Via cellphone (hands free of course - not breaking any laws, officer )
Am I on speaker phone? Ok good, now you just listen and drive I'll do all talking.
We have some good news and some bad news. Well you know that Jake is in Morocco working, and you've been seen around town with Atticus instead. Yeah yeah good coverage. Well Atti has come down with tail drop and got a little crazy with some "Paw"ty mix and is spending some down time out away from the cameras.
Now don't worry, don't worry, we've gotten this taken care of.
Think strong, rugged, sharp chiseled features, big, totally makes you look like the tiny wisp of a thing you are, well known worldwide, instantly recognizable. Sounds good right?
Won't say much. Will go along with anything. Use to all the cameras, believe me.
Sounds perfect don't worry. Now go, go get ready. Think fun fabulous fearless. Maybe a little Sporty Spice.
Jake? Jake's fine with this, actually he suggested it.
Just meet at the usual meet up place we use around 10:30 do little stroll and then you can go. It'll get picked up for the 3 o'clock east coast media deadline, promise you'll get three mentions, yes yes the movie too and we'll throw Jake's name. Later. (click, dial tone)
"And if you had a hand I wouldn't need this would I?"
