Poster by Keith Haring
Happy National Coming Out Day to all, both closeted and out! We tend to think that coming out happens only once in a person's life. But actually it is something queer folks have to do over and over again, as they meet new people and encounter that default setting of "straight." Coming out is always a work in progress for all of us. My wish today is that everyone who is closeted will challenge themselves to open that closet door just a bit. May the day come soon when the word "closet" is only used to mean a place to store things.
Visit HRC's coming out page for more information on the 20th anniversary of National Coming Out Day-
HRC - Coming Out
42 comments:
My view on this is that Jake would rather be out, but he is realistic (for his particular situation). If he has to spend decades in the closet to get the parts he wants he will do. That's not a criticism of Jake, but he's an ambitious young man. Austin has said he will do "whatever it takes" - I think in the cut-throat business of HW they're both willing to put up with the closet. JMO. :-(
(Of course, if BabyTile were true that would change things, but I'm far from convinced about that.)
I think they both would rather be out. I admit I do have a soft spot for Austin about this. I am sure that Jake's management sees him as more of a problem that needs to be solved than a key part to Jake's happiness.
The question about coming out is something that must come up again and again for them. It must lend itself to some intense moments filled with truest emotions.
I wonder if Austin's "whatever it takes" also applies to their relationship too? I don't think he is the only one with this attitude, I think Jake is as committed to Austin as Austin is to Jake.
As ME said "A love that strong, that secure, a love able to weather all manner of shitstorms and PR twisters, a love willing to wait, grow, hold each firm and safe is...well, a rare and precious thing indeed."
And I think what threw me about Jake's picture from the Rendition premiere is that his face looks a little fuller. Look at his cheeks and around his eyes.
The fuller his face the younger he would look. He is playing the younger brother in Brother's. If he is trying to look younger than Toby I can see him gaining a little to do that. Who knows he might have to ditch the beard too.
But that shirt and tie don't work. With his face fuller he needs to open up his collar and give him as much neck as possible. Hopefully the stylist will get shirt with a narrower collar and wider spread or better yet, let Jake go sans tie and an open collar.
He looks much older with that beard and with a fuller face.
8:31 Hi! Do you have a name?
I think if (and it looks like when) he shaves the beard off with his fuller face, he is going to look really young. And that maybe why he is keeping it for the Rendition interview for now.
Wicked might get her wish --no beard.
And Wicked --great post -- it is a great reminder that coming out is not just a one time thing but something that is done over and over again.
I'm just wary, Special K, of over-romaticising Jaustin. They could well be deeply in love, and who knows what promises people make to each other. (That's not fan fiction as the trolls always say, men and women do fall in love in all sorts of situations. Though I'm beginning to think trolls don't ;-))
To be realistic even people in love disappoint each other and let each other down.
Who knows? I think it's almost impossible to know the reality of any r/ship, even those which are open. I don't think Ted's BI can even scratch the surface of this one.
Good Morning All -
What a great way to start the day, a rousing, upbeat song for a very important day! I have always loved Keith Haring's artwork too.
Happy National Coming Out Day to all who have made the big step and especially to those who are considering taking that big step. Show the world how beautiful you truly are! :*
^over-romanticising I meant!
Convinced --
Everyone has their troubles and it's not like these two haven't. There have been stops and starts, blow ups, fights and friction. No relationship is perfect. There is alway this chatter about their relationship being tumultuous but I think what it really is more passionate. As bumpy as things get it looks like they need each other and come back to the realization.
Real love, is not alway pretty, sometimes it is down right an ugly mess. It is real when it is a mess and you realize despite the mess that is, you still love the person in the mess with you. There are days you don't even like them, but you still love them.
Do they have that? Yes I think they do.
^^That's for sure, Special, everything you said! :)
Yes, great post, Wicked. I think it's very easy for those who are straight to forget or to not even recognize the fact that coming out has to happen repeatedly because of the "straight" assumptions that are made by most people.
On another note, there's more news about Milch's new HBO project and the remote chance that the "Deadwood" movies may still have a chance. I keep hoping that Austin gets to work with him again.
Link to Article
I see what you're saying, SK.
"There is alway this chatter about their relationship being tumultuous... I remember somebody being quoted a long time ago as saying a mutual acquaintance called their friendship tumultuous. It always struck me as an odd thing to say about str8 male friends. Love affairs are tumultuous, not friendships in my experience.
Jake and Austin cant celebrate this day publicly. I feel bad for them. Hopefully soon.
Mean while we all can. Happy Cominng Out Day everyone! Str8 and gay.
Got a question for the tbs here: is there a sense of relief that the recent clue pointed directly to Austin? Were tbs starting to wonder deep down if we had id'd the wrong guy for the bf? :-)
I can't say I was relieved because I realised that I based my tb-ness on a lot more than Ted's clues. There was no way, IMO, that the bf was anybody else. Nice to see it confirmed tho'.
It was more of confirmation, I have always believe Austin was the BF.
Has there been one other person who really make Jake grin like that? And you even know when Austin is there and is cut out of the picture, just by the expression on Jake's face.
Special, I may not agree with everything you say/post 100%, but it's nice to know there's another Jake fashion maven out and about. :-)
The Twins must've been on holiday when Jake picked out this ensemble for the evening.
I took Ted's mention of the Grey Goose for BF Tile as confirmation. I really didn't have too many doubts that Ted's TT BF was referring to Austin all along, though.
I think the point about coming out being a lifelong thing is important and something that is often not talked about. Once you take the first step and decide to come out to someone for the first time, it's hard to go back and it's going to be work you'll have to continue. It shocks me that even now that I still have to come out to people. That straight default setting is hard for many to overcome.
I'm glad there was a confirmation but I have been sure the bf is Austin for a long time. It's not just Ted's clues that point to their relationship: Austin's giddy interviews and the wipe down video during TDAT, the timeline of their break-ups, the Lakers pictures I-III, the edited beach photos and Austin's visible disappearance after all the gossiping in 2006, the ring(s) that Austin _always_ wears, the way both J&A glow when they are pictured together ect. And this is only what I gather from Austin.
The evidence has never pointed to Chris or anyone else in my opinion.
I, too, have never doubted that Austin is the bf. The BIs, the photographic evidence, the timelines of certain events, the disappearance of Austin and depressed, unkempt Jake following Lakers II, Ted's direct references to Austin, etc. etc. have had me convinced for a long time. I'm just happy to get confirmation because it's tiring to hear arguments insisting that Chris or someone unknown to us is the bf. Of course, what we consider confirmation, is still being spinned into something else by certain parties. C'est la vie!
I've never thought it was anyone else either, but I love to get confirmation, after confirmation - in the absence of PICS, confirmation is good.
Jake does not need to do much in my opinion to look younger than Tobey. Look at those pics of the two of them together.
The beard does not help making Jake look younger at all. I think his face looks fuller because the beard makes it look so. I read somewhere Jake might be growing the beard because of his character in Brothers has one?
Thinking about the different ways friends have come out to me. Each had their own way, some quietly, some bluntly and others bursting with the news. But there was a similar theme through them all - they are wondered my reaction and if I would still accept them and be friends.
Why wouldn't I be? They were my friends before why wouldn't they be my friends now.
^^Exactly, Special. It upsets me to think that friends would wonder if it would make any difference - No, never, would never change how I feel about them; in fact, it would mean even more to me that the friend trusted me with something so personal, and I'd feel even closer to them. They could always count on my support and friendship. Sorry to get a little emotional. :')
I have to admit, sometimes my belief in J&A has waivered a little bit, what with all of the stories, spinning, and conflicting information, but deep down, I know it and especially so when I get those little confirmations. :)
I lost one friend over coming out. It wasn't a big loss. ;) Anyone who will not accept you after coming out was not your friend to begin with.
I do understand how they would be concerned if I was going to still be friends with them. It can be very scary thing.
Coming out is very courageous thing to do.
I felt honored that several times I was one of the first people my friends came out to, it showed that me that I was someone that they trusted and felt comfortable enough to take that big step. I hope all my friends feel like they could tell me anything no matter what it was.
New Pictures of Jake over at IHJ.
Back to Joan's on 3rd with his publicist.
IHJ Jake Out to Lunch 10-10-07
Lainey's take on the Rendition premiere
Nice post Wicked. I think the same thing can be said of society. While a lot has changed, we still have a long way to go, and for me this day seems more like a sad reminder--I know I know, there is a lot to celebrate. Maybe I'm just feeling sad about J&A because I think they would be completely out if they didn't have real fears about their careers. :-(
Just read some vitriolic messages on WFT, which made me sad but also made me reflect on what Austin said in that interview 'the shit' being said about he and Jake. Obvious example right there. Makes me wonder if that is the primary reason for not coming out. How much of that shit can you take publicly. This is not like someone walks up toyou and tells you shit. This is people saying shit and being horribly offensive on public forums, websites etc. Can you take it. Sure being an actor mean you need to be prepared to public scrutiny. But being called repeatedly a co***sucker and that's all you are good at requires a lot of bravery...
Happy coming out day to everyone who has the courage to do that, or has had it or is planning to. It is not a pretty world we live in.
More on Farragut North.
It looks like Leo will be playing the screen version of the communication's director for presidential candidate in Beau Willimon's play. As well know Jake is scheduled to play the lead on stage for Mike Nichols' production.
Who knew communication's directors were that good looking. First guidance counselors now communications directors. What's next accountants?
NY Magazine: Jake and Leo - Broadway and Screen
All those pictures of the Rendition premiere remind me of the contrast.
When Toothy is with his Gray Goose, he's supposed to be hiding how he feels then too. Only problem is he can't hide it. It's written all over his face.
Rendition Premiere video
http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=165753
I saw that and while I loved Jake's usual charm, it was Reece that had me spilling my drink when she said that Rendition was a 'fun' movie!
Destiny wrote: Maybe I'm just feeling sad about J&A because I think they would be completely out if they didn't have real fears about their careers. :-(
Blue Velvet wrote: I think it's very easy for those who are straight to forget or to not even recognize the fact that coming out has to happen repeatedly because of the "straight" assumptions that are made by most people.
I feel so cheap when I come on the board late at night and pick somebody else’s posts to express what I feel, yet here I go again… so thanks Destiny and Blue Velvet. :* :*
Great post Wicked. Work in progress indeed and I truly agree with those who think that intolerance’s best accomplice is often silence, if only because bigots assume that lots of people who don’t speak up privately agree with them.
I notice slight changes around me. Sometimes, surprisingly (should it be so?) in older people. For example, a 70-something aunt of mine recently asked me if my brother had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Coming from that woman this question left me speechless. We had never talked about same-sex couples, nor shared our views about homosexuality, nor talked about our gay friends, parents or acquaintances… Given her age, I automatically assumed the worst about her. :( And she thought I would feel uncomfortable talking about it since my mother was such a “staunch” Catholic… We both had to laugh about it but I sure won’t forget that lesson.
On a lighter note, I haven’t had the opportunity to check Jake’s latest pics… They’re no-nos at work and I just came back home so I’m on my way to IHJ to check his latest look. :)
Ok, just checked those Rendition premiere pics. You know who he reminds me of? Ryan Gosling at the TIFF. Better styled but same flavor which, in my utter ignorance of urban male fashion jargon, I will qualify as "the urban lumberjack look". BTW, is that damn beard the new cool thing for HW actors? :/
You're welcome frenchy :-) I often just agree with other posters rather than writing my own. And I'm really not liking the beard he has now, which is supposedly for Brothers, so I guess we'll have to put up with it. Maybe Wicked's anti-bearding brigade can go after some of those other actors in the meantime.
And I'm really not liking the beard he has now, which is supposedly for Brothers, so I guess we'll have to put up with it.
He's doing it for a movie? Alright (sigh).
But we still have clean-shaven Austy, right? :) (Let's hope I haven't woken up the Lord of the Beard with this statement...)
Someone on WFT linked this cute video from the Rendition premiere. Jake The Equal Opportunity Flirt is at your service!
Clicky
Okay, so the beard is for Brothers. I must say I'm relieved. I really wouldn't be happy if Jake just thought it looked good!
Interesting video, BLTB! And interesting question from the interviewer about how can a goodlooking guy like you have no date for this premiere.
Little snippet from UK Heat magazine about Friday Night with Jonathan Ross:
"Of all the green-room gatherings we've ever heard of, this is the one we'd most like to have witnessed: Jake Gyllenhaal meets Jordan and Peter Andre. We can't wait to find out what the BBM-hunk will make of Katie Price and her Aussie hunk."
(Jordan/Katie Price is a glamour model who did a reality show and met minor pop star Peter Andre on it. Household names in the UK. Not for their talent!)
"And interesting question from the interviewer about how can a goodlooking guy like you have no date for this premiere."
Was the interviewer just angling for a quote about Reese?
New Post for your Friday.
Enjoy!
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