X-rayted

So Dr? what do you think?

I think your right, classic case of Big Ass Head.

I prefer to call it a 'fivehead', easier to break to the patient, and less to type in the EMR.

Looking at his records he also has LAS, Long Arm Syndrome.

Poor Bastard

And you Doctor?

Oh he's hot.

Do you see some type of infection? In the sinus perhaps?

No. Hot, as in hot in here hot.

Is that your professional opinion?

Look at him. The cheek. The jaw. The chin. Don't notice the fivehead.

Residents.

But you do concur it's a fivehead?

Yes Doctor, but he's still hotter than anything else in the building.

Doctor make sure you note all that in the EMR.

Yeah you do that.

Hey we have a case coming in, they want us to look at a very prominent Mandible.

Suspected JLS?


Diagnostic Report:

Diagnosis:


Verified Result
OMG Medical Center
Department of Radiology

NAME :
MRN: 1134967 SEX: M ACT: 000063880918
DOB: 4/30/1980 LOCATION: 3NO 361 B
ORDER: 3428471 REQ SER: 3NO RESULT ID/ADDENDUM: 2357950/0
ADMITTING PHYSICIAN:
REQUESTING PHYSICIAN:

7/30/2009 14:15


HISTORY: Head seems to attract objects with beaconlike quality

Head size is >98% ( above average) . Above average frontal bone. Remarkable Zygomatic, both frontal and temporal processes. Strong Mandible. No signs of fracture or infection. Sinus clear. Average bone thickness and cranium structure in proportion of remarkable size.

IMPRESSION: Certified Fivehead with good cheekbones, strong jaw
Patient is hot. Sr. Medical staff envious of features, major hotness, and that patient could have any staff of their choosing.