Monday, May 11, 2009

Wedding Crashers

Weddings are great. It's a time to celebrate the happy couple and their love and commitment. The ceremony, the reception, family, friends, food, dancing, good times, and hey cake. But then.... oh what can be more annoying than that one person who shows up and sets everyone off.

You go, everythings going good.
You congratulate the groom, who's a nice guy.


And then they show up with someone you're in love with,
looking for publicity and to stir things up.

But everything is polite.
Hey you've lived in LA too long to be thrown by this.

But that does it!!

And you end up nursing a shiner,
or a hangover and talking to a gal pal.

Hey I'm talking about tonight on OTH! What were you thinking?

Watch Austin returning to OTH tonight on the CW.

Pictures: CW and Austin Nichols Journal

59 comments:

destiny said...

LOL! I love this post.

Austin is probably too much of a gentleman to get into a dust up with a woman, but wouldn't you love to see it, and see Reese with a shiner?

Wicked said...

Interesting gay marriage demographics

ted said...

Some of the categories in Who's the Most Awful Celebrity Awards.


Saccharine Pretender

Jennifer Garner
Reese Witherspoon


Pathetic Faker

Judas Jack-Off
Toothy Tile


Rumor Queens

Jake Gyllenhaal
Hugh Jackman


Uncomfortably Unspoken

Anderson Cooper
Queen Latifah

Robert Frost said...

Austin writes a poem about Jake:
http://www.postpoetryonline.com/poetry.cfm?ID=14443

*sob* said...

Oh, my.

How sad. The pain within those few words is palatable.

So sorry, Austin, so very sorry.

Special K said...

You don't know if it Austin - as in Austin Nichols or someone posing as him, writing it.

There is nothing to say who it was who wrote it, you can put any name on it.

And doesn't read like not Austin writing style. It is too blunt, and transparent, and that's not how Austin writes, he writes with more symbolism and more depth.

And the timing reads more like someone is jumping on an opportunity.

IHJ said...

...and Jake is shopping.

whole foods said...

^for groceries.

press now said...

I would imagine that if Austin wanted to post poetry under his own name I think his blog might be a better place. I think we may have some one doing some RP slash here...

That said if Jake marries Reese I think Austin would be better of without him.

charybdis said...

Special,

I'm with you on seriously doubting that our Austin was the author of that poem. It really didn't sound like his writing style -- have you noticed that he seems to keep a wardrobe of unusual vocabulary right next to his Accessories Stash?

Another fab post, btw. I really respect you guys a ton for keeping up a daily pace of good posts.

destiny said...

Interesting article Wicked. I'd read before about the demographic breakdown, but I was a bit surprised at his opinion that things are not moving as quickly as we thought. He's been right on the money with a lot of the elections, let us hope he's wrong on this one.

destiny said...

No way of knowing if Austin wrote that poem, and why not post it on SoGo?. And when you read some of the posts on wft2, the whole thing just kind of has that feel of when we got the phoney DL sighting.

But stranger things have happened.

a dissenting voice said...

Why would Austin post this poem on SoGo? Since it's obvious by the words that the suthor has just broken up with someone, broken up in a very soul crushing way, how would Austin, who has never indicated that he is in fact romantically involved with anyone, explain where all this anguish comes from? Gee, was just thinking about it one day, and thought it would be cool to write about it?

Austin's been a part of the bearding game since day one, he's lied, he's prevaricated, he's hidden in the shadows, he knows how the game must be played. Do you really think he would post a poem on such a high profile blog that would without a doubt point directly back to Jake?

Posting on that site gets the words out there in the universe, out of his head and heart, and to those who will recognize them for what they are.

And to be contrary yet again, to this ear, it does sound like Austin's writing, that scatter like style of short sentences and deep emotions.

I do notice that "Rebirth" is the only poem in the lastest additions that does NOT have an email listed.

I can only hope that Austin grows a pair and comes out.

don't get it said...

Austin's been a part of the bearding game since day one, he's lied, he's prevaricated, he's hidden in the shadows, he knows how the game must be played. Do you really think he would post a poem on such a high profile blog that would without a doubt point directly back to Jake?

Posting on that site gets the words out there in the universe, out of his head and heart, and to those who will recognize them for what they are.
-


Huh?
He wouldn't post it on SoGo because it would point back to Jake, but posting on another site with his full name attached to it, he would even though people will recognize it and think it's about Jake?

What exactly is the difference here?

explanation said...

How do YOU know about the poem? Because you come here to OMG, and what's the typical traffic on this site, and WFT2? If you didn't come here, no poem. TBers are a very small minority, and who listens to us anyway? No finger back to Jake.

On SoGo, the poem goes up, the questions start. Who did Austin break up with, what's going on. what don't I know? Questions begats searching, and searching could no doubt lead to revelations, revelations that would finger back to Jake.

What I can't figure out is why Austin spared Jake like this to begin with.

Poetry Lover said...

If he wanted to expose a truth and a lie (or he was just fed up), then why not post on this site? It's not like it's a high profile site and the audience is different as opposed to the SoGo site.

Wow--if this is our Austin.

too weird said...

Don't know but it's weird we get this now. It's oddly convenient.

kc said...

So what's gonna happen in the next episode of One Goose Hill? Yeah, I think this whole poem business is fiction.

oth said...

Julian comes back to Tree Hill for Peyton and Lucas wedding and Brooke bring Nick Lachey as her date.

Life is stranger than fiction said...

Austin comes back to Toothy Hill for Peter and Maggie's wedding and Jake brings Reese Witherspoon as his date. Melodrama ensues.

Wicked said...

As someone who has Google alerts for Austin Nichols, I can tell you there's more than one Austin Nichols in the world. Who knows about the poem.

Rilke said...

If that poem's for real, don't know who to feel most sorry for. Austin, because he's come to the end of his tether and finally given up on Jake (about time luv really). Or Jake, for being suh a tool, that the pursuit of transitory fame and (not so) transitory fortune would result in him losing a gem such as Austin.

In the long run I think Austin may come out better, yes, he'll suffer a broken heart, but that will mend and he'll hopefully meet a real cutie who will actually appreciate him.

Jake will be stuck with Reese, and will have to jump to every call Jerry B makes in the coming years. All because mommy dearest needs to live her HW dreams through her son.

On reflection, Austin maybe should have written that poem a long time ago.

flf said...

Sorry don't believe in Austin's poem. Could be anyone writing it. In this crazy TT saga, one thing I have learned - Never, never believe what you read straight away. Let it rest. Time will tell. Hell it took 2 years to confirm Austin was still in Jake's life :)

norwegian girl said...

i have no idea if it`s our austin who wrote this poem. i can`t tell the difference between a good poem and a bad one.
one thing that is clear though, is that this austin is heartbroken. he says what he feels without any names and you don`t know if he talks about a boy or a girl.
very clear to me the wounds are deep, not enough time for heeling to start yet.
friendship is the word he chooses before love and trust. could be a friendship that has gone wrong, but if so, it would have been an intense one i think, judging from how he described the feeling when hearing that person`s name.
it just seems to me this person really didn`t exactly know the difference between friendship and love when it came to the one he talked about.
like it was all mixed up. like a chaos.
coul`d have been anyone else but also our austin. i know i would have felt let down if i was in his shoes, ecpessially after the wedding-thing.
i just hope the austin who wrote the poem will feel better soon!

norwegian girl said...

if this poem isn`t fake though;)

norwegian girl said...

i also want to say to destiny and pg, i love that you both are always saying what you want under you`re names, and so often!
i don`t mind people using different names. not at all!
i just love when people do, like you two, just because it`s easier to know what you`re point is.
always looking forward to read what the two of you like or dislike. you`re two tough women:)

norwegian girl said...

http://nph-fan.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=21436&fullsize=1and here is the cutest boys in the world...well, except from my dear husband:)

norwegian girl said...

something went wrong, so just click on "gallery":)sorry

:) said...

The cutest boys in the world

norwegian girl said...

ahhh, thank you so much,:) C",)

Florida Tom said...

Amazing poem if indeed it was written by Austin. Cant say I blame him. Could be that the wedding was the last straw. I think Jake took reeke much further than Austin ever thought he would. Jake is a confused weak young man and is being manipulated by two very domineering driven women.

destiny said...

Thanks NG. I always enjoy your posts too, and am glad you've been posting again.

I saw Outrage tonight, the documentary about Republican politicians and the closet. I really liked it (my gf not so much). It really shows the damage that these politicians have done with their votes, and how different ones who are out act. I also found it just interesting in general in its discussion of the closet.

prairiegirl said...

Hi ng! Wonderful to see you. I always love seeing you visit. I like made up names, too, they can be funny, but I've never used one here. I know it must get tiresome to see my avatar like 3 times in a row sometimes, but on here, I just use mine always.

Anyway, I just had to get on here and say how much I enjoyed OTH tonight. sigh & double sigh, lol.

My brother is in town overnight & so my sister & I went over to Mom & Dad's to spend the evening. We all watched DWTS in the living room, me in a dining room table chair while my bro took the new La Z Boy recliner with excellent lumbar support. I'm sure he also had the remote control; I never saw it tonight nor got a sniff of it. Anyway, I was engrossed in DWTS until 8 o'clock and then I had to turn the little TV on in the dining room and I bounced back & forth constantly until 2100.

I could've cared less about anyone else on there tonight except for Brook & Julian, lol. I was totally besotten tonight in the storyline. It was a little corny, but hey, who wouldn't have wanted Julian trying to make you jealous with a "skanky" girl. LOL, it was funny to see Brook all jealous. It was great to see Julian all jealous. I have it taped (hopefully) on my VCR so I can watch it again. But I couldn't lay off of it tonight. So all those pictures we saw of Austin off set in the black suit was what he was wearing in this wedding episode. Here I thought it was his own attire.

And poor Peyton. Now, that was sad. What a terrible way to end their wedding night.

Since I'm on here, I'll just say that at first I was all in a panic when I read that poem, but then the more you look at it, that writing style isn't anything similar to how he's written so far on SOG. And that's also not how he's been penning his name. And why on earth would he write something so painfully obvious on a blog to go out to all of cyberspace at this particular time? It's too perfect. And lastly, why would he just keep stabbing himself in the gut like that, spilling all his pain for the whole world to see?

Makes you all kinds of suspicious, doesn't it.
And like Wicked said, there could be lots of Austin Nichols out there.
I wonder if it's not a plant, myself.

Because to me, it's funny the lengths that some things have been taken to during these past entire couple of years to always try to counteract, head off at the pass, try to disprove, try to displace, try to jockey for position, and/or try to outshout.

Back when everyone was talking about the wedding and Her Witheredspoon being there, I still had to put up the legrest on the La Z Boy recliner & say "Show me the picture". For all the excessive photos of the bikeriding, the stone & concrete cuddling, and the slow-motion slideshow of every maneuver at the airports. For all the insider reports on how well the family time went and how warmly she is accepted by the entire Gyllenhaal clan. And for all the tapped out photo memory cards documenting every Reeke love outing we have had since the beginnning with Rome, it kind of surprises me that more people don't question why we have still been deprived of one shot of Reese inside that courtyard.
We had in one of those pictures all 3 of them: Jake, Mr. G, and Mrs. G. in the same lenshot. Where was Reese? Or let me put it this way, where was the clear, undeniable shot of her? Are you kidding me that we wouldn't have gotten that shot? We get blemish seeing zoom lens shots inside restaurants, at chili fries stands, & in the bleachers at nighttime at music festivals, but we don't get a single one in that courtyard.

I'm still waitin' for it. When I see it, I'll stop bringing it up. But until then, you won't convince me at all that she was there. And they could have 1001 pics of bikeriding, sightseeing, and luggage checking, but what I want is the courtyard pic. So, in the meantime, what I have are the bookends, but no great novel to go in between.

I reckon that's a pretty cheeky comment & I just might get what I ask for, but at least I'd know the truth, right?

And while the Wish List is out, what about the other side of the coin? Where's Reese's family? Has Jake been to her hometown with her to visit her family? In 2 years now, this has never come up that I've seen. It's been a priority in the rags to see how well Reese is accepted into his family. Well, what about Jake into hers? I don't even know anything about Reese's family. How many siblings she has. I've heard she has a brother, but that's it.

Okay, that's it, I'm done. Haven't posted in awhile, so it kind of spilled out, apologies.

destiny said...

Haven't seen OTH yet since I was out at the movies, will catch it tomorrow on dvd. I hope it's not as sad as I've been fearing.

Did just watch that Britain's Got Talent bit you linked to Special, it's so unbelievable that voice came out of him, and yet amazing because it did. I love things that challenge your beliefs about people like that.

flf said...

PG, you make some good points. Personally I don't think Reese was at the wedding. If she was, why didn't she travel together with Jake? oh yes, she was filming, they say. where's the proof? why wasn't he seen getting off the plane in Italy? because the thinking was Jake has gone to join Reese in Philly! But he didn't. see how this story twists around itself? I think if Reese was at the wedding, we would have got a glimpse of her in the courtyard. Instead we get a love fest in the dust.
I also don't think if Austin broke up with Jake he would write poetry about it on the worldwideweb! I think that poem was aimed at TBs. Why?
I think someone was really pissed off with what was said here about the Brindisi photo op and the US Reekly article. What do they think, that if J & A broke up we would pack up and go home? haha, you wish!

I think all the negative comments around the blogs about Reeke are taking it's toll. Disney must not be pleased.

Rumor Queen - Jake Gyllenhaal... Queen?!

flf said...

Yeah, I would like to see Reeke with Reese's family too. Where are they? Is Reese's brother still in jail or is he out?

Special K said...

Austin back on OTH.

Wedding reception was totally jr high dance flashback. Julian making the digs and 98Degrees jokes, getting in a fight. Dancing with his date while looking at Brooke and Nick Lachey. And he and Brooke trying to one up each other with the pda with their dates.

Oh 8th grade you are so tough! You know with a canoe and paddle it could have been the end of camp dance too. Haley and Nathan would have had to be the horny Counselors in Training.

Liked Julian facing down Victoria. Go Julian Go! And he looked with the shiner.(From Nick Lachey)

Great to see Austin and Hilarie have a scene together and you can tell they are friends off camera. Schwann and crew will have to write more for them.

Special K said...

Some will say it's Disney, but to me this read pure Witherspoon.

Jake gets noticed over the weekend for Prince of Persia, and everyone talking about him. And not Reese and Jake.

Then People's Couple Watch come out with this Monday morning.

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, sharing French fries as an appetizer while lunching at R & D Kitchen in Santa Monica. "Reese looked adorable and very happy," an eyewitness tells us, adding that the couple engaged in "fun conversation" during their meal. The two kept dipping their fries in a little cup with ketchup and split a burger and salad. "Jake was very attentive and filled up Reese's water glass a few times," adds the eyewitness.

And JJ releases the PDwhadahu? pictures from Brindisi (the one's we've all seen) today too.

I don't think Disney did this. Why because they wouldn't have ham handed it this much. And they want the focus on Bruck, the movie and Jake and those abs in Prince of Persia. But I think Ms. R couldn't have Jake getting PR without her for a second weekend in a row. Kind of like showing up in Italy 500 miles from the wedding and getting seen and no one else did. (oops! my bad!) And kind of how there are magazine covers on the weekend big things happen to Ryan's career.

Just observing m.o. that seems to be linked to Ms. R. But kind of makes you wonder about who calling the shots doesn't it? Just a little?

Meg said...

Totally agree Special, the usual cheesy phrases such as "Reese looked adorable and very happy" & "Jake was very attentive" come straight out of the Reese pr handbook. Surprised that there wasn't the old favourite "she's so tiny".

Hopefully, Reese's pathological need to constantly be centre stage may help speed the end of Reeke. As you say, Disney want PoP to focus on Jake, the abs (now more than ever convinced these are stick-on), and Gemma A. Pretty sure J Bruckheimer didn't spend $$$$$s to end up promoting Reese. Maybe they'll realise that Jake is easier to market single (but straight folks, he did date Reese) than as Reese's gopher. Maybe wishful thinking on my part.

Hope the 'poem' doesn't signify the end of Toothy and GG. Jake obviously needs a major kick up the arse to bring him back to some form of reality, maybe things happening behind the scenes are doing that. Who knows eh!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if Reese's brother quite fits into the "I'm just a little girl from Tennessee" spiel Reese gave it during her Oscar speech.

Where does "sexual battery" come into the "gosh-darn-it, we're just good folks" image?:

Reese's brother arrested for burglary and sexual battery

that was me not an anon said...

I don't know if Reese's brother quite fits into the "I'm just a little girl from Tennessee" spiel Reese gave it during her Oscar speech.

Where does "sexual battery" come into the "gosh-darn-it, we're just good folks" image?:

RW's brother arrested

yeah but said...

And why on earth would he write something so painfully obvious on a blog to go out to all of cyberspace at this particular time? It's too perfect. And lastly, why would he just keep stabbing himself in the gut like that, spilling all his pain for the whole world to see?

I can see all that makes sense, but quite a few posters commented on how low Austin sounded on his "Texas vs Italy" post on the Southern Gothic blog.
He was an English major. It wouldn't be totally beyond belief that he might write poetry, albeit badly!
Would he release it into the world with his own name because he's so pissed with Jake? Maybe.
After all how many people would really know he was talking about Jake?

Wicked said...

Awww NG, they really are so cute. So NG, tell me, how do NPH fans like David? Are most NPH fans fans of NPH and DB as a couple too?

flf said...

"Would he release it into the world with his own name because he's so pissed with Jake? Maybe."

Jake has been bearding for almost 3 years. There's no need for Austin to get sooo mad now that he has to write poetry on the www!

Sure don't mind if Austin dumps Jake tho'! I'll still stay here and bitch about Reeke!

norwegian girl said...

yes wicked. the fans of nph are fans of nph and david as a couple too and like seeing photos of them together:)

the edge said...

"Jake has been bearding for almost 3 years. There's no need for Austin to get sooo mad now that he has to write poetry on the www!"

People have their breaking points. Like, say, that they really really wanted to go to Italy?
You've heard of drunk texting. Maybe this was drunk poeting.

prairiegirl said...

I don't know, but I can't be convinced at all that this was written by him. The writing styles are so different it's not even funny.

Like flf says, I think someone wants TB'ers to believe it was him writing it. It's waaaaay too obvious.

I agree, Special, I loved the dance-off. That was great. And the 98 degrees comments. lol.
Austin can dish out the smirky comments with just a great twist of his mouth, can't he?

I liked the scene of him & Peyton, too.

I hope my tape came out.

prairiegirl said...

The two kept dipping their fries in a little cup with ketchup
lol. As opposed to what?

Well, I suppose it could've been ranch. But still. snickerand split a burger and saladMust've had a big breakfast.

lol. Who was this insider? Or else, who writes this stuff for People? Either way, it's comical at the least.

realistic said...

I get that some people really don't like Jake and would love it if he got punished for the bearding. If it's in a public way, even better.

But let's assume he and Austin did break up. That still means they spent several years as a couple, obviously loving each other.

Do you really see Austin as someone that would air the dirty laundry between himself and someone he once loved in such a public setting as the internet regardless of how hurt he is about it?
It's not like he doesn't have friends who know about him and Jake.

I give him a little more credit than that.

i don't see pr in this said...

"Do you really see Austin as someone that would air the dirty laundry between himself and someone he once loved in such a public setting as the internet regardless of how hurt he is about it?"


How public is it really?
Those who don't believe Jake and Austin were ever an item would have no interest in the poem, and wouldn't know what the subject was.

It's quite possibly some internet hoaxer did it. Anybody could post as Austin Nichols.

I really don't think pr would bother writing a poem.

tbs are a varied lot said...

I get that some people really don't like Jake and would love it if he got punished for the bearding. If it's in a public way, even better.

I don't want Jake punished at all.
People do break-up, though, and sometimes behave a little badly/crazily when they do?
Are tbs so reluctant to accept the possibility it might be Austin because it might mean an end to Jaustin?

posted on WFT2 said...

February 2009:

Dear Ted:
Just to start setting a Valentine's Day mood, I'd like to ask you, what is, in your opinion, the greatest love story in today's Hollywood? Is it Toothy Tile and Gray Goose's endless, complex, beautiful and ever-forgiving love story?
—Miranda

Dear Unrequited Love:
Are you kidding? Toothy's tale is more like Hom-e-o and Juliet—there's nothing great about it. Expect an equally bitter and potentially tragic ending, too. At this point, I'd go with Ellen and Portia."

Seaweed said...

Good Morning everyone.

I'm with realistic above.

Besides the fact that the style seems so different from his other writing and that it plays on the emotions of Toothy Believers makes me take it with a grain of salt.

Just stay calm and watch Jake in case he begins to display any of the horrible symptoms we saw years ago when he and Austin were on the outs for period of time. Back then he was one very sad puppy!

I watched the POP clip with Mr. Bruckheimer and Jake and must say the it was interesting to see Jake in action but with the photos and the action stuff his abs look so puffy, slightly bloated, much like a layer of latex with belly hair attached. Just MHO. But, what I did feel near the end of the piece when Jake was talking about working on the movie in Morocco was my gaydar pinging like crazy.

I'm off for two days and I think I'm going to sit down and watch Bubble Boy again with the commentary on, then I'm going to listen to Jake narrating 'The Man Between the Towers' so I can immerse myself in the distinctive voice of his.

Cheers...

S.

destiny said...

Are tbs so reluctant to accept the possibility it might be Austin because it might mean an end to Jaustin?xx

Sounds like Varied Lot has an agenda to push, perhaps the author of that poem? Why do I say that? Because you ignore the fact that some of us here would be just as happy to see Austin dump Jake, me and flf, to name two. And the two of us are skeptical too.

And I'll admit it, I would like to see a film that is being promoted by bearding not do well because I want to see that whole system fail. I think Reeke will continue and be used to promote PoP, just as it was for our first look at Jake in PoP, because Disney loves to use couples for promotion. Look at Zac and Vanessa.

varied lot said...

"Sounds like Varied Lot has an agenda to push, perhaps the author of that poem?"

No way! I'm a tb. I love Jaustin but I can still acknowledge the poem might possibly be by Austin.

I did not write it.

Wicked said...

***the fans of nph are fans of nph and david as a couple too and like seeing photos of them together:)**

Cool!

For everybody who wonders if Austin wrote that poem- why not ask him at SoGo? If he did write it, I don't see why he wouldn't fess up.

reba said...

If he wanted it to be seen on SoGo wouldn't he have posted it there? I think he'd deny it.

Sienna said...

Count me as one in the camp who won't do anything to support anything touched by Reeke. I'm not buying anymore magazines and i'm not going to anymore movies or buying anymore dvds. And maybe it's petty, but in my secret, evil heart, i do hope that POP is less than successful, because i'm so sick to death of the players, from disney on down.

and to whoever mentioned it, i agree: straight or gay, Jake definitely pings on the ol' gayday, even when he's dressed up like a warrior and sporting muscles out to there. and in that one shot of him on the horse with the girl behind him, he has his "longing for ennis" face on. i'll never see that expression again and think of anything but Jack Twist pining for Ennis del Mar.

charybdis said...

Is it just me, or does the Reese-centric Reeke publicity seem to do a disservice to Jake? (I'm reacting to the People story posted above, among other things). Jake seems to be relegated to being an adoring, obedient, attentive courtier to Reese. To my eye, this seems to be all about counteracting the sense that she was rejected by Ryan (has anyone else noticed that Ryan is only now attractive again after years of being the charmless accessory to Reese). But Jake is not well served by this narrative.

It has been said that Jake's management has for a long time been urging him to stay in the closet -- and who knows, there may have been a "present a 'family-friendly' image" clause in his PoP contract. But I think he allowed himself to get talked into a bad deal signing on as Reese's publicity boyfriend. (And please please tell me that the rumor that he's paying her as part of the deal is false.)