Proof (ing) = The New Math

Most times, editing means subtraction, but in Gyllenmath it means addition and division.
Check it out:

Original Version

"Jake Gyllenhaal, enjoying a late lunch with a guy pal on the patio at Gjelina restaurant on Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice, Calif. The actor sipped water with lime during his quiet meal of thin-crust pizza. "It seemed like a really relaxed lunch," says an observer, noting that even ultra-trendy patrons of the hip local spot were rubbernecking for a peek at the actor. "They lingered for a while." -- People

Revised Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, enjoying a late lunch with a guy pal on the patio at Gjelina restaurant on Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice, Calif. The actor sipped water with lime during a quiet lunch of thin-crust pizza which the table split. "It seemed like a really relaxed lunch," says an observer, noting that even ultra-trendy patrons of the hip local spot were rubbernecking for a peek at the actor. "They lingered for a while." -- People



Now what's math class without a word problem.

People writes two blurbs about two pals having one late lunch on Gjelina's patio on Abbot Kinney Blvd in Venice which 3.43 miles from Ocean Drive in Santa Monica . If one sipped water with lime and both lingered, what do the four new words mean?



Extra Credit:

Jake is driving traveling at 39 miles per hour in a 35 mph zone. He is followed by 5 paparazzi traveling at 37 miles per hour. Jake accelerates to 43 miles an hour and flags down a police officer 3.5 seconds ahead of the paparazzi. How many people where in the car?


(Please don't mock or throw things if the actual mathematics don't work, I was a liberal arts major for a reason people. I was breaking out in a cold sweat just trying to make up "made up word problems.")


More Notes from a Small World
Something about Gjelina : Many diners mention and compare the restaurant to Pizzeria Mozza. Who likes Mozza and hangs in Santa Monica?

It's Taxing

Gjelina's Patio

"Jake Gyllenhaal, enjoying a late lunch with a guy pal on the patio at Gjelina restaurant on Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice, Calif. The actor sipped water with lime during his quiet meal of thin-crust pizza. "It seemed like a really relaxed lunch," says an observer, noting that even ultra-trendy patrons of the hip local spot were rubbernecking for a peek at the actor. "They lingered for a while." -- People April 15, 2009

"late lunch"
"guy pal"
"quiet meal"
"really relaxed lunch"
"even ultra-trendy patrons of the hip local spot were rubbernecking for a peek"

Hmmmm...... this doesn't sound like his standard business lunch. ; )







A few months earlier:

Accountant: "Jake, there are few things I need to go over that you have marked as business expenses."

"Go For it. "

"January 20th - Breakfast."

"Business"

"February 29th - Coffee"

"Business"

"You have a receipt for a black and blue plaid shirt , it's written here lumberjake or is that lumberjack ?"

"Business"

"What about the other plaid shirts you've been seen them? With the birds?"

"No, that's personal."

"You had no expenses for a trip to NY late February?"

"Not my business expense."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Coffee - March 15th?"

"Business. Look if there its for two coffees and that's it - BUSINESS!"

[Accountant --- going through a stack and pushing a big stack over to the side]

"And you put in everything for your gas and mileage?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Receipts for Charleston?"

"Well there's no money from the production company so make that business, except anything dated around May 1-3 - send to Evelyn."

"What about a dinner in a place called Zaytinya in DC ?"

"BUSINESS. It's Business If I marked it business it's business."

"Ok. Ok Jake."

"I just have to make sure - I mean I need to make sure if the IRS decides to audit you, why you wrote off everything as business. I mean it might look a little odd that everything with your ... uh well..."

"yes..."

"Ms Wi... well you know... the person you are "dating" marked business
Like this ... your birthday, dinner .... how can that be business?
I mean you had to buy your own birthday dinner ?"

"Yes"

"Damn, that's getting the business"

For those in the U.S. who have not filed their taxes yet, today's your last day.
(Hey I might see you in the line...ahem)

A sobering thought and an OMG rewind from last year on this day.

"For gay couples, the April 15 tax filing deadline can be a reminder of the disparities they face, even in a nation that is becoming more accepting of same-sex couples.

Gay couples often pay higher taxes because they don't get the federal tax benefits that go with marriage. And for couples in state-sanctioned domestic partnerships, civil unions, or same-sex marriages, filing federal income taxes can involve doing three sets of paperwork instead of one." - The Advocate (Online 4/8-4/12, 2008)

Check out the rest of the article

The Advocate

and another article about federal rights for same sex couples

Massachusetts couples suing for Federal Rights

But change is happening. Things are changing each and every week, like Iowa, Vermont.
And this week.

New York Gov. David A. Paterson, tomorrow will announce plans to introduce legislation to legalize same-sex marriage in the state of New York.

Change is happening. Change is happening. Change is happening. Hello California...

Jake of the Jungle

Going totally old school -- Grandmaster Flash said it best:

Dont push me, cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to loose my head
Its like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under


And so does Ted - check it out:

"Couples Cashing In?

Since Reese and Jake have taken their relationship to the trick-or-treating level, we've got six more suggestions for fam-friendly outings! Plus, could booby babe Pam Anderson be having more hard times? Say it ain't so!

If you regularly read this column, you prolly know we haven't exactly been gulping down the Gyllenspoon Kool-Aid like the rest of the rags, wonder why? Something about the sudden PDA sessions in front of the paps right as Rendition premiered smelled stinky to us—among sundry other suspect celeb goings-on.But that was all before we saw the pics of Jake (or supposedly of Jake, as he was wearing a giant gorilla costume) trick-or-treating with Reese's tykes, Ava and Deacon. 'Cause, surely, if southern sweetie Reese is not only introducing Jake to her kids and having them all spend holidays together, there must be something more to their relationship...right?

Unless...of course, it's all just one big PR ploy to sell a dead movie, and certain other parties—who mysteriously don't make it into press-release-esque photos of the dimpled duo—have always been there in the background, too, and Reese and Jake are just good buds. For ince, could Ryan still be hangin' round, trying to slink back with his fresh ex? Just a question here, dearies, and a preachy proviso to not always gobble up everything you read, this missive included.

In any case, since Reese 'n' Jake seem to be serious about whatever it is they're embarking on, we Awful busybodies came up with a Sick-Sick Six tally for more family (and photo) friendly outings the two hons should so plan:

6. Hike Runyon Canyon: Jake can bring his great gams and two pooches along while the whole happy clan goes thigh busting (Reese breaks a mean sweat at many things, don't forget) in the Hollywood Hills. Love!

5. Hit Pinkberry: Come on, what kid doesn't love dessert? Plus, this frozen whatever chain is popular with H'wood types, because if you binge on it, supposedly you can still squeeze into your skinny jeans. Who cares 'bout all that fake crap it's filled with—hey, at least you'll stay svelte. Reese and Jake gotta keep those figures fab, right?

4. Head Down to Disneyland: It's called the Happiest Place on Earth for a reason (and we don't just mean because Lindsay really knows how to get hap-happy at the joint). 'Cause, really, you can't quite call yourself a celeb couple until you've gotten pics together wearing those mouse ears, n'est-ce pas? Bonus points if Ava, Deacon and Jake can convince Reese to ride Space Mountain with 'em!

3. Take Your Very Lives into Your Hands, Darlings, and Go to the Grove: Reach out and touch those who actually seem to be buying this silliness that you all are the hottest twosome since Pam 'n' Rick. This outdoor shopping center, complete with cinema, Cheesecake Factory and an actual trolley you can ride on top of (not sure Jake would like, though) is one of the best spots to bring your kids, if you like that breeder kinda thang. Paparazzi are allowed inside, ensuring easy access to headline-hungry A-listers. It was one of Victoria Beckham's first stops with her boys when she moved here.

2. Go Get Mani-Pedis Together! Hey, the fam that pampers their piggies together, stays together. Just ask Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman, who are often seen getting their tootsies done with daughter Lily.

1. Get Floor Seats at the Lakers Game: We already know Jake's a basketball fan, as he used to hit these games with Austin Nichols, like, all the time. And if Reese isn't into B-ball, she'll just have to pretend. Think ya can, girlfriend?"

Thanks Hjulia for the link.

UPDATE: 10:43 PM
No more mountain man - Jake must have gotten Wicked's memo
IHJ - Jake at Staples Center - Clippers vs. Warriors