Sunday, September 25, 2011

Out Spotlight

Slowly there have been a few athletes who have come out over the years, with just a handful while they are still competing in there sport. Today's Spotlight is a college athlete who came out not as gay, but as the NCAA’s first Div. 1 publicly transgender player. Today's Out Spotlight is Kye Allums.

Kye Allums is member of George Washington University's Women's basketball team. Allums was born female and originally named Kay-Kay Allums, however, he now identifies as a male and is currently playing the women's team.

Last year Allums chose to come out as a transgender male.

The 5'11" guard started over 20 games as a Sophomore for GW and was a starter for the team when he came. Speaking to the press after his story came out he said,"Yes, I am a male on a female team. And I want to be clear about this. I am a transgender male, which means feelings-wise, how it feels on the inside, I feel as if I should have been born male with male parts. But my biological sex is female, which makes me a transgender male."

George Washington University issued a statement of support the day after Allums went public in an article for Outsports. He spoke about himself and his decision a news conference the following.

While still biologically a woman, he hopes to transition to a man but not until his playing eligibility is up after this 2011-2012 season. He cannot start hormone therapy or undergo surgery as long as he wants to stay on the women's team.

The question asked by so many was why not wait until then to tell the world?

"That's what my plan was," Allums said. "And then it just got too tough not to be me. I heard people call me a girl and say 'she' and refer to me as something that I wasn't."

He talked about feeling relief after coming out to teammates during his first two years of college, a year before going public.

When Allums came out he was supported and praised by his teammates and his coach. Then, Senior forward Ivy Abiona said the team supported Allums and praised him for "courage and fortitude."

"We're a basketball family," his coach Mike Bozeman said. "And I just immediately felt like I needed to support Kye."

Allums' mom got the news from her child via e-mail. Kye said the e-mail took 15 minutes to compose but five hours to send.

His mother's reaction? "She said, 'I don't have to agree with your decision, but I'm always going to have your back. I'm your mother. … I'm always going to love you.' "

Growing up, Allums was a tomboy. The oldest of four kids, he would often say he was a boy despite being born a biological girl. Around 12, he realized that no other girls behaved or dressed the way he did, so he decided to go along with what the other girls his age did: Putting on make-up, wearing skirts and dresses. After just a year of putting up a feminine front, it was back to the tomboy clothes and wondering why he just didn’t fit in.

“I’ve always felt most comfortable dressing like a boy, but my mom would take all of my clothes from me and she’d force me to wear girl clothes. I’d bring sweats and basketball shorts and put them in my backpack. I’d just change every day when I got to school, and I had to change back before I went home. It was annoying, but it was the only way I could go to school.”

In high school, Allums met other people who acted and dressed like him: They were lesbians. So for the next few years Allums identified as lesbian, finally fitting into a group that he could define. But as time went on, despite their similarities, he realized he wasn't a lesbian either.

But it was after a heated text exchange with his mother during his freshman year at college, during which she referred to him as a "young lady", it clicked, Allums realized that he didn't identify as female, but rather, as male.

Afterwards, he began to identify himself as a transgender male, first to friends, teammates and teammates, then to his coach who he was concern wouldn't be supportive.

Back in June 2010 when coach tracked him down to talk about another issue it gave Allums the opportunity to talk about his transition. He explained, as best he could, that he was a man and had always been a man. The conversation was a bit tough at first but then the tone changed, when his coach told him:

“Why would you think I wouldn’t have your back? I’ve had your back through everything. Our relationship has grown from nothing to this, and now you think I’d just turn my back on you because you told me this? No. I love you and I’ll always be here for you.”

At his press conference following him coming out, Allums spoke openly and "with disarming nonchalance" to the local and national news media outlets following the story. "It feels like a dream, actually."

Being realistic, he expected opposing fans to heckle him but he took it in stride saying "People are going to talk about me until the day I die."

Allums said that others struggling with similar issues have said thank you for sharing his story. "They're proud of me and that feels great."

Asked at the time which was more important: Winning games or inspiring others? "Winning games. And by winning games I hope I do inspire people."

55 comments:

Special K said...

Not sure if it's because he's famous and a foodie, he's actually living in Santa Monica most of the time, he's a regular a the restaurant, or that someone just thinks he's hot, but Jake's got a booth named after him at the Snug Harbor restaurant.

@keith_caulfield
Keith Caulfield
I sat in the Jake Gyllenhaal booth at Snug Harbor restaurant yesterday. snugharbor.us
1 hour ago via web

Twitter

Snug Harbor calls itself Homestyle Dine-in. It looks like a great little breakfast/lunch/brunch place. (They're only open 6am-3pm)

Snugharbor

westside said...

Why would he be living in SM? When was the last time we had a Jake signting in SM?

Special K said...

Well, a gave a list of possibilities besides living there. But would there be a Jake Gyllenhaal booth in a little breakfast lunch place if he didn't frequent the place or is known in the area?

I gotta say it looks like a place to go, relax and enjoy and not by all alone all the time. Just great little neighborhood place.

westside said...

Just great little neighborhood place.

LOL in the middle of traffic-riddled, congested Wilshire Boulevard. Jake's more an Eastside guy. I think that tweet was probably just a plug for Snug Harbor. He made sure to get the web address in there didn't he.

Special K said...

No he didn't he just said Snug Harbor, I looked up the rest.

Somebody is bothered about this, or the mere suggestion that Jake is regularly in that area.

Special K said...

We do know that Austin used to like to hang out in Santa Monica, he talked liking to shoot pool at The Joker bar.

LA Times

prairiegirl said...

Lucy, I'm hooooome!!!

prairiegirl said...

Someone seems to have been cranky most of the weekend.

Someone is not happy about Austin's silence all weekend.

Someone is not happy about the obvious evidence that Soapy was alone on Friday night what with her Tweet Bender again on a Friday night.

Because believe me, if they were a real couple **cough cough**, and she were any kind of a smart chick, **ahem ahem**, she would not be tweeting a kazillion times about a kazillion different subjects on a Friday night if Austin's hot bod were in the house.

Correctamundo?

lol said...

Austin's twitter goes "silent" for the first time in months, and Mary creams her panties - it can only mean one thing. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

prairiegirl said...

Yes, it went silent after a week of speaking, troll.


Jake was waiting for Austin.

Tweet!!!!! said...

mattkulper Matt Kulper
Yes. That's Jake Gyllenhaal. Dude loves his coffee. twitpic.com/6qxw24
3 hours ago

time cop said...

^He tweeted that at 9:28am.

joe said...

marillali Marilla Li
Jake Gyllenhaal at my local coffee shop. Sunglasses draw just as much attention as no sunglasses. They can't win
9 minutes ago

? said...

Yes. That's Jake Gyllenhaal. Dude loves his coffee.

Austin must have been in the loo when the pic was taken. But where are the children? Don't they ever take them out in public?

Special K said...

To answer the Brit who wants to stir it up.

Where's Austin?

It's Monday and they are starting to film a new episode this week, which means there is a table read today, so Austin probably is on his way back to NC, this morning, just like the other cast members who weren't in NC this weekend (ex. Tyler Hilton).

? said...

Didn't ask where Austin was! Asked where the poor children are. Twisting everything again SK?

Special K said...

Austin must have been in the loo when the pic was taken.

You were insinuating that Austin was not there by your snark, in addition to the condescending tone you had about where the kids are.

It sounds like you are a bit flummoxed over Jake being in NY and Austin not seen or heard from all weekend.

And why can't the kids be in CA, or with grandparents, or family. Heck they could even be in NY and having fun with their cousin in Brooklyn.

And why would the kids want coffee? Kids and coffee, that's like "little nervous dogs and espresso".

the real m said...

Complicated life for our out spotlight.

I missed most of yesterday as I am still catching up on chores. Funny how quickly the troll gets his back up. I wonder how he rationalizes Jake having no interest in women after all this time. The gay is staring the troll right in the face. It's not easy to continue to ignore the obvious.

crap said...

Poor M - you still think it is all about teh ghey. LOL!

prairiegirl said...

Don't they ever take them out in public?

Oh yeah, sure. Didn't you see the Just Jared post on Saturday showing Jake and Austin with their brood going to Toys R Us? They had 38 pictures.


lol. **shakes head**. And then their next gig is to do a TV commercial announcing that they're going to Disneyland!

prairiegirl said...

See, now that some people are getting very nervous, including the ever naive OTH fangirls, it's not enough to have interesting absences or quiet to cause unsettlement.

Now the stakes get raised for proof to settle their nerves.

Austin and Jake both being on the East Coast is proving to be too much for some people to handle.

prairiegirl said...

I think there's been new meaning given to the name, Austin Power(s).

?? said...

How come Jake never goes to NC? Spending the weekend there would make more sense since the OTH fans seem to only hang around the places where they shoot not live.

Surely Austin has at least an Apt there.

Special K said...

It is easier to disappear where there are a lot of people, like in NY. You are more conspicuous in a place like Wilmington.

?? said...

Not really, there are hardly any mention of cast members from OTH when they aren't filming. Yeah some do fly out of NC when they aren't filming but there has only been a handful of sightings of them in Wilmington just hanging out.

Jake doesn't seem to disappear when he is in NY, he farts and someone tweets about it.

It seems to me a perfect place to hide under the radar for a weekend.

Austin must have a place in NC, he could easily disappear there and no one would no.

Special K said...

Ever hear about hiding in plain sight. Jake has a better chance of doing that in a city of millions like NY, sunglasses and grow out his beard he blends in with all the other hipsters his age. But in a city of a little over 100,000 that can be way tougher.

But you are forgetting the biggest reason. Austin is "dating" Sophia and can't be seen with Jake. The CW is well known to couple their actors to "straighten" their image. No way Austin can be seen with Jake in NC while still working on OTH.

prairiegirl said...

Not really, there are hardly any mention of cast members from OTH when they aren't filming.

Not true at all. Those OTH fans stalk these actors. They find out what bars and restaurants they like to hang out at and they also sign up to be extras on the show. They sign up for studio tours. They hang out outside while they're filming, hoping the actors will come over after they're done filming.

There are plenty of pictures of fans with Austin or Sophia in the middle of Wilmington sidewalks. Those fans stop them right on the street.

There is absolutely no way Jake can hang out anywhere near Wilmy.

prairiegirl said...

Jake doesn't seem to disappear when he is in NY, he farts and someone tweets about it.


I don't know that I saw a single tweet of Jake yesterday while in NYC.

prairiegirl said...

Boy, I gotta tell you, I am still trying to recover from this past weekend.

That tween public brush-off was almost too much for ol' Aunt PG to handle. The humiliation of it all! LOL


And then like that evening, he was all happy to see us inside the house. He went to the mall with his sister, my mom and I. I mean, what in the heck? I'm uncool. I just don't know how to handle this. I'm devastated.

Tweet!!!!! said...

from Sunday:

Just met jake gyllenhaal 8| starstruck"
"Just a totally normal Sunday afternoon celebrity sighting ::: Jake Gyllenhaal #swoon"

AUS10 said...

Please read this----- SEAWORLD’S HYPOCRISY fb.me/1aSt8WuRM
44 minutes ago

200,000 sharks per day are killed for soup. This is just plain crazy. We have to change our ways. virg.co/soup
42 minutes ago

TOP GUN lost auditions. Props to Saturday Night Live. And Bill Hader scares me with his talent ---------> http://www.boiseweekly.com/Cobweb/archive...
32 minutes ago

prairiegirl said...

Can we get the twitter name and time on that tweet please? Thanks in advance.

EW said...

Actor comes out of the closet, and talks about hiding his partner of 9 years and two children from people he worked with.

Sean Maher comes out

not very plausible said...

from Sunday:

Just met jake gyllenhaal 8| starstruck"
"Just a totally normal Sunday afternoon celebrity sighting ::: Jake Gyllenhaal #swoon"


Yeah, I saw that isolated tweet and immediately ignored it. Sure is funny nobody else saw Jake anywhere just this lucky person. Ollie doesn't even say where he supposedly saw Jake. Could be a mistaken identity or Ollie is just trying to jump on the Jake in NY bandwagon. Happens all the time.

Special K said...

Thanks for the story about Sean Maher coming out.

Read it.

Way to Go!! and Best Wishes for him and his family.

destiny said...

Everyone should read it, especially the part about how one of the reasons he has come out is that he didn't know how in the world he would explain to his 4-year old daughter how he was closeted and that's why he couldn't bring her to work with him.

it's nice to see Sean doing the right thing by his children, something I don't think Jake and Austin will ever do for BT, if he or she exists.

Time to come out said...

It's all very nice to romanticize about Jake and Austin and x amount of BTs, but this article about Sean Maher just shows how despicable Jake and Austin are with all their bearding, and denial of their child's/children's existence.

prairiegirl said...

Despicable is a pretty strong term.

Everytime now that we get a coming out story, it provides just another diving board platform to jump all over Jake & Austin's asses.

prairiegirl said...

And before anyone jumps down my throat, am I wild about the present situation? No.

But we don't know what the guys' plans are for the next 6 months now, do we?

prairiegirl said...

I tell you what.

I believe the day is going to come soon when they are going to come out and you're going to see these 2 guys with their kids.

And it's going to be very interesting to see the reactions from everyone on OMG and WFT2.

Who's going to jump on the bandwagon and who's going to change their minds when they hear the story.

Time to come out said...

The bearding is a sign that they won't be out anytime soon. How quickly one can forget the farcical US Fakely cover of Squinty and Jake holding hands, skipping amongst the fall leaves in NYC. Pffffffttttt

destiny said...

People as public as Jake just don't come out cold turkey. They lay the groundwork first. For example Ricky Martin started talking about homophobia and gay bashing in Puerto Rico.

So far I see no evidence of anything like that from Jake or Austin, so I don't think anything is going to happen anytime soon. It would be so easy for Austin to do something like that too, what with all of his tweets about social causes. Where were the tweets from either him or Sophia for that matter when North Carolina was considering--and passing--a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Not one word.

Special K said...

Actually Destiny Austin has. Not a lot but a little here and there when you go back through his tweets. It is a comment here and comment there. While it isn't a running dialog for him, he has. So to say he's done nothing, isn't true.

not going to happen said...

I believe the day is going to come soon when they are going to come out and you're going to see these 2 guys with their kids.




And some people believe in the rapture

destiny said...

Austin hasn't done that in months Special. Obviously something made him stop. Remember the deleted tweet that sounded "too gay"? Plus we just had the recent round of "Jake is such a ladies man he went out with a different woman every day".

Not the behavior of men who are thinking of coming out anytime soon.

I also find it hard to believe that Reese didn't have him sign something assuring her he wouldn't do something like that anytime soon. Reese still has a lot of power in HW, as does CAA, where her husband works, and nobody is going to do anything to cross her. I think assuring the powers that be that he wouldn't come out anytime soon is another reason for choosing Reese, and not say some unknown model.

prairiegirl said...

I didn't say that they were going to come out in the next 6 months. But I also can't imagine it's going to be in 10 years either.

I'm not sure how they're going to do it either - both guys have dug themselves huge holes with their lying.

But I cannot imagine Jake continuing to hide his kids.

kulip said...

But I cannot imagine Jake continuing to hide his kids.

^ Well he's done it for 4 years, so he is very experienced. Why change now?

Florida Tom said...

My friends may not like to hear this but if these two guys are married with multiple children they are the worst examples for the gay community I have ever seen. Plus terrible parents. I believe they will probably never come out at this point. Sorry but it is just the way I feel. Their not coming out has nothing to do with protecting kids. Nothing.

prairiegirl said...

It's all very nice to romanticize about Jake and Austin and x amount of BTs, but this article about Sean Maher just shows how despicable Jake and Austin are with all their bearding, and denial of their child's/children's existence.


This statement just continues to bug the heck out of me. Why? Because it makes Jake and Austin sound like inhuman, hateful animals.

The reason I am still hanging around is because I think Jake & Austin have an incredible story. And it is a story of love no matter what people think.

I have said this enough times but I feel like it cannot be said enough - to try and form an educated opinion about the idea/reality of Jake & Austin being married and being fathers to several children cannot be done from sheer memory or on the basis of one incident or picture.

It has taken me well over 12 months now of being exposed to brilliant and detailed timelines and paying attention to every single thing you can get your hands on.

You guys know me and how I am. I miss stuff, I mess up, things go over my head. I'm not up there in this upper echelon of archiving and studying. I'm not trying to peddle crap. I am telling you that there are 1001 details and facts that we know when all put together are pointing to the reality that Jake is married to Austin and those 2 guys have got not just one, not just two but three or four babies/toddlers whom they have both biologically fathered.

prairiegirl said...

My friends may not like to hear this but if these two guys are married with multiple children they are the worst examples for the gay community I have ever seen. Plus terrible parents.

We don't even know how they are with their children. We're not in their home.

When I look at Jake and how he fussed over Boo, how could anyone imagine he would treat his kid like crap? Those who care for the little in life, are going to care for the big in their life.

I have to remind even myself that there are 7 days in a week and to base an opinion on Jake or Austin and how they are with their children cannot be confined to just what we see on a Saturday and Sunday.

prairiegirl said...

Boy, there's nothing like BT talk to get things riled up, is there? lol

It is an extremely sensitive and hot potato subject.

Florida Tom said...

Being ashamed of who you are and pretending not to be Gay and parents at the same time is horrible in these times. It is very self centered and selfish. I am certainly not saying that If J and A have kids that they treat them horrible at home. Just step back a bit and take a look at what were seeing. We are seeing two men who are doing something really sad.

Florida Tom said...

Sad to themselves and sad to a society that is trying to change to a healthy more loving way of living.

prairiegirl said...

Being ashamed of who you are and pretending not to be Gay and parents at the same time is horrible in these times. It is very self centered and selfish.

I'm not going to disagree with that.

But it could be that these 2 guys are waiting until they're done having their family before the wheels are put into motion about taking the steps toward inching out of this Herman Munster sized closet that they've built.

They have used people. They've lied. They've had to do a lot of things to have these kids.

But Tom, I can't fault them for bearding during the birth of at least BT1. Look at when that was.

That was 2007 and things were way different even then. A lot has changed since that time.

But Austin is still tied to OTH. He can't come out while that show is still filming. I bet the CW would wring his neck - not only that, but I bet he could be contractually bound not to. Heck - he can't even be seen with Jake.


I think they have a bun in the oven right now. If they were to come out today, they would have media allllllll over them. It would be a circus.

I don't know that I can blame them for maybe waiting until the family is complete.

Just pondering.

prairiegirl said...

Look at Orlando Bloom. Look at Matthew McConahayhay. Those 2 guys married their beards. Look at that adorable Flynn and what is being done to him.


I give Jake and Austin some credit for having gotten married so that they legally cannot marry a beard. They can't. That's why they haven't. They are married to each other.

So you don't see Jake walking around with Reese carrying around BT.

How horrible would that have been?