To: Jake
From: Management
Re: PDA plan
As previously determined PDA will be engaged at the Barnes & Noble (you both will receive a 20% friends and family discount on anything purchased) Location is key. While maximizing visibility, the right location is crucial. Remember: Location, Location, Location
Women's Studies is not kind of women studies we want you making out by, we want more like the variety of magazines with women on the front that men say they are buying for the articles.
It is risky can alienate women, men and even your date.
No PDA near SI competitors that includes FHM, and Maxim. Good for selling the faux, but risky if the model on the front is a competitor/prettier/skinnier/blonder/etc than your date.
Avoid the self help section, gender studies, and how-to books - Rife for snark.
Think again about the romance section because while it might fit well, it can make it look like a giant pink anvil hitting people over the head. The mystery section should be avoided because of the potential subliminal suggestion about you hiding something.
Classical literature is a good choice, but no Doctor Faustus.
Military history and Automobile sections are more acceptable areas for public displays of affection. Spirituality - ok, making out near religious texts - no. Health and Fitness - good, Home Decorating - no. Cooking and baking are a push.
General interest magazines, new releases, and best sellers best bets with high foot traffic and visibility.
Sections completely off limits are:
Parenting
LGBT literature
Children's section
Family planning
and the book, DVD, or CD of Free to Be You and Me.
Instore Starbucks doesn't count. - You're not even trying to put any effort into it.
Please text the office when you arrive and then text again when you begin your PDA so our "shoppers" will be alerted to look and tweet.
Jakey you could just avoid all of this and go to Borders (with a tall Texan). Then you could make out anywhere you want, no one would mind.
Not one bit.
