin, TX). Your desperate need to ship that phony relationship of your is truly pathetic.
ReplyDeleteNow it's Sophia's fault. Whose family lives in TX? Who tweeted that he was going there for the weekend? If she is using her twitter account for that purpose than so is he , they just are trying to tweet the relationship differently. They are on the same page and have the same reps.
ReplyDeleteJust like he gave her private pics of his family so they could be "leaked" via the fake FB or when his fake FB site "leaked" private pics, that was all his doing.
Take off the blinders, at least she isn't leaking private family pics dogs and friends don't count, but I have seen pics of her and his family that had to have come from him.
Just like that bike twicpic she posted from Austin, didn't want to overdue it with the both of them but we get the picture.
They are both tools and PR whores and are playing games.
Struggling with technology as I am trying to finish up today's post. It's coming - promise and worth the wait.
ReplyDeleteBut wanted to make a quick comment. The picture of Sophia on the bike. And she is alone. And more interesting that there is no mention of anyone else biking. And the most interesting thing she put it on her web page and not twitpic'd it. Which is easier to do. It is less steps.
Why is that interesting? Because on Twitpic you could have gotten all the metadata about including the real date and time stamp of the picture. And she has grown up in the photo biz and would know.
The other thing and I think this is actually the most important thing. If you are in a relationship (real, or fake) with someone show them respect. I mean this:
If Austin had chosen not to speak of his niece and nephew on twitter. (He has never spoken of them at twitter at all.) Respect that! It is not your family and it is not for you to decide to talk about what did or did not happen.
Maybe she is taking him to pre-school, there is nothing in her tweet that suggests that she was taking him to grade school.
ReplyDeleteUh huh, sure. Or maybe she meant Ella, but said nephew instead!
School is school, not pre-school. And if you're already trying to dispell rumors then you'd make sure to make that distinction. Because frankly in this case the difference between a plausible lie and a implausible lie are just 4 characters, which would have still fit into the 140 character limit.
And I'm trying to figure out how exactly it is Austins fault that she took his tweets about what he's doing and ran with it.
She is the only one that is consistently copying his tweets and namedrops him, while he stays mum about her supposedly being there.
The pics of him with his niece/nephew were supposedly taken by Sophia and "stolen" from her facebook. Just like the other picture of both of them with the kids were also "stolen" from her. She even said so herself several times on Twitter when people starting calling her out on leaking the pics.
Hmm, what is the common theme here?
All of Sophia's bluster about her fb account being hacked she never took her fb account down which it the first thing you'd think to do.
ReplyDeleteIf you keep it up why don't take all the pictures off of it and not put anymore "private" pictures up if you know the account is not secure and you are waiting for fb to do something about a hacked account.
That's probably what any of the rest of us would have done.
If Austin had chosen not to speak of his niece and nephew on twitter. (He has never spoken of them at twitter at all.) Respect that! It is not your family and it is not for you to decide to talk about what did or did not happen.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly right. All Austin did was indicate he was headed to Texas. He didn't use his niece and nephew as cover, or to try to make his tweet somehow seem more credible.
I agree that Austin and Sophia are both playing games and in this thing together.
ReplyDeleteI think Austin is trying to have his cake and eat it too, and is letting Sophia do more of the heavy lifting in pushing the relationship.
They probably think that it's "girl's work" to talk about relationships.
Oh, and there is that small matter of Austin being low in the balls department.
What the hell is she even talking about?!? Link is barely 4 years old why would he be going to school? He'd be going to pre-school if anything.
ReplyDeleteIt's not at all unusual to refer to pre-school as simply "school." It's done all the time. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about either. Do you think she's not in TX and is making it all up? Or do you think she is in TX but didn't take his nephew to school? Do you think Austin or his family is unable to read tweets? Don't you think that if she says she's in TX and she isn't that they would realize that? Don't you think she knows him and his family better than you do? Wait - don't answer that ... you probably actually do think you know him and his family better, lol.
What exactly do you think they could do if she was lying?
ReplyDeletePost a tweet "My girlfriends tweet about taking my nephew to school that is supposed to disprove the gossip about our relationship breaking up is a lie. Just thought you should know"?
Or how about "The girlfriend of my brother-in-law is actually not in Texas at the time despite what she is saying to prove that she and Austin still spend time together. But no harm done"?
Posting anything about this would immediately put the the whole "relationship" from the beginning on into question. Austin would obviously rather go with just ignoring her instead of causing a small scandal that would also affect him.
Maybe she's there. Or maybe she's just doing what she has done several times before (soccer match Austin had watched earlier still being "so close" according to her when it had already ended, anyone?) and copied his tweets to look like they're spending time together when Austin had once again bailed on the weekend.
LaOD screening in Chicago
ReplyDeleteCHICAGO – In our latest comedy/romance edition of HollywoodChicago.com Hookup: Film, we have 50 admit-two passes up for grabs to the advance Chicago screening of the new film “Love & Other Drugs” with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway! Director Edward Zwick will be in attendance at this screening for an introduction!
To win your free pass to the advance Chicago screening of “Love & Other Drugs” courtesy of HollywoodChicago.com with the director in attendance, just answer our question below. That’s it! This screening is on Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2010 at 6:30 p.m. in downtown Chicago. Directions to enter.
HollywoodChicago.com
StubbornTB is german and perhaps the vernacular is different there - school versus pre-school. But because this took place in Teaxas, Stubborn should know better that to fight about that with other Americans. Stubborn, for the record, if someone is bring a pre-5 year old to "school" it is understood, in this country, they mean PRE school, therefore there's no need to overquantify that remark.
ReplyDeleteThey probably think that it's "girl's work" to talk about relationships.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Destiny. Austin was actively participating in the tweet bandwagon at first, but something seems to have deterred his enthusiasm.
Who cares about semantics. The woman is obviously using the Nichols children in the hopes that no one would ever challenge her veracity. Whether Austin knows what's she's doing or not is irrelevant. She has free will and was the one that executed the tweet. This is not an isolated instance of her exploiting those kids.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do you think they could do if she was lying?
ReplyDeleteYou're completely missing the point because you really are under the delusion that you know Austin/his family better than she does. Don't you understand that Austin and Sophia are really, really good friends? Isn't that obvious to you? Yeah, they are pretending to be romantically involved - but they don't have to pretend to be good friends and they don't have to pretend to enjoy each other's company or pretend to know each other's families. She doesn't need to do anything behind anyone's back, there is no scandal and Austin doesn't need to ignore anything. Everything they do they are in on it together. If Austin thinks she's "exploiting" his family he can speak up for himself privately.
Sophia Bush Sept. 29 talking about not hunting for attention:
ReplyDeleteBut Bush told us it's simply because they stay out of the gossip rags.
"I'm not interested in pursing that life, at all," she 'fessed recently. "We're not hunting for that sort of attention."
"It's just not where my focus is," Sophia told us and, hell, we believe the gal.
Sophia Bush Oct. 04 bringing up Austins nephew and talking about details of her private life:
About to take @Aus10Nichols 's nephew to school in Texas. Morning car rides with kids are waaaay #MoreFunThanGossip
Why is she believable again?
Nice to know you feel compelled to jump to Bush's defense. Once again, I don't really care if she did the tweet behind anyone's back, or not. The fact is that she used those children for her bearding agenda (she typed the tweet not Austin). Therefore, she is the one who is responsible for her actions. Hiding behind Austin's skirt doesn't change a thing.
ReplyDeleteI seriously doubt she'd tweet about Austin's family if it wasn't okay with him, so there's nothing to hide behind.
ReplyDeleteI haven't benn able to figure out what the More Fun than Gossip refers to, although from a casual look it appears to be something to promote OTH, perhaps over Gossip Girl? If so, then they're using Austin's family to promote OTH.
Wasn't Austin complaining about a fake FB which also somehow got a hold of personal photos. Is that fake FB still up?
ReplyDeleteId so why since poor Austin is so concerned with respecting his familys privacy.
Austin doesn't tweet the repationship anymore because Sophia does a better job
Austin doesn't tweet the repationship anymore because Sophia does a better job
ReplyDeleteIf this is an example of a better job, then she really is pathetic. Because this tweet is about as transparent as they come. Reeke coffee runs were better staged.
I can't believe what I'm reading.
ReplyDeleteAustin is going to let Sophia do the tweeting of the fauxmance now. Why? Because she can do it better? Whaaa....he needs to do something else?
Good grief. We've been taken back to the 1950's or something? That sounds an awful lot like a chauvenistic statement to me.
Is this Leave It To Beaver? Because that sounds alot like something Ward Cleaver would do. I think I hear him now from beyond:
"Oh, Juuuuune!!! Can you get this twitter for me, dear? Can you let everyone know what we're doing this weekend? I've got to go play a round of golf with Fred Rutherford."
So now the woman's place is at the Twitter.
Have to agree Sophin has entered Reeke territory with the latest. But technically Sophia didn't lie to the AT since they are not using the tabloids. But I don't think using tweets, AT, charities and lying to fangirls makes you any better. Plus I think they're doing it this way because tabloids are ot interested, and because they think if they don't take it to the level of fame-whoring Reeke did that people will think it is real.
ReplyDeleteMust feel so good to pull one over the eyes of young girls.
I find it ironic that you are making refernces to the 50's PG since you, SK and other posters here are constantly screching about THAT woman and how dare she do fill in the blank. No matter what, it's always her fault, never his. Typical 50's mentality. He's on the clear because he has a penis.
ReplyDeleteShe has his OK to tweet using his family to pimp the relationship because it would look even more tacky and desperate if he did it.
And why is she only tweeting about it? I bet his reps said that he is coming off as a wuss between that and that crappy sensitive Julian crap.
And for the record Austin's tweets atr asanine, juvenile and fratboy, it's best that he limits them now.
I'm not jumping on this one yet, Destiny.
ReplyDeleteI'm not seeing Austin participating in this one yet. There's something funny about his first margarita comment and I'm not convinced at all by that picture of Sophia with her little bike.
He is still using the word "I". He posted first about going to Austin with "I". She's the one doing all the embellishing.
I'm standing by my original thought that those 2 are cold as popsicles until I see proof otherwise.
And just like I asked for a picture of Ice Maiden at Maggie Gyllenhaal's wedding, I'm going to ask for a picture of both Austin and Sophia together in Austin this past weekend.
Oh, and by the way, Reese???
I'm still waiting.
06:14, what does having a dick have to do with the 50's? As far as I know, Adam was born with a dick. Ben Franklin probably had a dick. We know that sure as heck ol' JFK had a dick, maybe two.
ReplyDeleteNeil Armstrong probably has one. Elvis Presley sure as heck had one. And I'm sure Austin has one. In fact, after those Surfrider pictures, I KNOW he sure as heck has one.
So I'm not sure what in the heck you are even talking about with all of this phallic talk.
If I don't want to blame Austin for anything yet, I'm not going to.
Dick or No Dick.
And when I refer to Adam, I'm not talking Latrine. I'm talking about the first ever Adam.
ReplyDeleteSpecial, I sure hope your new post is coming up soon. I'm doing more than my fair share of bringing these down into the sewer.
And just for the record, I've heaped a bunch of crap in Austin's direction.
ReplyDeleteI am choosing not to continue that pattern regarding this past weekend because I'm not convinced that Sophia was in Austin.
Oh, and by the way, here in the Midwest, we do distinguish between preschool and school. Right here in Kansas. There's a big difference and parents make that distinction because no mom wants to rush her little one along that fast. If he/she is still in preschool, Mom/Dad's going to use that term until the very day he or she goes off to kindegarten.
And 18:15, it's Prairie Girl to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat the duck does Reese have to do with this PG?? BTW, Sophia isn't a parent in the midwest so she wouldn't know how to mak the distinction between pre-school and grade shool, school is school.
ReplyDeleteHow can things be cold between them, I thought Ted said that they still were???
So she wasn't in TX, Just Austin was and she was pretending, why? She never bothered before, that jezebel!!!
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ReplyDelete