Monday, December 1, 2014

'Scape Rate

There are all kinds of ways to rate movies.  Thumbs, tomatoes, stars.

And there are all different things to rate about movies.

So inspired by Jake's latest picture of Southpaw, where nary a hair can be found on his frame,  we rate Jake's movie with the 'Scape Rate -i.e. how much manscaping it took to get the look.

City Slickers

It's a kid.  Give him a haircut and he's good to go.     0 pots of wax

October Sky

Barely old enough to shave,  there wasn't much hair on the chest way back when. 0 pots of wax

Donnie Darko

Clean up the brows a bit, a shave and throw in a haircut -good to go.  1/4 pot of wax

Bubble Boy

With an arch that rivals Joan Crawford there was some step up to waxing, but left those limbs au natural.   1 pot of wax.

Lovely & Amazing

It was more hair dye than wax, but Jake was still keeping up with the defined brow.  1 pot of wax.

The Good Girl
Keep those brows thinned, and a little clean up on the knuckles during those manis. - 1 pot of Wax

Some hair wax to make his hair stand up, it was pretty much the color and that spider face paint that was the center of this look.  2 pots of wax.

Moonlight Mile
A little cut and color.  Clean up a bit for the show scene in the beginning.  1 pot of wax.

The Day After Tomorrow

On screen he is gets to show that perfect amount of scruff.   Off screen there was some serious manscaping for sure (with assistance - no doubt  ; ) )   3 pots of wax in a homage to those 3 chicken that got them  heated up.

Keeping up with GOOP --- 3 pots of wax for that alone


Shaved, high and tight,  - wait are we talking about hair or Jake's tiny heiney?  It was a Marine effort to get the balance of looking smooth and slight rough around those (great) edges.   3 pots of wax.

Brokeback Mountian

It wasn't about taking off hair, but the tricky use of hair to age him over 25 plus years with a little work for those tent scenes.   2 pots of wax


Fincher kept him in the era and did 70's natural and sideburn'd.  2 pots of wax - because it's Fincher.


Sculptured that chest hair for a memorable opening scene and with the Zevon of molded hair  - 3 pots of wax


The first time for a beard, and a tattoo.  2 pots of wax for the learning curve of the first time.


You thought it was about the doofy congressional hair, but then you saw this and you knew they found the money for some wax.   3 pots of wax.

Prince of Persia

The Rachel hair, the Disney prince precise level of hairy chest,  you know there were many many meetings across the House of the Mouse.   3 pots of wax for the teleconferencing alone.

 Love and Other Drugs

Whatever it took it was worth it.   4 pots of wax 

Source Code

Make him look like a history teacher - the well groomed Supercuts look gets 2 pots of wax.

End of Watch

Not only did he lose the beard, but lost all of that thick hair.  That's a shave and a half - every single day.  3 pots of wax


The tricky 90's pop haircut and tattoos gave prison to 2 pots of wax.


Double the role - half of the maintenance.  It was a low maintenance  with keep the beard and work the hair, and let the fur go free.   1 pot of wax.


Skinny, smooth and the man bun.   2 pots of wax.


He let it go and let it grow  - but there was some trimming and smoothing when he lost the coat... sweater... shirt... pants...  1 pot of wax.

No hair anywhere.  They just dipped him in and ripped it off.  He had to be yelling "Kelly Clarkson" by the time they were waxing the abs.  5+ pots of wax.


Florida Tom said...

New York (AFP) - Dale Scott, a Major League Baseball umpire for 29 years who worked three World Series, has become the first openly gay referee in any major North American sports league.

Very nice. Pretty big deal.

the real m said...

I am always amazed at how quickly Jake can go from hairless to hairy. And with a little help, the reverse is true. Cute post. Not sure how I feel about Southpaw. I've been watching Kingdom on TV, which has had only a few fight scenes so far, and even my husband found them hard to watch. Brutal sport.