Out Spotlight

Today’s Out Spotlight is not a person, but a group of people coming together and building a bond. They come together in support and community, a creating place for their children to build friendships and interact with families just like their own and a place where dads could find a place to come together and discuss the unique situation they face as gay fathers. Today’s Out Spotlight is The PopLuck Club. (PLC)

PLC began in Los Angeles in August of 1998, with founder Paul Oberon and a small group of guys who started meeting on a regular basis, with the intention of creating a place for themselves and their kids. The mission was to create a sense of community, not only for the kids to interact with families just like theirs, but also where dads (and prospective fathers) could have a place to discuss the issues they faced. The hope was that these gatherings “would help provide mutual support in their individual quests to become great fathers.”

Each gathering was centered with a potluck dinner, and the families shared their favorite recipes along with their personal experiences. Soon the meetings began to grow quickly in size. Today, PLC has grown into the largest known gay fathers organization in the world, with hundreds of families in their community. Not long ago, they celebrated their 500^th child.

They continue the simple tradition of each member sharing food and stories, but now it has “evolved into a substantial voice, helping to support the growth of our wonderfully diverse community.” They have pot-luck play dates. They hold support groups and host discussion forums. They have family events and mentorship programs for new fathers. And most importantly they promote the love that can exist in a gay-male run household, and that families can be formed in all different kind of ways.

"Mark Brown, the secretary of the organization and a member since its second year, has watched many of these children grow up. 'Many of the issues we deal with,' he says, pare age related. The first one that usually starts in preschool is 'where's your mom?' And these are easy answers. We tell them that some families have two dads and they get that. But as they get older, things get more complicated. With girls, we always face the challenge of hair and clothing. Right now my daughter is on the verge of puberty and is pretty comfortable discussing things with us, but going bra shopping was a little bit of an embarrassment for her. Basically, I had to go and buy an assortment of them, have her try them on at home, then buy a half dozen of the one she liked."

Their mission is to advance the well being of gay prospective parents, gay parents and their children. And they do this through mutual support, community collaboration, and public understanding. For those considering becoming a parent, PLC provides information on the many options that possible for creating a family through adoption, co-parenting, fostering programs, and surrogacy as well as other options.

For those who already have children, PLC is there to facilitate social interaction, help to develop mentoring relationships, and share positive images of gay parenting with the community at large.

As an all-volunteer, non-profit organization, PLC also produces special community events, such as their annual “Kids’ Fun Fair,” and co-sponsors other events, such as “Families In The Desert” with The Family Equality Council as a part of their programming.

Today PLC , is holding the area's largest Father's Day celebration to encourage the gay community to consider their options in parenting and building families with a Sunday brunch celebration taking at The Abbey, in a West Hollywood . The celebration will feature the Heart Gallery, a LA-a photo display of children in the foster care system who in need of a family, as well as a book signing by Fox 11 news anchor Christine Devine, whose "Finding a Forever Family" was inspired by her on-air "Wednesday's Child" news segments. Representatives from the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) and the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Family Services Program will be on hand to talk to those interested in their options for starting or expanding their families.

Rich Valenza, co-president of PLC , sees the collaboration as groundbreaking. “Many gays and lesbians do not realize that we can create our families through fostering and adoption. Bringing these resources to The Abbey, our community's favorite hot spot, will inspire prospective dads and moms to take the next step as they plan their families."

Bryan Miller, a Supervising Children's Social Worker with LA County, explains why they are reaching out to the gay and lesbian community. "On any given day, we have about 500 children in LA County who are in need of safe, permanent homes. The gay and lesbian community is an underutilized source of potential foster and adoptive parents for our children."

"It's a perfect time for new parents, as well as families considering adding a sibling, to consider fost/adopt," said Tannia Esparza, Family Advocate for the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Family Services Program. Adding, "We offer support throughout the parenting process. It gives me great pleasure to see so much joy come into the lives of our LGBT parents and to see their children thrive."

In 2009, the L.A. County DCFS' Adoption and Permanency Resources Division earned the Human Rights Campaign's "All Children - All Families Seal of Recognition" for it's excellence in serving LGBT families.

In beginning of this year PLC announced the launch of the "Raise A Child" campaign. One of the main goals of the campaign was to increase awareness and understanding in the community for gay fathers and their families. It also attempted to inspire gay fathers and those who aspire to be gay fathers, promoting the variety of ways that one can start a family. Highlighting surrogacy, fostering and adoption. The ad campaign done through radio public service announcements and ads highlighted families that are a part of PLC around LA as a way to reduce the stigma that still surrounds gay parenting. "We make lunches for our kids, get them to music and karate lessons... just like every family. …With this campaign, we are putting a real face on gay parenting."

PLC has also participated in the "It's Get's Better Campaign" sharing their stories about how their paths to becoming gay fathers, and proving it gets better.

"Growing up, many of us felt sadness that coming out as gay would end our dreams of parenting. I now know that becoming a father and providing a loving home for our child is the most important and rewarding thing I have ever done." - John Ireland

The PopLuck Club