Thursday, May 19, 2011

StarMoonstruck

Jake popped down to Urth Cafe in the family truckster yesterday for a little carrot juice and coffee.

Good thing he didn't run into Rose Castorini.
What the hell happened to your hair?



You... you got a love bite on your neck..... what's the matter with you? You're life's going down the toilet! Cover up that damn thing! Come on, put some make-up on it!




Nip of wild turkey perhaps?

40 comments:

ewww said...

Yuck. So now you're highlighting blemishes and trying to pass them off as lovebites? That's sick.

not a hickey said...

Oh, come on, you know that's not a "lovebite"! lol. Sometimes I think you're screwing with everyone just to see how far you can go with this stuff.

And if he can't ever be seen with these BTs what's the point of a "Family Truckster"?

Special K said...

Covering all the basis. Let's eliminate all the other things you are going to claim is:

Nicked himself shaving - oops has a beard

Mosquito bite - do they have mosquitoes in LA right now?

Spider bite - because they always go for the neck.

Vampire Bite - they do go for the neck but wait those are only in books or on screen

Ran into a flat iron - ahh not enough hair

Tranquilizer Dart

His necklace cut his neck

Tsetse fly attack

Bee Sting

Allergic reaction to the strawberry candy with just one hive

Blow Dart

They threw in a free Carotid artery test at the Dr's

Ran with Scissors

Attack by a runaway remote control helicopter

Atticus mistook his head for a giant tennis ball

and

That's what happens when your team mixes up figuratively vs. literally when they say they're going for the jugular.

Geez said...

Spesh, it looks like nothing more than an angry zit. Thanks for covering all the bases that nobody except you would have thought of. I.e., everyone else will recognize it for what it is. Geez. Bad enough he gets them without you shining a spotlight on it.

Proactiv Solution said...

Jake! Call us!

austin tweets said...

Sorry for my absence. I am writing a script for all of you. I hope you will like it.
5 minutes ago

Florida Tom said...

I think Ted put out that letter today just to smooth over the waters a little bit. It hasn't worked for me. I am not feeling all warm and fuzzy. Jake has went way to far. He should be ashamed of himself.

Bomer is awesome Destiny.


Have fun PG, M and M and the real m.

Ma, I love Him Somethin' Awful said...

It made me feel better to read Ted's letter tho. Cute post today. One of my favorite movies ever.

prairiegirl said...

^^^ I love that line in that movie (Ma, I love 'im somethin' awful). There are so many favorite lines from that movie, I cannot begin to count them.

ITA said...

I totally agree. I need to watch it again. :)

tweet said...

@dr_bombay
sending out happy birthday wishes to Pete Townshend (http://bit.ly/irGOGA) & Grace Jones (http://bit.ly/iWINvg) today. PS- thx J. Gyllenhall

the real m said...

I was happy to see Ted reaffirm things. Not that I was doubting, but it just makes me feel better.

I am still seeing the latest pic on line, most recently at ONTD where Jake is being called a prude for even caring about the picture. Their take on the damages - "As for the publicity and Lanham Act claims, Gyllenhaal might have to trot out experts testifying to the value of a market in Gyllenhaal underwear photos being damaged by the appearance of this image. Who knows? Maybe Gyllenhaal really could be the paid spokesperson for Fruit of the Loom."

safm.COM said...

Some celebs love their privacy whilst others let their 'friends' take pictures of them in various stages of undress.

And then there is Jake Gyllenhaal, our new favourite terrorist-busting actor, star of Source Code.

A picture of the actor has surfaced showing him doing a ballet pose wearing just white briefs and a pair of rather unflattering socks, or is it?

The fresh white briefs appear to hug the Hollywood actor's torso whilst he pretends to be a flamingo.

One can only imagine it was taken as a laugh or perhaps Jake was auditioning for a role in Black Swan II.

It's not the first time the actor has been snapped wearing less/more than you'd expect. Appearing nude alongside Anne Hathaway in 'Love and Other Drugs', the star has also been papped by a fan in a bathroom. Getting the picture anyone?

What we want to know is who took it and are there anymore?

Seriously hit us up on Facebook or contact The Dirt team directly on paparazzi@austereo.com.au.

Tell us do you think this is Jake or a doppelganger?

ABC News said...

Jake Gyllenhaal sues over underwear photo

Jake Gyllenhaal's lawyers are scouring the internet in an attempt to eradicate a picture of the actor that purportedly shows him stretching in his underwear.

A letter was sent to a few websites, including Queerty.com and Buzzfeed.com, in which Gyllenhaal's lawyers claim that "as anybody could tell from a cursory examination, this is a fake picture, in which our client's head has been pasted on the body of another person."

Gyllenhaal's pose in the photo is said to resemble an album cover pose of singer Grace Jones.

The photo might be a nuisance to Gyllenhaal, but the legal campaign seems to have backfired.

"We're keeping the photo up, since it hasn't been proven fake and because their letter bumped it from 'funny and cute' to 'actually newsworthy,"' reports Queerty.com.

Gyllenhaal's lawyers allege the photo violates the actor's legal rights by "portraying him in a false light, violating his right of publicity and constituting a false designation of origin in violation of the Lanham Act."

- Reuters

Hollywood.com said...

Jake Gyllenhaal Claims Underwear Pic is Defamatory

We haven't done a WTF of the day in quite a while, but this would definitely be one of those stories. Jake Gyllenhaal and his band of lawyers are trying to prove that a photo circulating around the internet depicting what appears to be him in his underwear, striking a Grace Jones pose, and looking pretty good doing it is defamatory. I'm sorry, but WTF?

The lawyers sent a cease and desist letter to Qweerty.com and Buzzfeed.com after both sites posted the photo as something irrelevant and funny. While Buzzfeed caved to their demands, Queerty says they'll keep it up because no one has actually proved it's not legitimate and because the fact that they received a letter makes it "newsworthy."

Okay, I get that Gyllenhaal says it's not him and if you've seen the photo (here), you'll agree it's certainly possible that it was photoshopped. So, alright, it's potentially not really him and if that's so, it technically portrays him in a false light. Yes, it falsely accuses him of having strong enough abdominal muscles to stand in that pose, and it false portrays him as light-hearted enough to let someone take a picture of him doing it. We get that. But this is bad why?

First of all, if it is photoshopped, welcome to the internet, Mr Gyllenhaal. Second of all, either way, does he really think that this photo would affect his ability to be cast in films? He's a decent, very attractive actor with beautiful blue eyes and chiseled features. That's why he gets cast in films. Did anything bad happen to Matthew McConaughey's career when he was found high as a kite, playing the bongos in his birthday suit? Nope. Because he's an alright, very attractive actor with a Southern drawl that attracts women faster than a Diane Von Furstenberg sample sale. Basically, while the lawyers could technically be right, and they may be able to rustle up a few folks who'll testify that this could hurt his future paycheck-garnering ability, but you know what? All this hullabaloo over a stupid internet photo is ten-times worse for his reputation than the photo itself. If he keeps this up, he'll end up looking like a bratty, self-important actor and even if that's who he really is, your average movie-goer just may not be that into buying what he's selling any more.

Source: THR

ABC News said...

Jake Gyllenhaal sues over underwear photo

Jake Gyllenhaal's lawyers are scouring the internet in an attempt to eradicate a picture of the actor that purportedly shows him stretching in his underwear.

A letter was sent to a few websites, including Queerty.com and Buzzfeed.com, in which Gyllenhaal's lawyers claim that "as anybody could tell from a cursory examination, this is a fake picture, in which our client's head has been pasted on the body of another person."

Gyllenhaal's pose in the photo is said to resemble an album cover pose of singer Grace Jones.

The photo might be a nuisance to Gyllenhaal, but the legal campaign seems to have backfired.

"We're keeping the photo up, since it hasn't been proven fake and because their letter bumped it from 'funny and cute' to 'actually newsworthy,"' reports Queerty.com.

Gyllenhaal's lawyers allege the photo violates the actor's legal rights by "portraying him in a false light, violating his right of publicity and constituting a false designation of origin in violation of the Lanham Act."

- Reuters

destiny said...

I'm kind of amazed at how many places are weighing in on what a bad move this was--and of course the letter just drew more attention to the whole things.

destiny said...

Bomer is awesome Destiny.

Yes he is Tom. Counting down the days until the 23rd when he's on JImmy Kimmel, and until the June 7 return of White Collar and hopefully more interviews.

Methodical Muser said...

There's something either about the photo itself or maybe the person who took it that is bothering Jake's people. As I've said before the picture of him with that sultry stare, taking off black nylons is far more "compromising." Several posters are now wondering if the only reason he reacted like this is because the pic is real. Way to go Jake. Don't your people know anything about damage control and laughing stuff off. This pic doesn't damage your image, your handlers do.

Not only are people calling Jake a prude, but they are disappointed by the reaction because the photo made him interesting and fun again.

Methodical Muser said...

Have fun PG, M and M and the real m.

Thanks, Tom. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with PG and meeting the real m. Weather should be great after an extended period of rain and thunderstorms. We will be exploring the age old question, "Will lobster taste better from the Pacific or the Atlantic?"

Special: This is a Seafood Throwdown

Methodical Muser said...

I remember several posters from the old WFT discussing how Jake enjoyed giving and receiving lovebites.

Yep, that's a hickey alright. I believe it's already turning purplish. Nice to know that Jake's gettin some lovin' from Goose. I'm sure he needs the consolation given the Internet backlash from that defamation nonsense.

Lol said...

You're crazy. It's a zit. Anyone with eyes can see that.

A Zit by any other name said...

You people are a hoot! Now I know you're just yanking everyone's chain. A hickey "already turning purplish." Too funny!

lol said...

Poor loons...the newest pics on IHJ just confirm that it was a zit. LOL talk about making sh!t up

http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/albums/1946/004.jpg

Special K said...

Actually the mark is still there just smaller as they tend to shrink and not fade all away.

And a blemish is usually is raised because the skin and pore is inflamed.

Funny how you didn't see that with Jake.

Special K said...

Jake's very fastidious about his grooming, don't think he would be getting zits on his neck.

And Jake's complexion has changed in the last few years, he has outgrown the zit thing.

crap said...

SK, do you hide behind the shower curtain while Jake "grooms" himself. LOL!

Special K said...

No it's that I actually remember interviews he's done where he's talked about taking 3 showers a day.

suck it up said...

Doesn't look like a blemish to me and it's not a subaceous cyst, which is what would be more common in that area of the skin. A hickey seems like a reasonable conclusion because that is a common place for one and the skin is not raised or inflamed.

Of course, trolls can't stand Jake getting some from his man. Guess they would rather have him be celibate. I prefer for him to be loved-up myself.

lol said...

LOL! The loons latest 'evidence' of J&A being married - a spot/blemish/bruise on his neck. Thanks for the laugh LMAO!!

stinky said...

How would SK/MM know about hickeys? Wouldn't one have to be in a relationship even casual to get one?

No one out grows zits, people get them for various reasons all their lives.

Just because Jake says he showers 3 times a day doesn't mean he does, he lies remember? He sure the hell didn't look like he shpwered even once a day when he was on tour.

;) said...

He doesn't lie about how many showers he has, just who he is having them with!

ewwwwww said...

LOL the two spinsters getting moist about a fake hickey

derm said...

Jake's very fastidious about his grooming, don't think he would be getting zits on his neck.

Oh good gravy! One has NOTHING to do with the other or didn't you ever learn the basics of dermatology growing up?

hygiene 101 said...

No it's that I actually remember interviews he's done where he's talked about taking 3 showers a day.

Cleansing has absolutely nothing to do with zits.

Methodical Muser said...

Ah, the old -- I don't have an argument so let's make up stuff about posters -- again. Tsk, tsk. I'm truly devastated. Not at the lame mudslinging, but at how thoroughly counterfactual such grasping-at-straws speculations really are.

And, by the way, how did one go from disucssing zits to Jake and Austin being married? No one brought that topic up. But, if you want to know what is the likely scenario, Jake and Austin were engaged in 2005 and married in 2008. You're welcome.

prairiegirl said...

I just wanted to state that I have not posted any comments but the one last night about Moonstruck.

prairiegirl said...

In case anyone was trying to hijack my blogger id. Not trying to say anyone cared if I posted or not, LOL.

Methodical Muser said...

Hey, I care, PG! Love you new avatar.

Gee said...

Trolly attacking regular posters instead of making any kind of rational argument. Worked up much over Ted's latest about J&A I guess.