Something a little different for today's Out Spotlight.
It being Father's Day here in the U.S. today's spotlight is not about a gay father, but gay men and their fathers. The book, The Man I Might Become by Out Editor at Large, Bruce Shenitz is a series of contributions of out gay men writing about their relationships with their fathers. The 28 essays in the anthology come from relationships that range from close and loving to remote and hostile and represent every corner of society. Frank with some painful and some funny, the stories talk of estrangements and reconciliations and show that the complexities of parent-child relations are universal.
"Few men, straight or gay, find the father-son relationship easy, which explains why mens groups overflow with stories of fathers who ignored, brutalized, or otherwise wounded their sons. But gay men find the subject particularly problematic: When they come out to their families, they enter emotional territory their straight counterparts often avoid their entire... More lives. For many fathers and sons, the deepest feelings often remain unexpressed; if a son is gay, the very act of coming out virtually ensures that silence will be broken."
It is expected that there are themes of conflict and acceptance, shame and forgiveness. The book can be broken up into three categories: fathers have passed on whose sons never came out to their dads; fathers who never forgave their sons for being gay, and fathers who have been marvelously accepting. How some were embraced, while others struggled, and how some had to come to terms with their life and rise above, forgive, and move on. Each essay shows how the relationship between father and son plays a part in shaping the men they became.
Some of the writers, like syndicated sex/relationship columnist Dan Savage, author Jesse Green have become fathers themselves.
A Lambda Award Winner in 2003 for Best Non-Fiction , The Man I Might Become has been called by many "essential reading for every gay man coming to terms with his past, his family and his own future."
who love cherish and support their children
for who they are
and the gift that they are as well.
Happy Father's Day!
Happy Summer Solstice
