Today's Out Spotlight is Ed Gray.On the biggest sports day of the year in the U.S. (SuperBowl Sunday) the Spotlight is sports related. And just as there is trepidation, fear and closeting in HW so there is in sports and sports journalism. Ed Gray, a 20 year veteran at the Boston Herald decided the time had come for him, and in October 2003 he changed that with the first two words of his article -" I'm out."
“I didn't strike out. I wasn't thrown out. And above all, I wasn't forced out.
“I'm out because I no longer, in good conscience, choose to ignore the unabashed homophobia that is so cavalierly tolerated within the world of sports. I'm out, because the silence of a closeted gay man only serves to give his implicit approval to bigotry. I'm out, because I refuse to continue hiding from the truth that an openly gay man has as much right as a straight man to play sports or report on them.”
Coming out makes him a rarity in the sports world. Even when Gray professed that it shouldn't be a big deal he knew it was. Sports, both among its participants and its observers, remains the final closet in American life.
Gray, who's regular beat is horse racing, also regular covers the Red Sox, Patriots, and the college football beat, was out to friends and family, but felt “it was the right time". … Everyone has their own personal journey and it was just my time.” There was no one catalyst for the decision to come out publicly, though he felt it important to take on the pervasive homophobia in sports.
“I really don’t want to be silent any more,” “It was really not a hard decision to make.”
His column went on to address the contention that openly gay people can’t function in the macho sports world. He wrote: “In the cases of both a gay athlete and a gay sportswriter, homophobic athletes always come up with the same sorry excuse to justify the perpetuation of prejudice on the basis of sexual orientation -- the locker room.
"I'm out because I can't come up with a single logical reason why I should have denied myself the right to live and work as openly and freely as everyone else," Gray wrote. "Nor should anyone find a reason why an openly gay athlete should be denied the right to play a team sport without fear of becoming a target of prejudice or physical harm."
“What, exactly, does a straight athlete have to fear from a gay teammate or sportswriter? Any man secure in his heterosexuality should not have a care in the world when a gay man is present in the locker room. He is there only to earn a living, not to infiltrate the locker room in a covert operation to ‘convert’ straight athletes. There are infinitely more friendly and healthy environments in which a self-respecting gay man would prefer to explore his sexuality than a locker room full of straight guys. …
“In an effort to justify homophobia, some would claim that an openly gay player would become a distraction that would undermine his team. A media frenzy surely would be created by a player coming out of the closet, but how long would a gay player be such a distraction if all of his teammates rallied around him for the whole world to witness? Professional athletes are role models, and a demonstration of team solidarity would send the profound message: ‘We support our teammate and you should, too.’ ''
While acknowledging that coming out for an active athlete could be difficult, Gray said that no one really know what the reaction would be and says there is a lot of “irrational fear.” He says that everyone, gay and straight, needs to take responsibility for fostering a climate of tolerance, adding that “people are very homophobic in homophobic atmospheres. If people would be held accountable, the issue would disappear very quickly. I truly believe it.”
Reluctant to discuss much about his personal life because “I don’t want my message to be lost. … I don’t want to be perceived as someone trying to get attention. The more I talk about my personal journey, the more it dilutes that.
“I’m just a sportswriter who is gay.”
The reaction to the Gray coming out was overwhelming positive and Gray continues on the Herald Sports staff today.
Happy Groundhog's Day!
And Happy SuperBowl Sunday!
Nice Spotlight. Big step for a sports journalist to come out. It is also nice to hear that Ed hasnt experienced any repercussions since he made his decision. Sometimes I wonder if just the fear of Homophobia is bigger than the actual reality of it. If a beloved teammate came out would he really risk harm. Of course we will never know until a prominent athlete takes the plunge. I think the bigger risk would be in endorsements. As in HW it is all about money and the biggest issue with coming out in HW or sports is the loss of income. Everyone believes America will turn their back on a gay leading man or sports star. Until people have the courage no one will know for sure.
ReplyDeleteOf course Martina did come out and I am sure it cost her a tons of money. It would be interesting to see a comparision between Martina's and Chris Everts's lifetime endorsement revenue. That was a long time ago now and I think Martina is beloved just as much as Chris.
What would happen today if Sharpova or Venus came out or Tiger or Michael Phelps came out?
What would happen if Johnny Depp or Leonardo came out? What would happen if Obama came out? Just thinking about it is fasinating. I hope I live to see the day.
So quiet in here. I feel like it is the quiet before the storm. I just hope we have had the peak of the reeke joke shoved down our throats.
ReplyDeleteWhich baseball heartthrob may be playing for the other team? He secretly slides into bed with Florida fellas. [NYDN]
ReplyDeleteGreat spotlight for Super Bowl Sunday. I never thought about sportswriters not being out for fear of repercussions. As bad as we think HW is, sports are a lot worse.
ReplyDeleteMy guess on the baseball heartthrob is Jeter, been rumors about him for years.
Great spotlight Spec. never knew about Ed Gray. [maybe he's Gray Goose LOL] btw this interview was in 2003? 6 years ago. Has it changed musch I wonder.
ReplyDeleteI feel like it is the quiet before the storm. I just hope we have had the peak of the reeke joke shoved down our throats.
ReplyDeleteTom ITA but there a poet/writer [can't remember his name] who says "February is the cruelest month".
Wow - I had no idea about this, interesting. Congrats to Ed Gray! He's right about the whole thing, the fear, being so irrational. Things are changing.
ReplyDeleteLiving in Boston - have heard tons of great music and can forget them - Cars, Pixies, Sonic Youth (North Hampton), Mission of Burma, Buffalo Tom, Julia Hatfield, Letters to Cleo, Lemonheads, Mighty Mighty Bostones, and how of course DropKick Murphys.
Loved our music chat yesterday. I had forgotten about Boston music! I always feel lucky living so close to an area with such a vibrant music scene. I have The Lemonheads' Into Your Arms as a standard on my playlist, love it, and I love Buffalo Tom, the Pixies, Juliana Hatfield and Mission of Burma. Like today's music too. Thanks, Spesh!
Enjoy SuperBowl Sunday! :)
February is the cruelest month.
ReplyDeleteI hope not, Chris! ;)
T. S. Eliott
ReplyDeleteChris! You doomsday-er, you!
ReplyDeletelol
Hey, is anyone interested in a chat session sometime today? Know it's Super Bowl Sunday & all, so I know that time is off limits. But I read a comment this morning elsewhere about Austin that was interesting/caught my eye not in a good way. I know, I'm sure it is probably nothing. But in light of last week, that's why it caught my eye. Just need somebody to totally dismiss this thing for me!
Anyway, if not, that's okay too. But I'm proposing a short called session of OMG chat to whoever is interested.
Has anyone seen the news about Iceland? They have just appointed the world's first female prime minister. She's also gay. How about those apples? That's great.
And congratulations to the KC Chiefs newly elected to the NFL Hall of Fame - Derrick Thomas. Yeaaaaaa!! Derrick #58 was one of the best. I'm so happy about that.
Wow, Ed Gray's words are some of the most inspiring words I've read, but then even a sports writer is expected to have a gift for words.
ReplyDeleteDoes not sound like the Fincher deal drew a big crowd. I read that they gave away tickets and it was still not full. There was a time when it would have been SRO just because Jake was there.
I am going to try to see Slumdog during this week. My only hesitation has been Boyle's Trainspotting. I loved that movie but some of the images in it haunt me to this day.
Are felt fedoras the latest fad or are actors "trying out" for a Elliot Ness/1940s/Bogie-like role? Funny how a lot of male actors are out and about in them, for ex Hugh Jackman in NY yesterday, Jake on Friday etc.
ReplyDeletePG I'm game but don't know if I can help you LOL.
ReplyDelete"Does not sound like the Fincher deal drew a big crowd. I read that they gave away tickets and it was still not full. "
ReplyDeleteEconomic crisis, people have other things to think!
"Are felt fedoras the latest fad or are actors "trying out" for a Elliot Ness/1940s/Bogie-like role?"
I would like an other Jake/fincher partnership to be honest. Why not Elliot Ness!!
snicker. Now watch. We'll go to the chatroom and I'll mess up my logon, won't be able to get on, and won't be able to share what I read.
ReplyDeleteHad just a fantastic walk this morning. After chatting with this senior couple that I've seen out there/visited with regularly for the past couple years, I purchased an aluminum walking stick like she has. He has always carried a putter; I thought he was just a golfer. But he said he carries it for protection. Geez. And now she carries this walking stick. I was telling them about DFord and they started lecturing me left & right about walking alone, going into the area I've been going into, not locking my car, gosh, I was worn out from scolding. They knew exactly who I was talking about. But anyways, got a walking stick now - it's pretty cool.
Oh! And finally, to end this one mindless comment, I was perusing through magazines @ Borders again. This is kinda funny as we were talking about this yesterday. I was flipping through one & saw a big picture of the Beckhams somewhere. And anyway, David Becks had a big ol' muffler/scarf on, wrapped around his neck Jakestyle. Then I go down a ways, and on the cover of a magazine called "Instinct", the guy on the cover was the spittin' image of such scarf wrapping. Exact replica, lol. I wanted to point it out to somebody, "Hey, look, just like...." but of course, nobody would've gotten it. lol. So I just had to admire it by myself. Anyway, Chris, that magazine Instinct? I think it's a male gay publication. It was with the Advocate and a couple others that I can't remember right now, but had distinguishable names.
Okay, Chris is in! We'll give it some time. It won't take long - we can even set the eggtimer, lol.
ReplyDeleteI need a rose colored spectacle wearer, hint hint, then, since Chris cannot seem to guarantee soothing my ruffled curiosity.
PG where are you?
ReplyDeletecalling you
ReplyDeleteAnd just cause I'm sure most people might be going to a Super Bowl watching party or just want to watch the game in peace, what time is that thing usually over? How about immediately following the game? That way, everyone can go about their business today.
Everyone in favor, say aye.
lol
So, because I need to go to Sears now & whatnot, how 'bout that? Or is that too late? Hope not. Someone hollar if it is.
oh, change in plans. going in now!
ReplyDeleteoh, change in plans. going in now!
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, David Becks had a big ol' muffler/scarf on, wrapped around his neck Jakestyle.
ReplyDeleteThe question was posed in yesterday's Daily Telegraph Letters column by a reader who inquired why half of London's young men were wearing their scarves knotted like women.
How should men wear a scarf?
One thing I've always lamented not seeing in full (i've seen grainy bits) is a movie Todd Hayes made about Karen Carpenter and her struggle with anorexia using barbie dolls
ReplyDeleteI saw this film in theaters, Dest. Really disturbing.
Puppy Bowl is on right now!
First mention of PoP poster in Confessions.
ReplyDelete"And since this is after all a Bruckheimer movie, a special shout-out for the special effects. These mannequins were just superbly done and they really scared the guys. Yes, I saw this movie with 3 guys. They were very impressed with the Prince of Persia poster. I mean, very, very impressed. They’ll tell you all about it, I’m sure."
PoP poster in Confessions
Go Cards!
ReplyDeleteMark Webb said...
ReplyDeleteOur Secrets Make Us Sick
Throughout the course of a lifetime we face all types of situations. Some of them are more difficult than others. Some examples might be emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, the loss of a loved one through death, divorce, rape, having had an abortion or any time involving neglect or mistreatment. When these kinds of situations occur, we find ourselves struggling with anger, sadness, fear, resentment, pain, hurt, guilt, grief and shame. Sometimes we feel that these emotions are too painful or too frightening to deal with so we hold onto them, hoping they will go away but they do not.
Whether we are aware of it or not, these unresolved situations, "these secrets," are eating away at us. They affect our self-esteem, happiness, and relationships with friends and family. They cause problems with our sleep, appetite, concentration and energy level. Anxiety and physical problems such as ulcers and headaches can be symptoms of these secrets. All kinds of problems which keep us from being the person we dream of being begin to grow as a result of not dealing with the feelings associated with the situation.
We may strive to divert our attention through overworking, drugs, alcohol and withdrawal from those around us, anything that will help us and protect us from these secrets. By not talking about the situation and by holding onto these feelings, we are draining ourselves of energy which could be invested in more positive and healthy outlets. In other words, we are giving the "secret" power over us. Some of us learn to do this while growing up. We learn to withhold our unacceptable feelings and we act according to what we think we ought to be rather than what is. Living this way keeps people from really knowing us.
Being asked to share our secrets can be very frightening. What will happen if I share my secret? Will I lose control? Will my family abandon me? Will my friends reject me? It is these kinds of fears which keep us from ever sharing our secrets and they keep us from experiencing the kind of happiness we desire. We often resist growth by saying that the feelings are just too painful to deal with. Another way we resist is by saying, "What good will it do, I'll never forget what happened." By speaking the unspeakable, we take the power away from the secrets. The truth frees us from the painful feelings. This is what leads us to growth and happiness. This is an important part in therapy.
It is these kinds of fears which keep us from ever sharing our secrets and they keep us from experiencing the kind of happiness we desire.
ReplyDeleteInteresting hypothesis posted at 6:22 pm. It is also perhaps these same kinds of fears, which drive us to seek a path and escape from our own tribulations - by trying to rationalize secrets and unhappiness that do not have any bearing in our lives. Tarry a little: I too am guilty, as charged :)
Rattler you sound like Dany. Speak English please. or in other words what the f are you talking about.
ReplyDeleteHe's telling us that we shouldn't invest so much time in analyzing Jake pics because our efforts are really deep seeded feelings of inadequacy in our own lives, and could not possibly reap any social redeeming benefits.
ReplyDeleteIt's a wonder how we, simpletons that we are, all manage to make it through the day without Rattler's sage advice.
I keep reading everyone saying how sad Jake looks. I think he looks fine. I hate the hat but I'm glad he shaved.
ReplyDeleteWicked you've always been a fan of clean close shave.
ReplyDeleteJust for comparison's sake let's put the latest pics of Jake at the Fincher soiree next to the ones of Cannes for "Zodiac". Both on the red carpet, so to speak, both public events where cameras were snapping and people were milling and excitment was in the air. Granted the former was definitely more low key, but in essence the events were the same, to promote a film.
ReplyDeleteEven the fencepost could tell that Jake was buoyant in France. Can you say the same for Santa Barbara?
Can you honestly say that there is no difference?
Jake is happy with life, madly in love with Reese and content with a great career. Solid.
ReplyDeleteYa know, Clay Aiken was saying the very same thing, Lainey, oh, about two years ago. (Not the Reese part, of course, since even Gaykin had the chutzpah not to beard). In fact, he would go on and on, life was wonderful, career running smoothly, things just couldn't get better!
ReplyDeleteAnd, where is Clay now?
With his boyfriend.
The transcipts of Neil Patrick Harris' interviews pre-coming out also read the same. As does Lance Bass', David Hyde Pierce and Elton John even married a woman.
And where are the all now?
That's right! Happy with life, content in their careers, and madly in love with their MALE partners.
And here's the moral of this story:
People in the closet lie.
Congrats to the Steelers, SuperBowl XLIII champs!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I must say, Arizona played a great game, I was cheerign for them - Yay for Larry Fitzgerald! My own personal MVP. But congrats to the Steelers anyway. One of the better Superbowls IMO. Loved Bruce, and the Budweiser Clydesdale commercials, especially the "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" one. ;)
It was a great Super Bowl, and even though I was rooting for the Cards, I like the Steelers too.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you about Fitzgerald, he's an amazing player, and easy on the eyes too.
. . . he's an amazing player, and easy on the eyes too.
ReplyDeleteIs he evah, on both counts! Now we have to wait until next year. Oh well. Good nite! ;)
I have observed Jake's countenance during TIFF 2007 in close proximity. Toronto. Cannes. Santa Barbara. IMO, there is no difference.
ReplyDeleteThere is a slight difference. He's deeply happy and far more content now--all thanks to Reese who's a gem to him particularly when he was trying to get over Heath's death.
ReplyDeletePretentious git detector, good 'translation' but then why getting so defensive? Rattler, nice to see at least one has the gust to tell it as it is.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a Rattler fan :) but I think there is a difference in Jake's face, so much so that I find it difficult to look at pics of him now. There are also observable changes to his behaviour. I agree that rationalising can be a kind of displacement activity (of which I am also guilty). I would call it displacement rather than replacement.
ReplyDeleteBut I read a comment this morning elsewhere about Austin that was interesting/caught my eye not in a good way. I know, I'm sure it is probably nothing. But in light of last week, that's why it caught my eye. Just need somebody to totally dismiss this thing for me!
ReplyDeleteDismissed?
Prairegirl, could you share what you read about Austin and where did you read it? Thanks!
ReplyDelete