1. Take one man.
Please note that extra jewelry on the hand and wrists could be dangerous, watches are ok. Please keep any chains tucked in for safety precautions.
2. Add ax.
Safety note : Activities involving axes should done outdoors.
3. Add a Beard
4. And Plaid Shirt
5. Or Puffy Vest
Vests provide warmth but allow arms movements for axe swinging.
6. Remember Safety First. Face guards /shields/safety glasses should have a good fit and have no obstructions to view for daily activities.
7. Add heavy heavy shirt coat when it gets too "chilly" for just a puffy vest. Plaid is an excellent choice.
And return to the woods.
There you have it : a LumberJake or is that the Brawny Man?
Safety Tip:
You should never LumberJake alone.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
How to Make a LumberJake
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96 comments:
FedX! When he positivly has to be str8 overnight. The lumberjack look aint doing it. What it is doing is making Jake look about 45 years old. Hey Ev the guy is 27.
Great post Wicked.
Monty Python - Lumberjack song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg
Great post as usual! :)
What ever happened to that cowboy hat Jake was supposed to have bought for Halloween? I saw him as a gorilla and as Freddie.
Maybe he bought it plus a tent to take home as a Christmas present for Austin.
I have a feeling we wont be seeing Jake in clogs anytime too soon.
OMG this is hilarious!!! LumberJake, lumberjack, the song, the comments by Tom... :D Thank you!!!
In all seriousnessness :) the boy doesn't come back. Jake will have decades to look the way he does now. This subject always gets the discussion going, too :D
It's not even the plaid per se. Jake suits plaid, so does Austin :). It's the beard (again I mean facial hair), the haircut and the padding. The plaid is innocent.
Spesh, you made me laugh - especially with the Brawny paper towel pic. It's funny how this song starts out - "Oh sod it - I don't want to do this anymore!" I can just hear a certain someone saying that to his publicist! Jake is always just fine, just the way he is.
Thanks for the smile - :)
can we add a few pictures of plaid clad Austin please? Pink plaid at ACL for ince.
If that was Jake's publicist he was having lunch with "busty brunette" lol makes you wonder what she tells him. "yes, Jake, you and Reese are on the cover of the tabloids this week. You're a very popular couple".
You are all right and it reminded me of a safety tip I forgot. But I updated and added it for safety's sake of course.
Just to add about the publicist, she was with Jake at TIFF, too. I have to dash off to work, I'll have to enjoy this post later! :)
Hilarious. Oh great, now he's morphing into Jethro Clampet. Seriously though , sadly this is her style, not his.
Pretty soon, he'll be carrying a buckshot rifle, wearing a coonskin cap and drinking moonshine. ... World's hottest bachelor? Warm maybe, but not hot, not anymore. now he just looks tired. OMG!, what a great blog.
you aren't suggesting that someone is Granny are you?
Wow, Plaid Austin too - I love it! ;) Seriously, he seriously gorgeous.
Wonderful post, Special! And those pics of Austin at the end - woot! Will keep me warm throughout this frigid day. Thanks!
One thing more -
Clothes, in this case plaid, doesn't and can't make the man.
A man, a true man is one that lives his life with integrity and honesty, regardless of whom he loves.
I thought Jake would have realized that by now.
Have a fabulous day, OMG!
Sorry Special. Thanks you for todays post.
Well Thanks to Wicked and Special for all your posts. Everyday gets better at OMG.
Sorry to say it Jakey but your BF pulls off the Lumberjack look better than you. Maybe it is the beards. They have to go.
Lumberjake! – LOL! He really has been looking like a lumberjack lately. It’s a look that works for some people, but it’s not my favorite for Jake. Good thing he has some backup from Austin.
I was also interested in Ted’s latest. I can only hope that it’s true. I really don’t think we’ll see Jaustin again until Reeke is officially over.
I really like that pic of Austy on the right. I always think of that look he giving as his "quizzical face."
You are on a roll Special, ever thought of being a comedy writer? And you can add my name to the list of people who do not like the lunberjack look. He's waaay too young for this.
And you've given us another artist who was openly gay from very early on, Monty Python member Graham Chapman. He came out in the 1970s and was actively involved in pushing for gay rights.
Wow, hilarious two days in a row. I love it. As usual, Austin looks phenomenal in those pics. Sad to say but these days he is looking much bettter than Jake. I expect to see him show up on the hot and sexy lists soon.
Yes they are Wicked.
The Mrs. is reading Michael Palin's diary. He kept a diary during the Python years. She says it's really good.
Reese is back to work.
http://www.pagesix.com/story/reese+s+sex+ban
LOL
That she is. So much fun to work with that Reese.
Posting (subject) from last thread..
Jake seems as if he was tired of what he called (BIG HAIR). I did like the Jarhead look (didn't think he would look that good almost bald) and I like the length his hair is now. I also like his beard, although it could be more shadowed. Sorry folks, I like his haircut. Jake's has a big head and I am surprised he was able to do big hair for so long. And Sorry again, Austin looks so much better with scruff on his face. Sometimes clean shaven is Good, but some facial hair is SEXY. Especially if it's groomed!!
I wanna ask everyone a favor. Take a look at the close up pic of Jake with Ryan on his back and the pic of Jake at the door yelling at the pap. Look into his eyes. Do you all see what I see? Its heartbreaking.
My heart breaks for Deacon in that pic. He doesn't look at all happy to be on Jake's shoulders and his fists are clenched, he's obviously not happy. I feel for Jake too, but he's an adult and this situation is (partly at least) of his own making, but that poor little boy has no choice in the matter. Very sad.
To be honest, I think Jake looks absolutely gorgeous in pic no 4. Not so in pic no 7. I don't think that Austin shirts have any lumberjack feel to it. The pattern is madras.
Tom, in the same pic no 4, Jake was wearing the clogs, so he is still rocking them.
Reese is back to work.
http://www.pagesix.com/story/reese+s+sex+ban"
Oh good god, lady. It's a comedy and the scene is comedic. Give me a break. I love that insider, "she's a prude." And this is Jake's lady love, please. Kirsten was a lot of things but prude wasn't one of them.
Tom, there's a pic of Ryan on Jake's back? Now that's juicy, I wanna see that!
P.s. Was Reese in front getting some from Jakey or was she just watching?
Damn no wonder she hopped on Jakes back in Rome, she was trying to get him all hot.
That story about Reese being a prude made me like her a little more. I wouldn't want to do a love scene with Vince Vaughn either! VV was actually hot there for a quick minute, but that minute is long gone.
^^We know that - we are just going for the plaid here.
Thanks for adding Austin :) Especially the dark red JfC "Norman Rockwell" pic *sigh* he looks stunning in those clothes ...
Project #2. Take a look at Lakers 1 and Borders. Look at those eyes. Look at that smile. What a contrast to this weekends pics.. There is nothing but love or some really good wacky weed that makes someone look that happy. There is also nothing in the world worth giving that feeling up for. Not money. Not fame. Not even an Oscar.
No wonder Jake looks sad.
LOL at visualize that :)
I like Vince, I think he's a good actor :)
Refrigerator Reese
Now the question is - Is she a mile high girl? Or a dressing room chica?
Sounds like she is dating the wrong one for keeping it confined to the bedroom.
Wicked, I dunno how much the pg 6 story is true, but the love scene was written when RW signed to do the movie. I think RW's past is coming back to haunt her - yeah she got her damn Oscar (I think it was a deliberate joke on her from the AMPAS voters) but she's havin a hell of a time gettintg the roles and respect she thinks she's entitled to. Hence the bit parts (she got slaughtered by the critics on her screaming whine in Rendition), a lofty holiday romance movie with VV, the big PR push that she's the "highest paid" (BS --- her PR distributed that piece of crock) and "boyfriend" Jake to reinforce her attractiveness and desireability. She KNOWS she's going downhill fast, all this is to keep her chin up. lol. I don't mind phoney PR ploys, but not never ever at the expense of someone else, especially when it's our beloved Jake.
I just adore quizical Austin, pure perfection.
Special K, was your Refridgerator Reese supposed to be a link? I kmnow Mile High story but I don't get the dressing room one?
I don't mind phoney PR ploys, but not never ever at the expense of someone else, especially when it's our beloved Jake.
You got that right! :)
or our Beloved Austin too! :)
Sharpie --
Kiki was a dressing room chica. And a balcony kind of girl. Reese not so much.
The point I was badly trying make was been the two of the boys, Jake is definite more of the Outdoor Amore guy. If she can't relax and have fun faking it on camera with VV,.....
Wait a minute that is that art imitating life or life imitating art?
: )
The page six story is bull, for starters Reese is also a producer on this movie and the script is not raunchy at all, it's a cute romcom. Also, New Line does not want a rauchy holiday movie because it will limit those who will go see it and they want people to see it. Fred Claus cost alot and did not do well and it was not geared toward the family.
This movie is in no way meant or going to be a wedding crashers or an american pie sort of movie and it will not be rated R, which they both were.
It's just another bogus story with holes all over it.
Anyone claiming authorship of 1:54?
I'm just dropping in to correct some of the information, I claim the post as ann.
A simply search on IMDB would have helped page six before going to press. But non-drama means non-story.
I loved Vince Vaughn in "Swingers." And he was hot then!
2:00 Anyone claiming this one?
Any unclaimed anonymous comments will be deleted.
Pie chart, I think your heart should rest in peace. What bs. I totally dislike this showmance, but please stop making it sound like the kids are in distress because Jake is around. For what? Jake is fun with kids and likes them, why should Deacon be so miserable? Probably he is unhappy about having to walk that's why Jake took him on his shoulders or mybe he is wining because he wants a candy and mommy said no. BTW, aside for making it look like they are in a romance (and they are not) I think Jake and Reese are friends, and I don't see what is so f***g wrong in going out for a hike with your friend and her kids. Big deal, really.
How do we know that Jake is fun with kids?
Ann, Having just checked Boxoffice mojo, at the last count Fred Claus has taken around $96.4 million (including non-US taking). Whichever way you look at it that's a heck of a lot more than Rendition (or Zodiac for that matter).
Also, Wedding Crashers took $285 million worldwide, (on a budget of $40million). I'm not a studio executive but those are the type of figures I'd like to see (Vince Vaughn is certainly not as stupid as he looks).
same way we know he is bearding, sleeps with Austin, etc...
Curioustoo, we have loads of info supporting the bearding and Jaustin. What info do we have about how much fun he is with kids? Saying that you want kids doesn't mean kids enjoy being with you.
Ann
You need to use the nickname option for your posts. If that is not an option, but you name either at the beginning or the comment or sign off at the end. Sometimes it gets lost in the body of a comment.
Thanks
Remember I really hate clean up on Aisle 9.
still curious, the easier answer is that you also have no info supporting the fact Jake is awful with kids. And there is no way to tell why Deacon looks unhappy in those pics. Kids get happy and unhappy within minutes for the most silly of things. Ther are plenty of pics where Deacon has the same unhappy face while being with his daddy too would you say he is in distress around Ryan? I sure think not.
But if you want to use those pics to make the generalized statement that having Jake around puts them in distress and therefore Jake and Reese are a pair of morons and Reese is an awful mother and blah blah blah, fine, hope that makes you feel good at the end of the day.
Today's post is simply hilarious Special! And thanks for giving us the famous "Lumberjack Song"! Now that one is both priceless and timeless. :D
About the lumberjack look... Haven't we seen other celebs sporting it recently? Ryan Gosling? Saarsy? Correct me if I'm wrong. Of course Gosling had the "Lars" movie as an excuse. Maybe Jake's excuse is "Brothers"? Isn't it possible that he's trying to project an image that reflects his new character or that he's simply "caught" in that character's dynamics, including his clothing style? Those who have seen the original Danish movie might have some interesting ideas on the subject.
Curioustoo, we have loads of info supporting the bearding and Jaustin. What info do we have about how much fun he is with kids? Saying that you want kids doesn't mean kids enjoy being with you.
STOP IT, PLEASE! You know very well that what ebony said made good sense. How in the H_ll can any of us know how these kids feel towards Jake. If you don't like Jesse and want to see J/A, that's ok, but let's not act as if we truly know all that's going on especially with the feelings and arrangement of Reese's children.
Let's not see only what WE WANT to see.
^^ and what courioustoo said also^^
We are devoting too much energy to the Jeese RL, it's true everyone looked a bit fed up but none of us knows why. Let's move on.
The page six story - It's just another bogus story with holes all over it.
It sounds like that to me - just one more PR story about "classy" Reese.
And probably meant to counter the mile high club story.
Back to Ted's story for a minute, he quoted an "amiga" this time, not an amigo. ANd while he often just refers to friends, I've generally assumed male until now. Maybe the amiga is the publicist he was seen with yesterday????
Detective Destiny is on the case!
Great catch on that "amiga!" I totally missed that.
I'm having trouble getting back into the groove at work after a long vacation and find myself thinking about far too many other things :-)
Sorry to bring this up again, but I want to clarify my post at 12.56, for the benefit of ebony and curioustoo. At no point did I say, or even imply, that Reese's kids were unhappy or distressed because Jake was around them. I was replying to Tom's comment that Jake's face in those pics was "heartbreaking" and I was only expressing my view that, while I feel for Jake, I feel even more for Deacon because he looks very upset AT THAT MOMENT in those pics, and unlike Jake and Reese, he didn't choose to put himself in a position to be papped.
I hope the kids do enjoy Jake's company, and he theirs, if they're going to be spending time together (for whatever reason), but in that particaular pic, Jake and Deacon both look miserable as hell. I don't know the reason for that any more than you do, I'm just basing my reaction on what I see in the pic.
pie chart, you are making the assumption that Deacon is upset and miserable while you have no knowledge of it. As I said before kids change their mood with the speed of light and for the most silly things. If you think Deacon is upset for being papped, I doubt a 3 year old has a clue of what paps are. Ava for sure knows, but Deacon?
If you look at the recent pics added on IHJ... cannot quite figure how Jake goes from hanging out with Samantha Ranson to Reese Whiterspoon. From DJ with tatoos and edgy personality to the plain cheerleader Avon representative. I don't know whose idea it was, but it is NOT good, and quite certainly not spontaneous. Jake looks like a mess right now, kind of like after Lakers II.
Ebony,I know very well that kids change their mood, and I also know that they find it virtually impossible to HIDE their moods, and that their moods can be directly affected by the mood of the people around them. Maybe before the paps turned up they were all having a great time and like I said before, I hope they were, for the kids' sake, but in that pic, all of them loook miserable, particularly Deacon, and I find that upsetting. But if you think he's happy, fine, I understand that we can all interpret things differently.
And Deacon may not know or understand WHY the paps are there, but he can't help but be aware of them, and I don't imagine it's very pleasant for him - and before any one starts, I'm not just picking on Reese here, she's no more to blame than any other celeb parents.
Jake Gyllenhaal on Date with Brunette Who Isn't Reese with a Dye Job
http://socialitelife.buzznet.com/2008/01/03/jake_gyllenhaal_on_date_with_brunette_who_isnt_reese_with_a_dye_job.php
Anyone claiming authorship of 7:13?
Jeez, it's getting so that you can't tell the spoofs from the real gossip items anymore!
Anyway, Jake looks like he's doing his best Stanley Kowalski imitation here - gotta run! ;)
Ted mentioned the words Jake, Reese and it's over again today in his column. Even had a pic, too.
Not backing away from this one.
G*d, I LOVE Ted!
just drop in to say this is a VERY funny post today! well done. haha.. a friend of mine mistaken Jake as Steve Carell on the cover of Esquire - i think Jake needs to tone down his lumberjack look! :P
didn't go through all the Reeke talk though.... not good for my heart.
From Ted:
Duo Damnings
With what we began yesterday—the harking that dare not speak its name, i.e. the possible end to Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon—
doomsday declarations are the latest rage, n’est-ce pas? I mean, we did start off the new year with that uncoupling of Sean Penn and the always dour Robin Wright Penn, correct? So, we continue. But first, can I say somethin’ here? I just adored it when Perez Hilton first started ripping movie stars' nasty legal reps new anal openings in his column. Was just too delish to read. Sure could use that kind of rabid-ass pulverizing with some of these current People-sanctioned stories, some which are referred to in this very missive. Just a thought.
Ted = ZING!
I love his way with words - "the always dour Robin Wright-Penn" - she kinda has looked that way lately, no offense to Sean. ;)
Sad: The pics of Jake with Samantha Ronson are almost 4 yrs old, from June, 2005. Maybe you don't like her looks/lifestyle now but to me they just look like a couple of normal 20ish kids in those pics.
I just adored it when Perez Hilton first started ripping movie stars' nasty legal reps new anal openings in his column. Was just too delish to read. Sure could use that kind of rabid-ass pulverizing with some of these current People-sanctioned stories, some which are referred to in this very missive. Just a thought.
Ted's calling out Perez and other gossips to stop falling in with the sanctioned party line. Wonder if anyone will stop?
My jaw has dropped between last night and tonight - last night's mention of Jeese, tonight's Perez zinger, tonight's BV, everything.
Ted had to go there and use Reese in the "And It Ain'ts" for tonight's BI. He ain't lettin' up.
Oh yes he does.
And it seems like he is sitting on something else smiling like a Cheshire cat if he is this bold.
And it seems like he is sitting on something else smiling like a Cheshire cat if he is this bold.
Bad, bad cold, have to go to bed early. If you don't mind I'm bringing the grinning feline image to bed with me Spesh. 'night all! :) :)
Ted does seem to be getting bolder and bolder. For a while he seemed to be pussyfooting around Reese while being totally brazen about Jake (could his NYC sighting with the Austin doppelganger have been any more blatant?). Now he seems to have thrown all caution to the wind concerning both of them. He must know that he can get away with it.
Well the big surprise is that the friend talking is female friend of both, not a male. I just wonder who it is. Actually makes it even more beliveable to me. No jilted lover making things up, a real friend speaking.
Ted sure has come out swinging to start the new year. It is about time someone called Perez out for being such a hypocrite.
Go Ted Go!
If Ted is wrong on this one he sure looks bad. He has def put himself out on a limb. He does use the word possible though which gives him a little wiggle room. He has to know about all the events over this weekend and the sighting on NYs eve and repeating tonight what he said last night makes me doubly sure. Damn I hope he is right.
I like to know who was the male friend who complained that Jake didn't have to do this. Austin?
sharpie, I don't know where I said I don't like Samantha's style, I actually do and I think she is quite cool. I know those pics are from June 2005. That makes 2 1/2 year old. I am not sure how you computed 4...
Just viewed the Joan's on 3rd pics of Jake on IHJ. I think he is talking with the paps but not really that mad. His face is way more relaxed than I've seen in any Reeke pics - no tension. Makes it more evident how tight he is in the reeke pics.
Ted had to mention Reese in "it aint' or everyone would think it was Jake and Reese they were talking about. I am also thrilled that Vince V won't take any crap from Reese. But I chalk this up to the age difference. Jake is still only 27 and not as confident in himself. I suspect he was geeky in high school and is not really aware of his present clout.
Sad: Sorry, sorry, twice. I thought you were criticizing SR, and my math is def off. Now you know who not to ask to help you with your taxes.
gossip girl, as Ted put RDJ underneath I wondered (disclaimer, this is speculation) if it might be him!
Ted is being bold. I'm not quite ready to step back in the rollercoaster just yet :)
m, I agree, there was a touch of staginess about J's reaction in the brunette girl in cafe pics.
While we are on the subject of Ted, did any folks in UK watched BBC3's "Most annoying person 2007" countdown? Both Ted and Perez (Perez was on the list himself! lol) were on the show for commentary. Ted's comments are always way more original than Perez's standard industry-savvy BS.
Anyway, when commenting on the break-up of Kirsten and Johnny Borrell of Razorlight (allegedly because Borrell not taking bath for days!), Ted said "Kirsten doesn't take bath that often herself either, but you wouldn't hear about it. But to force her to break up over this, it must be bad" (not exact wording)...
btw, Ted looks good on the show.
While we are on the subject of Ted, did any folks in UK watched BBC3's "Most annoying person 2007" countdown? Both Ted and Perez (Perez was on the list himself! lol) were on the show for commentary. Ted's comments are always way more original than Perez's standard industry-savvy BS.
Anyway, when commenting on the break-up of Kirsten and Johnny Borrell of Razorlight (allegedly because Borrell not taking bath for days!), Ted said "Kirsten doesn't take bath that often herself either, but you wouldn't hear about it. But to force her to break up over this, it must be bad" (not exact wording)...
btw, Ted looks good on the show.
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