Thought it was over

....think again.

So Janet Charleton came out with this today as the real reason for the break up:
At last the truth comes out. An acquaintance of Reese and Jake acknowledges that they were very smitten with each other for quite awhile and seemed perfectly matched. Unfortunately, Jake had a habit that Reese could not live with, and he wouldn’t give it up. He smoked way too much. And we’re not talking nicotine here. Not only did it rub Reese the wrong way, but she worried about her children being exposed to his bad habits. So, regretfully, she moved on. Note: those of you who insist that Jake is gay are NUTS.

Seriously?

Now what does it sound like to you?


Because it really sounds like Reese is upset that the JIG rumors persist and she is not coming out ahead in this one, just a whisker or more like a beard behind.

And saying that she dumped him because he "wasn't low" makes her look like she is the better of the two and so morally upstanding.

But in the end it doesn't matter what she has them say he did, she just needs to shake those gay rumors off of him, because it is affecting her future plans and that is not acceptable.

Cabo Cabo

Yeah, so what are you doing? Me? just here talking to you .
Where ? Outside along the pool.
Yeah, I am resting my foot.Yes I'm being careful. Oh not about my foot?
Wait Reese is trying to get my attention.Hey I gotta go. I guess free time is up.

Do you look knocked-kneed? I don't think so. [What the hell?]
You know if you worried about being knock-kneed you can do exercises.
Yeah that's it, stand on one leg now bend the other leg. Do that a couple times a day.
No way do you look like a flamingo. It's totally going to help. My physical therapist told me about it. Yes I'm sure.
[Oh yeah can't believe she is falling for this after the unicorn thing]
Ok, now to call him back. Think she will figure it out?
Naw. She's too busy concentrating.
That was fun. Sure I'll catch hell later.
Wait a minute. Was she making fun of me? I don't have knocked knees. Do I?

The Great Unicorn Hunter

(Fine gotta do this, well I'm going have some fun.)
Look Reese, a Unicorn!
A Unicorn! Where? Where's the Unicorn?

Look Jake A Unicorn!
(Oh, you've gotta be kidding me)

You know it could be.
You never know where they'll show up
(She's falling for this?
What the hell is that she's point to?
Is that a flag pole and a menu board?)

Look Reese another unicorn!
(Game on!)

Well I'm making sure this time!
(Shit! Busted)

You've reach Unicorn Hotline please hold
....music playing...
"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost with out you"
(Oh crap, keep your cool Gyllenhaal, don't break, what the hell?)

....I can't be to late say that I was so wrong...
....all Unicorn specialists are still busy.
Please continue to hold.

(What the hell is that? Is that a goat?
A poodle!!
Who would do that? How do you do that ?
Why didn't I do that to mom's poodle when I was little?)

Come on it was a joke.
I had to have some fun.
Give a guy a break.

I'm not talking to you.
You're a unicorn teaser.
It's not nice to do that to a girl.
Tell her you see a horn.

(heh heh she said horn,
ahhh yeah, she's pissed)

Wha? No! It can't be!
This can't be real. Can it?
Doogie?!?

Yes Jake ... yes it's me.
People's Choice Award winner Neil Patrick Harris.
Need someone to talk to buddy?

NPH.....

Shhh..shhh...it's all gonna be alright.
It's gonna be alright.

Remember to vote in the New Features Poll!

Half? Quarter? Eighth of a Nelson?

Little more brotherly than wrestling hold , Jake shows his round the neck with sister Maggie back at the premiere of Secretary at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2002. Even here it doesn't read either natural or a comfortable position but more "one more picture smile" . Not the relaxed Gyllenhaal sibling embraces we have seen at other times.


Seems to be more of a Texas hold'em move. But who would know about that? Hmmm.










Has to be low blood sugar or late for a reservations right? Couldn't be anything else could it?

Seems that Jake and Reese downtown tour included dinner at Prune. A tiny chef owned restaurant, with a homey feel, Gabrielle Hamilton and most female kitchen crew create hearty, elegant and seasonal New American cuisine. Prune has gotten rave reviews and even warmed the culinary cackles of cantankerous chef Anthony Bourdain. Definitely a Jake kind of place.

Duck, Duck, Goose

X17 -- Jake Reese Romantic??? date Pics and Video

Flynet - Jake Reese Smile for the Camera

Jake of the Jungle

Going totally old school -- Grandmaster Flash said it best:

Dont push me, cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to loose my head
Its like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under


And so does Ted - check it out:

"Couples Cashing In?

Since Reese and Jake have taken their relationship to the trick-or-treating level, we've got six more suggestions for fam-friendly outings! Plus, could booby babe Pam Anderson be having more hard times? Say it ain't so!

If you regularly read this column, you prolly know we haven't exactly been gulping down the Gyllenspoon Kool-Aid like the rest of the rags, wonder why? Something about the sudden PDA sessions in front of the paps right as Rendition premiered smelled stinky to us—among sundry other suspect celeb goings-on.But that was all before we saw the pics of Jake (or supposedly of Jake, as he was wearing a giant gorilla costume) trick-or-treating with Reese's tykes, Ava and Deacon. 'Cause, surely, if southern sweetie Reese is not only introducing Jake to her kids and having them all spend holidays together, there must be something more to their relationship...right?

Unless...of course, it's all just one big PR ploy to sell a dead movie, and certain other parties—who mysteriously don't make it into press-release-esque photos of the dimpled duo—have always been there in the background, too, and Reese and Jake are just good buds. For ince, could Ryan still be hangin' round, trying to slink back with his fresh ex? Just a question here, dearies, and a preachy proviso to not always gobble up everything you read, this missive included.

In any case, since Reese 'n' Jake seem to be serious about whatever it is they're embarking on, we Awful busybodies came up with a Sick-Sick Six tally for more family (and photo) friendly outings the two hons should so plan:

6. Hike Runyon Canyon: Jake can bring his great gams and two pooches along while the whole happy clan goes thigh busting (Reese breaks a mean sweat at many things, don't forget) in the Hollywood Hills. Love!

5. Hit Pinkberry: Come on, what kid doesn't love dessert? Plus, this frozen whatever chain is popular with H'wood types, because if you binge on it, supposedly you can still squeeze into your skinny jeans. Who cares 'bout all that fake crap it's filled with—hey, at least you'll stay svelte. Reese and Jake gotta keep those figures fab, right?

4. Head Down to Disneyland: It's called the Happiest Place on Earth for a reason (and we don't just mean because Lindsay really knows how to get hap-happy at the joint). 'Cause, really, you can't quite call yourself a celeb couple until you've gotten pics together wearing those mouse ears, n'est-ce pas? Bonus points if Ava, Deacon and Jake can convince Reese to ride Space Mountain with 'em!

3. Take Your Very Lives into Your Hands, Darlings, and Go to the Grove: Reach out and touch those who actually seem to be buying this silliness that you all are the hottest twosome since Pam 'n' Rick. This outdoor shopping center, complete with cinema, Cheesecake Factory and an actual trolley you can ride on top of (not sure Jake would like, though) is one of the best spots to bring your kids, if you like that breeder kinda thang. Paparazzi are allowed inside, ensuring easy access to headline-hungry A-listers. It was one of Victoria Beckham's first stops with her boys when she moved here.

2. Go Get Mani-Pedis Together! Hey, the fam that pampers their piggies together, stays together. Just ask Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman, who are often seen getting their tootsies done with daughter Lily.

1. Get Floor Seats at the Lakers Game: We already know Jake's a basketball fan, as he used to hit these games with Austin Nichols, like, all the time. And if Reese isn't into B-ball, she'll just have to pretend. Think ya can, girlfriend?"

Thanks Hjulia for the link.

UPDATE: 10:43 PM
No more mountain man - Jake must have gotten Wicked's memo
IHJ - Jake at Staples Center - Clippers vs. Warriors

Stranger Than Fiction

Everybody knows that your life is a story. But what if a story was your life?

In Stranger than Fiction an IRS auditor suddenly finds himself the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire life, from his work, to his love-interest, to his death.*

Sound familiar? Is Jeese - Harold Crick? And the narrator not the voices of one narrator but the collective voices of the everyone calling them on this sudden and public relationship.

It seems that the chatter in magazines, gossip site, blogs of all kind, including the Toothy, Jake, or Jeese varieties are bringing up questions and two days later we see the next act played out before us.

Its like surreal modern theater,but not improv though - no that is too risky. It is the public who gives the writers the plot lines to work with, then to the TPTB for revisions and rewrites, off for a read through and then you see it in a day or two later.

In some ways you wonder if this is how they are approaching this whole thing. Small acts of a multiple act play. Go on stage play your part, leave and go back home.

Will Jake be like Harold Crick and convince the writers to change the ending to the story. Maybe to let him have the ending he really wants, instead of the one is now has to play?

*from IMDB.com

IHJ - Jake Reese Halloween Trick or Treat

UPDATE: 1:12pm

TMZ - Jake's Pap Smack

UPDATE 3:25 pm

IHJ Media - Jake in Beverly Hills - October 31st.

Hurt

What a Difference a Day Makes

'Cause I can play the part so well

Weekend Box Office Summary
1 30 Days of Night (2007) $16M
2 Why Did I Get Married? (2007) $12.1M
3 The Game Plan (2007) $8.12M
4 Michael Clayton (2007) $7.1M
5 Gone Baby Gone (2007) $6M
6 The Comebacks (2007) $5.85M
7 We Own the Night (2007) $5.5M
8 The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) $5.14M
9 Rendition (2007) $4.17M
10 The Heartbreak Kid (2007) $3.9M

The beard doesn't look so good.


But here it works.


"One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,"

Cape On Cape Off

Opened up one of the Boston papers this morning in on my commute and found this.

Oscar gal Reese Witherspoon had her kiddies, but not her boyfriend, “Brokeback Mountain” cowboy Jake Gyllenhaal, in tow yesterday when she took in the 146th Annual Martha’s Vineyard Agricultural Society Fair in West Tisbury.
The Hollywood honeys have rekindled their romance in recent weeks after a two-month hiatus, and are spending their summer hols with Reese’s kiddies, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3on the Vineyard.
However, there’s been buzz that the “Walk the Line” lady and her brood aren’t bunking in at Jake’s family’s digs up-island. She’s staying with other friends nearby. Because doesn’t all of Hollywood spend its summers on the Rock????

Looks like for one --On Cape and the other Off with the Cape. Is Jake with his real number one girl -- Ramona?

Here is the rest of the story courtesy of the Inside Track girls.

Reese Makes the Farm Scene, Minus Jake