Tweetenstein

Not only did Mary Shelley write Frankenstein, if she were alive today could have been the Ted's source to yesterday's Awful Truth. Only this time the Frankenstein is not in long form, but in short form, and not made from spare parts of the recently deceased but culling together spare tweets to create a tale stemmed from fear.
Bet you thought it would be Austin’s fivehead that would have started all of this, but no it's Jakey.

So hit the funky blue lights of CSI, fire up the computers and follow the trail: (hint: that means lots of reading, links to click and not a lot of pictures - sometimes it's work - Ha!)

Here we go:

And apparently she's friggin' stunning. Our New York diner scored a table near J.G. and his lady friend at ABC Kitchen, the Jean Georges eatery at the ABC Carpet & Home store, earlier this week.

There were only two days earlier this week that Jake could have been in New York. Sunday or Monday. Well it couldn't have been Sunday because Jake was out to brunch at The Fat Radish.

@eye4style Dina Fierro

Um, yeah, that's Jake Gyllenhaal leaving brunch at The Fat Radish, with someone who clearly resembles a model.

29 Jan via Echofon 12:59EST

And it couldn’t be Saturday because he was at Luna’s. But Saturday was the day with pony tail pic.

Now following the tweets for the rest of Sunday, Jake was at the Sol Moscot eyewear store and then was back on the train before 3:00pm.

And the source said lunch, not brunch so that means it would have to be Monday. Now Monday there was a tweet serving Jake and messing up his order.

@_ShesVINTAGE Tatsnlipstick

I was starstruck seeing jake gyllenhaal eating at my job and I was the one to take care of him!! 30 Jan via Twitter for iPhone 12:57pm EST

"I immediately saw this gorgeous girl because I get girl crushes easily but didn't think anything of it," our babe gushes about Jake's date (whom we're told is an Alessandra Ambrosio look-alike). "She had a fur coat on, a Balenciaga bag and a high pony. Then we sit down and order and my mother notices Jake G. seated with the babe girl."

But apparently not inconspicuous enough, as Jake was approached by a few fans with whom he happily took pictures. And—get ready to awww with us—he apparently went up and talked to another family's kid.

Too friggin' cute!

Talked to another family. Is this another dig at the Toothy lore of him having a family of his own?

"They were leaning close like they were dating," our source gossips to us about the lunchtime couple, who sipped coffee and picked at a piece of cake before getting their shoppin' on.

@_ShesVINTAGE Tatsnlipsticklmao omg I was a mess I got so nervous wen I saw him I messed up his order like 10 times ��“@StonerXGonzalez: @_ShesVINTAGE Lmao You Cool?” 30 Jan via Twitter for iPhone 1:00pm EST

ShesVINTAGE Tatsnlipstick@StonerXGonzalez he had this wtf look on his face lmaoooo 30 Jan via Twitter for iPhone 1:02pm EST

Now if he was there on Monday, how could he eat, take pictures, talk to another family and spend time leaning in sipping coffee, if this possible server who messed up his order 10 times in an hour? Can you really tweet about him at 12:58pm when lunch service doesn’t start at ABC until 12:00pm, that’s less than an hour into service at a very busy restaurant during the lunch rush? Additionally I don’t think you would get so thrown serving Jake if you work at a restaurant that has a steady stream of high profile diners as ABC Kitchen.

Interesting that this fuzzy picture of Jake that was discounted as recent popped up this past weekend too.

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He is there with something that looks like cake on the table with someone next to him that is female. But they are not alone. There seems to be a third person. We also have concluded this is not a recent picture of Jake because of his beard (it’s not as thick now) and Jake’s size (he’s not as thick either, in fact he is quite slender now) And that doesn’t look like lunch time either.

The twosome spent some time meandering through the home goods section of ABC Carpet & Home before checking out the upstairs levels with bed and bath products:

"They were touchy before they got into the elevator," our vigilant spy spills. "They looked happy."

Did this person get up from their table at the same time and follow them from the restaurant all the way through the store? Because how else would they know what department.

Interesting how they want to make it appear that is domestic. One more swipe at Toothy tale.

Then Jake was on his way to England. So when did this happen?

What it really looks like that is this source gather all the random tweets of the past weekend, mashed them together with a sighting of Jake at ABC Kitchen more likely from November 7^th for a booksigning and getting snapped at a distance with Ed Norton than from last week, and pulled in this running thread of Jake and models, together to build Tweetenstein.

Sure that one tweeter who obsessively would ask anyone who saw Jake anywhere if he who he was with and if they were tall, blonde, etc would be all over this moments after it happened.

BJPsez Barbara @Go2therapyDavid Spare the puerile humor and just tell us who he's with? LOL! 14 Nov

BJPsez Barbara @infamousbrian30 @sbellelauren How cool!!! Was he with his Victoria's Secret Model, or his mother? LOL! 14 Nov

BJPsez Barbara @belleslettres omg. He's adorable! who was he with????? Please don't say his mother! LOL! 13 Nov

BJPsez Barbara @JulieVAD OMG! How cool! Details? Plz don't tell me he was with his mother.LOL! 11 Nov

BJPsez Barbara @MarissRosenblum Is he with the Brazilian Victoria Secret supermodel? Brwn eyes, 5'9" very long hair? Or his mother? LOL! 11 Nov

But where are the tweets and the pictures from the restaurant. No one with anyone he posed with?

Interesting to note that Jake has been mentioned with three different Victoria’s Secret models over the past year. If it was true they would have counter the Jake can’t get a date/Minka Kelly story with those exploits and go on to show the game he’s got with all the VS ladies. And they didn’t. In fact Jake doesn’t seem interested in any attention from the ladies at all.

There was Jared talking about Jake not staying long enough to even look at the ladies at the Victoria’s Secret After Party.

@JaredEng Just Jared Jake Gyllenhaal is here at afterparty to support @adamlevine @AnneV. He just plugged his ears and mouthed "so effin loud" and left ha 9 Nov via Twitter for BlackBerry®

And in December at the Jay-Z Kayne West show in LA he didn’t seem interested either.

“At the Staples Center, a bearded Jake Gyllenhaal ignored women trying to get his attention as he danced to Jay-Z and West’s music.” NY Post


Question Time:

What was happening last weekend to get the villagers up in arms and this Tweetenstein showing up later?

A daycare tweet perhaps?

Or was it some (Photo)shopping?

And who would want to take a poke or two at the tale of Toothy and Ted?

Also why was it that this information was shared the day after Ted hinted about Toothy coming out one day, when they knew about this from earlier in the week?

Much thanks to OMG reference services department for all the help.