But just can't help myself as I read it.
I got my hair jelly. PO made. Not Fop.
I'm a Dapper Dan Man. Three different hair
styles and three costume changes in one day.
Thinking Everett? Or this Dapper Dan?
Throw an apple in the car. A tangerine. A Clif Bar. Cashews. Anything in the pantry to munch on while en route.
Pantry? Cute like a grandpa
I'm also piloting a car on the 405 freeway,
Think of hands on the wheel and wishing he could fly
Throw the jeans in the back seat. Grab the black slacks.
Slacks...like an old man in Boca
Oh shit, I'm not wearing underwear. joining the club?
I wonder if anyone can see me. I look to my right. Two girls in a Prius. Both in stitches. Chuckling like hyenas.
Shenzi and Banzai
Hybrid Hyenas. Good band name.
They can see everything God gave me.
I turn bright red. No. That's a lie. I smile. (broad as a barn)
I loved it. Nudist. Exhibitionist. I hit the gas. They gave me a farewell honk.
A Tobias Fünke he's not.
Thank you, Joan Didion.
Lit Man do you read The White Album and listen to it too?
I drift back to unexpected driving nudity.
What would have happened if I was driving
through West Hollywood when
I had to switch trousers?
Brilliant! --
Agree with everyone. Saying more than what is said and the delight in doing so.
Arrive at destination. No place to park. Shit, I'm late.
Drive around until someone leaves. Pull in.
Don't pay meter yet. Will pay in a second.
Quick rehearsal.
A small Korean woman walks by my car. Inside the car, she sees a tall, naked man,
crying and yelling intenesely[sic] into the rearview mirror.
I was just about to pay...
almost lyrical, don't know why
(smiles wide) Good mornin, sugar. I am so sorry. I was
just about to throw a couple quarters in your meter.
I apologize for my semi-nudity. I've had a crazy
morning. You know how it is.
Smooth like Southern Sweet Tea or is that Bourbon?
Meter Maid
If you think you're gettin out of this, you are sorely
mistak... Wait a minute... Were you in The Day After Tomorrow?
Grinning.
But grinning because
He got out the ticket?
He got recognized?
Or is there just something about that movie that make him grin......alot?
Hey Guero
Yeah Bro?
Hehehe, footlong?
Beck
OMG Special , one of your best! "Slacks like an old man in Boca" LOL
ReplyDeleteI like his use of the term pantry, such a sweet old fashioned word (also wonder who makes sure the pantry is full of Austin's favourite munchable snacks!).
ReplyDeleteThese blog entries just make him sound more and more endearing and interesting don't they.
Those two little blond boys are too cute for words!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course jake without underwear, ahhh I should get rid of my fangirl"microbe", too embarassing sometimes.
"What a great idea. Jake and Austin in The Bodyguard. Actually someone recently started an AU slash story with a similar theme, but it's one of those where weeks pass before a new chapter appears. May never see another one. I like the idea though."
Talking about slash , I wonder where can I read interesting stories about these two if there are, I wasn't into slash with real person before but with them I can't help I fear !
"a farewell honk."
ReplyDeleteWonder if the Goose hunk honked back?
I must admit, I had a Dapper Dan and a Dressy Bessy when I was little, and the Dapper Dan Man was my favorite.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Austin got to catch "The Year of Magical Thinking" the one woman show that Vanessa Redgrave gave an incredible performance as Joan Didion.
ReplyDeleteTed's letter o'the week:
ReplyDeleteDear Ted:
What's up with all the vacation pics of Jake G. and Robert Downey Jr.? Any insight you care to share? Love the column!
Anonymous
Dear Brotherly Scared:
Why they're the new Lance and Matthew, haven't you heard?
Ohhhhh Elinor. You have no idea the stories that are out there. Ha! Ask m, Orchid, myself, & Destiny!
ReplyDeleteOne of the forums available is listed here on OMG in the Blog Archive: Dave Cullen Forum. I think you have to register there, but it's no big deal to do that. Then you go to Slash Links and they have the stories categorized two ways: by author or by title. These are all in Live Journal.com, I think. You have stories about Jack Twist & Ennis Del Mar, some based on the original story or some called Au!Au!'s. AUAU's are stories about Jack & Ennis but they're in completely different universes: like doctors, lawyers, Amish, private investigators, you name it. Then they have what you're looking for which are stories about Jake & Austin. There aren't as many of those, I don't think though. Alot are about Jake & Heath. Those are called RPL's (but I can't remember why they're called that). I can help you out some more if you need, okay? There are some really well written stories out there. Most are pretty darn explicit and alot have bad language.
m, did you see where madlori got her book called Zero at the Bone published and it's going to be coming out soon? Did you see the cover? That cover is cool.
And get this. I recently read one & I can't remember the name of it right off hand, but it was only about 5-6 chapters. It was great, though, and she had last posted a chapter in 2006, I think. Well, I emailed her because I was devestated where it left off. And she emailed me right back the next morning & said she was going to definitely finish it. Her name was Gilrain55 or something like that. She had reasons for the long lapse. Was going to work on it now since she had to finish another story first. And planetgal recently posted a Ch. 15 to something about Light of the Towering Dark. And it had been well over a year since the last chapter of that one. I emailed her, too, because she's one of the co-authors of This Land is Your Land, one of my all time favorites. I didn't realize that was her.
Anyway, sorry, everybody for all the off-topic here.You know the deal - just scroll.
"the new Lance and Matthew" ?? Gee Ted thanks for being even more obtuse.
ReplyDeleteBitch Back!
ReplyDeleteDear Ted:
OK, I get it. Your lawyers won't let you respond to me. Can you just tell me if Toothy Tile's last name starts with an A?
—K.B., Houston
Dear Alphabetter:
Uh, no.
Well, work is just stressville today so I gotta get off now.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Meg, his blogging really puts some personality in there. I know it's not real revealing, but you'd be surprised sometimes what blogging reveals as opposed to an interview. I'd be curious as to how much he is enjoying doing it and if it has opened up any new revelations to himself.
Oh, I know what I wanted to say. Elinor, The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies. I must've seen it at the theatres when it came out over 10 times, I'm not kidding. A friend, my sister, & I can sit & watch it, and recite line after line after line. I was obssessed with that movie!
m, you're right. Somebody did start a story loosely based on it. Jack Twist was a rock star and Ennis was the bodyguard, but I don't think it got very far.
Anyway, that's enough out of me. Everyone have a great afternoon. We started out this morning over 65 degrees and my superv. just said it's now 38 with a windshield of 29. Brother!
Great post today. Thankfully for us Austin is no Tobias.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think of this guy? I can't figure out if he's gay, bi, straight, seems gay but he thinks Reeke is real or doesn't want to say? Michael Musto
ReplyDeleteFunny because Musto has Blinded Itemed and hinted at Jake being less than straight, so much so that when he interviewed Maggie once, he wasn't even allowed to mention anything about Jake at all.
ReplyDeleteBut reading through comments to the link you posted, even Musto,responds and calls himself on it and says not the best example for the story.
But what is really interesting about the whole article either one or both people in all of those couples Musto mentions have had chatter about their orientation.
Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess?
ReplyDeleteIt's decision time. What will our A-/B+ movie actor do? Will he choose the barely a celebrity friend or will he choose his A list actress friend? While the barely a celebrity celebrity friend doesn't mind sharing, it seems that our A list actress does. She doesn't want the bad publicity that the barely a celebrity friend brings and have it damage her A list career or squeaky clean image. Oh, and she especially doesn't want to have to answer questions or be ridiculed if certain pictures ever see the light of day. (CDAN)
Jakey, Reese and Austin Nichols?
Dlisted
Fabulous post today. It's so cool to see how Austin thinks. I hope he starts blooging more frequently now that he is between jobs. At work so more will have to wait till later.
ReplyDeleteI love Austin blogging. What a great way to get some more insight into the way he thinks. Guess both J&A are exhibitionists. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Special. Your take on things always makes me laugh.
I read Musto on a regular basis. The people he covers are very different than the typical HW gossip columnist. He's very connected to the NY club scene and regularly writes about those people as well as downtown artists and people working in theater, and those are probably his main sources. He also often interviews people on pr junkets. I don't recall him writing about Jake, or certainly not in years.
ReplyDeleteI like his use of the term pantry, such a sweet old fashioned word
ReplyDeleteAustin uses many old fashioned terms. Remember him referring to himself as a "young buck?"
I do remember Maggie refusing to talk about Jake with Musto. I don't usually read his blind items because he does a whole column of it, and in such sparing detail that it's almost impossible to guess. So if Jake was the subject of them I wouldn't know. He tends to write more about people he's interviewing rather than being the type of gossip columnist Ted is.
ReplyDeleteI remember Musto doing something that either said Jake or hinted that is was Jake right before that interview. I can't remember if it was about something in the village or at a club that Musto was at.
ReplyDeleteBob and Jack
ReplyDeleteOh Thanks you very much Prairie Girl for your help.
ReplyDeleteI think first, I am going to register on DC foum and I will see if I find my hapiness lol
No doubt Jake/Heath slash are the most written ,but Jake / Austin is better IMO lol
I really love Bodyguard too , so romantic!
"m, you're right. Somebody did start a story loosely based on it. Jack Twist was a rock star and Ennis was the bodyguard, but I don't think it got very far."
Humm Maybe I will start by this one!
Hey Elinor, an old community, but has a few stories-
ReplyDeleteJaustinslash
Thanks for the link!!
ReplyDeleteIron Chef Cat Cora and Partner Both Pregnant with the Other's Baby
ReplyDeleteIron Chef Cat Cora and her partner Jennifer Cora are both pregnant, according to an excerpt from OK! magazine Cat posted to her MySpace blog:
"Iron Chef's Cat Cora has a bigger surprise than the unveiling of her secret ingredient on her hit Food Network show; She's expecting her third--and fourth--sons! 'It's really crazy!' the chef, 41, tells OK! Most unusual, Cat will give birth three months after her partner, Jennifer Cora, 37. 'We decided that having them a year apart is harder than having kids as infants together,' Cat says of their planned pregnancies. Their four children have the same sperm donor but Cat says, '[Jennifer] carried my embryo and I carried hers. It's like surrogating, but obviously all of our kids are equal.'
Congratulations to the Coras!
Happy thought: Maybe Jake and Austin were trying out their new bikes before a trip?
ReplyDeleteAustin's Monday Nude Driving blog (lol) was "Posted by Kelly Tenney at 3:16 PM" 3:16 being NC time, 12:16 CA time, too early to be a day of 3 auditions with 1 hour driving between each and writing it, ya know what I mean? Nude Driving probably happened last week not yesterday! And why did someone else have to post his blog? He's done it before, knows how, so why not this time. No pics of Jake or Austin, a vacation, trip, very possible. Maybe Jaustin is near Egypt or ANYWHERE having a good time before Jake has to bite the annoying chinntzy PR bullet.
ReplyDeleteDid you know today's OMG post is listed on SGothic site as linked to the post? Which is probably automatic, right? But still if Austin/SGothic doesn't know about OMG before, they do now.
ReplyDelete^^well, nobody on OTH knew where he spent his weekends.
ReplyDeleteMom and Poppa G House is finally sold to Conan's drummer
ReplyDeleteHis 2/ post was posted by hilarie and his 2/25 post was posted by Kelly.
ReplyDeleteDid you know today's OMG post is listed on SGothic site as linked to the post? Which is probably automatic, right? But still if Austin/SGothic doesn't know about OMG before, they do now.
ReplyDeleteIt's automatic if you enable that feature on your blog, yes.
I drift back to unexpected driving nudity.
ReplyDeleteWhat would have happened if I was driving
through West Hollywood when
I had to switch trousers?
Sounds like a bit of a homphobic remark to me. Maybe I am wrong The guys favorite move was Brokeback Mountain and he did have a part inPrayers for Bobby. So I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and beliveing that was a bit of wishful thinking.. Such say it Austin or you straight or gay.
Dear Ted:
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with all the vacation pics of Jake G. and Robert Downey Jr.? Any insight you care to share? Love the column!
Anonymous
Dear Brotherly Scared:
Why they're the new Lance and Matthew, haven't you heard?
Wow. That's pretty bold of Ted, but he has said before that Jake has hooked up with other guys, so I guess Austin is ok with this latest pairing. Pretty hot image too.
No way yum.
ReplyDeleteI love Michael Mustos follow up comments. If he actually made them. But they actually sound real.
ReplyDeleteNo way what? You don't think Austin is ok with it?
ReplyDeleteWe know Austin used buck in speaking, I wonder if he uses other old-fashioned words when speaking, or if the word choices in his blog were just for literary effect. And if the former, did he pick up such language from his family, or is it a carryover from all the reading.
ReplyDeletePantry is old-fashioned, but his house might actually have one of those walk-in pantries.
No one thought Lance and Matthew hooked up with each other, if anything the rumor was that it was Jake and Lance. I think Ted's point is more that it is a gay man (Jake, Matthew) hanging out with someone bisexual or maybe gay (RDJ, Lance).
No one thought Lance and Matthew hooked up with each other
ReplyDeleteEveryone was talking about Lance and Matt hooking up with each other. There were plenty of comments about those two here as well. And Ted has basically come out and said it in past columns. You only have to google their names together and you're hit with over a hundred thousand links websites talking about them.
Driving nude. LOL. Now, is that with leather seats, I wanna know?! We need sound effects!!
ReplyDeletesnicker!
Boy, I haven't gotten far at all on anything today. Had to work late, so that pushed the walk back. Oh man. It was freezing!! I didn't have my mittens, only my thin sport gloves. My mask wasn't in my bag so I had to try & draw my neck gator up over my mouth. Windgusts of 24 mph out of the NW and it was Brutal!! Criminetley's. My hands didn't warm up til I was halfway through.
Well, it's a very short night. I'm so sleepy, it's not funny. So I'm going to bid adieu and say that I hope everyone has had a lovely evening. And has sweet dreams tonight.
Special, I forgot to tell you earlier that your "re-entry" line was hilarious. Re-entry. That's a great way of putting it. Sounds like something out of Star Trek. lol.
Captain's Log. March 10, year 2009.
"Young buck" is a phrase thrown around a lot in gay speak, in a friends teasing, jousting each other way. Hear it all the time along with Big Mary, big gurl, twinkletoes etc.
ReplyDeletePantrys old fashioned?! Maybe to youse guys in the East. Here they're the latest staple feature in homes built or remodeled the past 10 years. Walk-ins like mini closets, lots of shelves. Gotta have a place to store all the feeds-an-army economy size Costco crap bought for that dieting family of four. Pantrys are great, a cozy little spot that has a door, just a few steps away in the kitchen if you need to uh, show someone something. Not as obvious as a bedroom or a bathroom. And if anyone comes in, well, you were checking out the soup selection! They're always the happening place at home parties around here. I'm sure Austin and Jake have christened many pantys!
PANTRYS! Altho I'm sure they've done many pantys too.... OMG what a misspell.....holy shit LOL.
ReplyDeletePantrys are a staple in CA, so that did not register as old fashioned to me either, but Austin does use his own unique words. I think we've talked about "ladies" a few times. Whatever, his post was great, today's OMG post just as great. Just give me more, lot's more.
ReplyDeleteI am very happy. UPS just dropped off my BluRay Brokeback Mountain and Milk. Thank you amazon.com Pre-orders always arrive on the day of release. Will have to wait for the weekend to watch them though. I am late making a movie club suggestion, but Milk is now out on DVD. I suggest we put that on the list. Also, DC forum newsletter today had a link to the 25 gay themed must-see movies. I was surprised how many of them I've seen and that the ones I've seen are all with gay males, no lesbians. I guess I was drawn to slash without even knowing it. We can use that list as a reference as well. Maurice, Wedding Banquet and Laundrette were on it so we are ahead of the game.
I am running on forever here but one more thought. In one of the biking pics, Jake's helmet is off and his hair is mussed. There were bedhead pics of him a few days earlier. I bet they had been biking that day as well, among other things.
Slacks.... come on does anyone under 60 wear slacks? I get trousers but slacks?
ReplyDeleteSlacks are what the lady's who buy Alfred Dunner separates wear. You know those sweatshirt /sweaters with the zipper so it doesn't mess up there wash and set?
But I have to say I am impressed if Austin got a pair of Levi's off while driving over 70 on the 405, cause you know there was a potential for danger if you are trying to lift up to slide your anything past your butt. Ouchie if it was stop and go.
Now Tommy Lee can toot the horn on the boat, is Austin saying he can steer the car with ... uhmmm ? ; )
I think Ted's point is also that they're supposed to look like a couple of straight guys hanging out together. Also, the vacation bit is not a reference to them vacationing together, there's no evidence of that, but rather to all the family pictures of Reeke with the kids and RDJ with his family---I feel like I've seen an awful lot of pictures of RDJ being a family man, something you never used to see from him.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Ted, Grey Goose has had a lot of practice undressing in cars.
ReplyDelete(Slaps forehead) I didn't even think of that. :-D
ReplyDeleteAnd getting dressed in cars even faster!
ReplyDeleteAccording to Ted, Grey Goose has had a lot of practice undressing in cars.
ReplyDeleteAnd getting dressed in cars even faster!
The Mystery of The Too Long Pants Solved.
Its interesting that all the pix show Jake and Austin riding next to each other in the bike lane.
ReplyDeleteHey I need my pants back!
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean slacks Mr. Highwater?
ReplyDeleteYou talkin to me, Trailer Trou?
ReplyDeleteFirst it was the Moonshine now you show the Mountain Dew?
ReplyDeleteBottoms up if you want me to Shasta you.
ReplyDeleteDapper Dan = Dapper Don
ReplyDeleteYou'll find us in all the right places.
ReplyDeleteWe're in a tight spot Jakey!
ReplyDeleteQ: If there were going to be a movie about you, who would play you?
ReplyDeleteA: Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal
Hey Jake, Todd Eldredge wants you to get your skate on!
Can I just say that I would love beyond belief for Jake to play Todd Eldredge!
ReplyDeleteP. S. Todd was really good at Stars on Ice last weekend.
Is Todd gay/bi/straight? Said he was divorced but that can mean anything. I looked it up Google, but didn't say much only rumors.
ReplyDeleteIs Todd gay/bi/straight?
ReplyDeleteI've never heard anything to suggest Todd is other than straight.
Interesting article- Gay youth encouraged to apply for White House internships
Today is John Barrowman's birthday!
ReplyDeleteAnybody else find it interesting that Jake seems to have no professional commitments right now and is not with the General, and in fact, is nowhere to be found?
ReplyDelete