Scenes from a session

"Alright everyone. We are all here to day because of a mandate of the studio for a professional therapist to be on the set and available at all times to help defuse some of the situations during filming. Many of you have already been contacting your own support systems but the studio, backers and insurance company feels that group sessions are mandatory until the films wraps."

"Oh yeah blame me. Caan walked out on his own."

"We are not here to place blame, we are here to make sure the studio finishes paying for this movie. "

"Our sessions will be completely confidential. What is said can not be used on the set or anywhere else. We will use a variety of ways to express our feelings and frustrations. And find some resolution"

"With this group we will use a variety of techniques to express yourself in constructive and appropriate ways. There will be no name calling, abusive language, bullying, threats or physical altercations.

Since we have some how have issues centering on expressing themselves we are going to use puppets so that we can expressive all of our feelings."

"They're socks!"


"I am not putting a sock on my hand."


Oh you won't put a sock on your hand what are you too good for sock puppets.


"They're disgusting!"


"I know you are but what am I?"

"Hey stop taking my shtick"


"And those dog toys you throw aren't?"

"Oh you won't put a sock on your hand what are you too good for sock puppets."

"Okay Okay, everyone this is exactly while we are here."

"Yes they are are - sadly the studio gave us a limited budget and we blew it all on the Rock'em Sock'em robots for conflict resolution."

"This is a safe place for free and open dialog. You can say whatever you feel needs to be said. There will be no retaliation for what is said here.

Now the studio needs you to sign this paperwork saying they are not responsible for any thing and absolves them from all legal action. Sign here, here and here. "

"What is this here?"

Oh that, well that is that if the group therapy doesn't work, they will bring in Alec Baldwin.


"Hey! That's great, he helped me. But don't get him yet, I want to try those Rock'em Sock'em Robots. "