Out Spotlight

Today's Out Spotlight made headlines in 1975 when he became the first NFL player and one of the first professional athletes in the world to come out. His autobiography, now in its fifth printing, was a New York Times best seller. A former player, businessman, author and activist ,Today's Out Spotlight is Dave Kopay.

The second of four children, Dave Kopay was born on June 28, 1942 into a strict Roman Catholic Chicago family. While still in elementary school, the Kopay family moved to North Hollywood, California.

Kopay began his football career at Notre Dame High School in Los Angeles, a school known for its championship athletics. He was named to the all-Catholic conference all-star football team. He enrolled at the University of Washington Kopay attended the UW from 1961 to 1964; he completed his degree in history in 1966.

He joined the Theta Chi fraternity when he arrived at the UW, and it was at the frat that he met the man he now calls the great love of his life. But the very idea of being gay was still foreign to him at the time. It was the early 1960s, and to come out would have marked him an outlier. The thought frightened and repulsed him. He was a football player, after all.

That remained his mindset throughout college, even as he and his frat brother slept together on the sleeping porch of their house, their encounters often taking place after both had dropped off dates. He had closeted himself so completely, insulated by his fear and insecurity, that he never attempted to seek out others in his position, much less the city's gay enclaves. It would take more than a decade for him to begin confronting his sexuality.

As his personal life grew increasingly complicated and clandestine, he also struggled on the football field, failing to earn a varsity letter in his junior year. He finally broke through in his senior season, averaging over 48 minutes a game to lead the team. He was named an All-American and led the Huskies to the 1964 Rose Bowl. It should have been a joyous time for Kopay, but he continued to feel burdened by the weight of the secret he was keeping.

He went on to be name co-captain of the Huskies football team and led the team to the 1964 Rose Bowl and to win the PAC-10 conference title. The following year, he was named an All-American running back.

In 1964, Kopay was drafted by the San Francisco 49ers. He was the team’s leading rusher in his rookie year. He played professional football with the San Francisco 49ers from 1964 to 1967, the Detroit Lions in 1968, the Washington Redskins in 1969-70, the New Orleans Saints in 1971 and the Green Bay Packers in 1972. He went on to played for five NFL teams during his nine-year career, including the Detroit Lions, the Washington Redskins, the New Orleans Saints and the Green Bay Packers.

While playing for the Redskins, Kopay had relationships with women and men, including teammate Jerry Smith.

Struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality, Kopay married a woman, st the suggestion of his therapist, to try to "fix" what he perceived as a problem. The marriage lasted a year.

Three years after retiring from the NFL, Kopay came out publicly in an interview with the Washington Star in 1975.

It was December 1975 and Kopay read an article in the Washington Star newspaper written about dealing with the difficulties of being a homosexual in sports. It quoted, without naming him, an NFL player and his experiences. Kopay knew immediately that the player was his former Washington Redskins teammate Jerry Smith.

He and Smith had talked about writing a book together, but Kopay knew Smith would never come out publicly.

The newspaper was flooded with hate mail about the story, saying it couldn’t be true, that gays did not exist in the NFL. Kopay, who had been retired three years, wanted to prove people wrong and contacted the writer, Lynn Rosellini. She wrote a groundbreaking article that detailed Kopay’s time in the NFL as a closeted homosexual. It was sports history.

Kopay said he got "very, very few hate mails” after coming out. “Mostly the mail that poured in was amazingly supportive and telling their own stories. There were hundreds of letters forwarded to me.”

His coming out did rock his parents and siblings, who have struggled to come to terms with Kopay's new identity. His mother, Marguerite, now understands his decision to come out and their relationship is solid. His father, Anton, who died in 1990, was never fully comfortable with his son's homosexuality. And politics have estranged him from his younger brother and sister—specifically their voting for George W. Bush in the 2004 election. He does, however, welcome his renewed relations with his brother Tony, who during their youth served as a protector and mentor. The two speak often and visit each other regularly.

Kopay went on to write “The David Kopay Story,” with Perry Deane Young, first published in 1977. In it he shared details about his struggle with homophobia and sports.

In 1986, he revealed his brief affair with former Redskins teammate Jerry Smith(1943–1986)after Smith's death. Smith played for the Redskins from 1965–1977. He died of AIDS never having publicly coming out of the closet.

After Kopay retired from the NFL, he was considered a top contender for coaching positions, but he believes he was snubbed by NCAA and NFL teams, because he is gay.

Since 1982, he has worked as salesman/purchaser in his family floorcovering business in Hollywood.

Kopay is one of the founding Gay Games Ambassadors, and has been present to support participating athletes and artists at every edition of the Games. He is also a board member of the Gay and Lesbian Athletics Foundation.

He was a featured announcer in the opening ceremonies for the Gay Games VII in his hometown of Chicago in July 2006.

A champion of gay rights for more than 30 years, Kopay has given hundreds of speeches and media interviews. In 2007, he donated $1 million to the University of Washington’s Q Center the university's center for LGBT students.

He became interested in the Q Center when he read about a gay UW student who had been living in a homeless shelter while attending school; he wanted to ensure that future students, whose families similarly might have turned their back on them, had resources for continuing their education.

"When David was a student-athlete at the UW in the early 60's, as a gay man, he had nowhere to go for support, affirmation, resources, or safety,'a university representative said. "That is no longer the case, and thanks in part to him, the Q Center will be here in perpetuity."

Despite suffering serious injuries during his football career, he still misses the thrill of playing for the NFL. “There’s nothing like the rush of playing on Monday Night Football,” he says. “There’s nothing that will ever fill that void.”

Since Kopay came out in 1975, only two additional former NFL Players have come out as gay, Roy Simmons in 1992, and Esera Tuaolo in 2002. He has been credited with inspiring these athletes to be more open about their sexual orientation.

Kopay has to returned to Seattle and assists the University and the Seattle community in LGBT initiatives.

And they're off ...

And it's not just Jake's pants in the movie. It's promotion time.


Jake had a great time on David Letterman last night check it out.

Or as Jake says "speaking of doing it hard"



Check out Part 2 of the interview here.

Anything jump out in the interview?

Running? Born to Run book? Leavdville? His beard growing over the summer?
His imitation of the lady in Leadville? His joke about cutting back because of shin splints?

And football? Well have to wonder if "Are you ready for some football?!?" is the new pillow talk. And that makes a Steeler game a completely different thing. ; )

And did anyone catch the comment about Bear Grylls?

Hmmmm who does Jake know, who watches and tweets about Bear?

Somebody call bear grylls
5:13 PM Aug 14th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I am eating goat balls. Somebody call bear grylls
9:13 PM Aug 14th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I just watched Bear Grylls take a bite out of a sheeps heart. Waht
6:45 PM Aug 29th via Twitter for BlackBerry®


Jake seemed is great spirits, but sure it must be about the Beaujolais Nouveau today (cheers!) and nothing about getting some Wild Turkey.

Update: Jake and Anne on the Today Show this morning. And thumb wrestling! Lauer said Anne could take him.



Great interview on Regis and Kelly.



Don't now who long either clip will be available, so watch while you can.

Viva Viagra World Tour

November 18th, 2010

Live With Regis & Kelly
Date: November 18, 2010
Time: Check Your Local Listings
Channel: Check Your Local Listings

November 19th, 2010

Hollywood 411
Date: November 19, 2010
Time: 8:00 PM
Channel: TV Guide (check local listings)

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
Date: November 19/20, 2010
Time: 12:35 AM
Channel: NBC

Sweet Spot

A little late but no missing an Austin Friday -thanks for your patience.

Austin.... he's one long lean Tex but he's got a dangerous curve or two.

Now some may his shoulders and others might say that it his chest, but its his waist that seems to get have everyone grabbing on to.

Have you ever notices how when anyone puts there arm around him, their hand somehow just has to hold to his waist? Doesn't matter who they can't help it, its like a magnet. It narrows just a little bit just a perfect spot to rest someone's hand and it shows of that his got a little curve to what everyone thinks is just a long drink of water.

And the other - well its neither small or narrow but it's definitely dangerous.





One more thing Texas whipped Texas A&M like you would a potato, 49-9 last night. And yes there was a stadium of full of people throwing horns. Only if Mr. Potato Head could.


Pictures: Austin Nichols Journal

Back Talk

One of the big A's for an Austin Friday....

A is for Acting.

The Trevor award recognizing Prayers for Bobby brought the movie back up to the front of the mind list so to speak. It will be the next thing we see of Austin's work, and this time its a little different twist to it. This is no Julian, or John for that matter.

Playing Bobby's brother in the film, he's faced with dialog as Ed, that is intolerant to who Bobby is, while being rooted in a faith and belief. During the course of the story that changes.


But what is that like as an actor? Was just another part? Or did it become personal? If that is not who you are and your beliefs, what do you tap into to find that?

Was Ed a chance to exorcise feelings and frustrations? Was it a chance to spit it back out and show those people how it really sounds?




And can't forget this: being the Texas raised boy is - he knows what happens this coming Thursday. And not just Thanksgiving - but Football - Texas Football. Thanksgiving Day Texas will take on Texas A&M in one of the longest running college rivalries in the U.S. This will be the 115th time they meet. Where ever Austin is to celebrate and give thanks, you know he's gonna be rootin' his Longhorns on.

OMG Movie Club starts tonight at 5:00pm EST and goes through tomorrow. The movie is Shelter, written and directed by Jonah Markowitz. Shelter tells the story of Zach, when his college dreams are sidelined by family obligations, he finds comfort in surfing with his best friend's brother.

The Austin Friday post will remain open for comments not related to movie club through Saturday.

Picture: Austin Nichols Journal

Out Spotlight XXXXIII

The NFL is a supermacho culture. It's a place for gladiators. And gladiators aren't supposed to be gay. - Esera Tuaolo

Today's Out Spotlight is Esera Tualo, nicknamed Mr. Aloha, a 6' 3" tall , 300lb Hawaiian born Samoan defensive lineman who played nosetackle in the National Football League (American Football) for 9 seasons, reaching the ultimate goal of all NFL players the Superbowl during his career and hiding from everyone that he was gay.

For as fierce as he was on the line he was terrified that someone would discover his secret and he would lose everything he had worked so hard to achieve. As the youngest of eight children in an immigrant Samoan family desperately poor, living in a dirt floor hut on the family's small banana farm Tuaolo found success in playing football, for him and for his family, but feared every moment that he could lose everything if his teammates found out he was gay.

"When I was 5, I heard a friend call another friend mahu. I asked what it meant. 'Faggot,' he told me in Samoan. Ooh, he likes boys, I thought, That's bad. Then I thought, Uh-oh.

I never liked playing with stuff other boys wanted to play with. I wanted an Easy-Bake oven. I remember watching G.I. Joe on TV and thinking he was cute. I thought, That might be me."

Football was something Tuaolo did well very well, and it took him from the struggling life in Oahu, to Oregon State University and onto the NFL. Football was his savior but it was his strangehold too.

To blend into the supermacho culture he made sure that he was seen out enjoying success and kissing women, but would go home to ease his pain with pain medication and alcohol.

In 1996 a book changed his life, not reading books since college, a friend from Hawaii gave him a copy of The David Kopay Story, about the first NFL player to come out as a homosexual. Starting it and not being able put it down, Tuaolo cried finishing it. He had never heard of him, and couldn't believe it that he reading his own story in Kopay's. At an emotional meeting at a party years later, Tuaolo met David Kopay and Kopay told him "For 30 years, I've been alone." They bonded together two NFL players gay and out. Only one other player, Roy Simmons has come out.

He longed for a "lifetime partner" and a family, and in 1997 he met Mitchell Wherley at a club in Minnesota."Mitchell was sweet. "I want you to know I would never tell anyone your secret." The more he comforted me, the more at ease I felt. We talked about everything. Growing up. Football. It felt so good to unleash everything."A few weeks later Tuaolo came out to his family. Facing the NFL with his lover was another matter."[At the 1999 Super Bowl, where I played with the Atlanta Falcons] I introduced [Mitchell] as my manager and friend. It tore me up.I blew out my hamstring [the next season]. I was thinking, I can't lose this man. I was no longer willing to play football at the expense of our relationship. Just like that, I was done."

"After I retired, I secured a part in [a community theater] revival of The Most Happy Fella [in Minneapolis, where we were living together]. A retired NFL player doing theatre – anybody should've known I was gay."

In 2000, Tuaolo's dream would come closer as he and Mitchell as their adopted twins Mitchie (Mitchell Jr.) and Michele were born. He had the partner and the family he always wanted. But it now was tougher to keep his orientation a secret.

In 2002, retired from the NFL, he publicly acknowledged for the first time being gay on HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. And for the first time, he felt a "rush of peace and panic" as he spoke. The rest of the interview he kept excusing himself to throw up. When they turned off the cameras, Mitchell embraced him. "Great job," he told him. "It's going to get better."

The reaction from football players was mixed." [Former teammate] Don Davey called to let me know we were still buddies. Brett Favre's brother sent me an e-mail saying, "Our family still loves you." I did not hear from Brett directly, but that's okay. People process things in their own way." But his former Green Bay Packers teammate Sterling Sharpe, an all-Pro receiver, confirmed Tuaolo's worst fears in an interview with HBO's Real Sports. Bryant Gumbel asked him how he felt about Tuaolo being gay. Sharpe said, "If the guys found out another player was gay on Monday, he wouldn't be able to play on Sunday," essentially admitting that a gay player would be gay-bashed by his own teammates. "Question my heart, question my ability, but do not question my machoism," said Sharpe.

Talking to Kopay, Tuaolo felt the NFL seemed almost more open toward gays in Kopay's era than in his. Kopay knew which teammates were gay, and knew about other players in the league. He even had relationships with some of them. With the demographic that gays are 10% of the population, there should be four or five gay players on every team. But other than himself, Tuaolo don't know of a single one in the NFL.

Tuaolo has done something about that, working with the NFL to attempt to combat homophobia in the league and is a board member of the Gay and Lesbian Athletics Foundation.

His book "Alone in the Trenches," chronicles his rise to the pinnacle of professional sports, all the while hiding his true identity. The first chapter, titled "The Torments of Success," captures how he struggled with his fame and his fear of being found out as a gay man, and how he achieves his dreams. "This is the story of how I dared to dream, not only of surviving professional football, but of living openly for who I am, a gay man."

While he and Mitchell are no longer together both are committed to their children.

"People ask me if I think a superstar football player will ever come out during his playing days. I hate to be negative, but I don't see it happening. The league just isn't ready for it, and neither are the fans. The NFL doesn't even give benefits to same-sex partners. I'd like to be wrong. It would be cool if we could just set a date, and on that day all the players, all the owners, all the coaches, all the owners' and coaches' kids, the fans -- all the people involved in football who are gay -- could just come out all at the same time"

"From now on, that uniform is the only part of me that stays in a closet."

The Advocate: Tackling Football's Closet
ESPN: Free and Clear
PrideSource: Gay in the NFL
OutSports: No More Hiding
People: Gay Man in the NFL
NPR:A Gay Football Player, 'Alone in the Trenches'

Don't forget to vote for the OMG Movie Club - the poll is still open today.
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