Friday, March 26, 2010

NicholMan

For full effect watch the video of Craig Ferguson from two days ago:



Did Craig Ferguson say he named his dressing room after Jake?
Because he whaaaaat? He fantasizes about him.

Something must be done.

Yeah I'm talking to you Ferguson.

I will defeat you.

These hands are trained deadly weapons.

I have my NicholMan Power Action Ring on, bouncing the sun off it's high polished surface to blind you.


And behind these stylish dark shades my steely stare will stop you in your tracks.

My white and stunning smile with these bow lips will have you giddy as a Scottish school girl.
You can't hide behind your mug of evil Ferguson

or behind your puppet gang.



I am not afraid of your Robot Skeleton Army either.

But they are no match for us.
Isn't that right Davola? My trusty sidekick monk.

For you and I can stop Ferguson and his robot skeleton puppet army from keeping Jake all to themselves.

For only I and several millions of people around the world should think of Jake that way. Not just one sad bastard late show host to have him for his own comedy.

Come Davola! We have work to do. We must infiltrate the audience.

15 comments:

duncan jones said...

@outsideorg hah! Jake jumping out of a moving train today! Weeeee!
about 6 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to outsideorg

Today is stunt work & effects day! My kind of day!
about 6 hours ago via TweetDeck

Friday! I love you Friday. You are like a mini Christmas, once a week! about 7 hours ago via TweetDeck

manMadeMoon

ted said...

Dear Ted:
Since Toothy and Grey's careers aren't doing so well, any chance that coming out would improve their lot? Maybe make people want to see them more since they would be less boring if they were gay and acting straight.
—S

Dear Talk On Town:
T2 and G2 may get a whole lot of tabloid buzz if they come out, but both of the dudes are still totally terrified they won't get the roles they want if studio types know they're gay—especially Toothy, who loves his heartthrob status.


Dear Ted:
Two questions: Are two of your favorite gay BVs, Crescent Kumquat and Judas Jack-Off, native of the same geographical area? And why do Toothy Tile and Grey Goose have couple issues? (Toothy dropped/was dropped by his beard and seems happy about it, Grey only use his fag-hag for red carpet events and very rare paparazzi set-up pictures, they're both working as usual, so it should be like their second honeymoon phase instead of the "Is it your CD or mine?" moment).
—A

Dear Blinded by the Slight:
Just like with straight couples, gay couples suffer from competitive career-itis, too. As is the case with Tooth 'n' Grey. And no to the geo query.


Dear Ted:
Don't know if you're up for rescue cats, as well as dogs, but I have three of them and volunteer one day a week for a local no-kill shelter. My question: Is Toothy Tile George Clooney? Because I'm sure he's gay. And he always looks unhappy in photos with his "dates."
—Icarus

Dear Cat Lady:
I've got love for all rescue pets but G.C. is not T2. Maybe George should bring his flask to more outings then, because he looked fairly smiley at the Oscars.

Bitch Back

Special K said...

Jana Kramer (Alex)did an interview before she went to film the finale in Utah. Thought you would like this one little bit of the interview.

Is there a moment or storyline that stands out to you with Alex?

Jana-I think my it's scenes where I break down with Austin Nichols' character, cause he's just a phenomenal actor to work with in general. He really brought out the best in me, too. He's awesome.



If you want to read more about Jana and her heading to Nashville for some studio time to work on some country music, check it out here:
Jana Kramer goes from Tree Hill to Nashville

Stubborn TB said...

If Ted is right about there being tension I wonder if it's Award season related.
The reason I'm saying this is because I seem to remember Ted mentioning some tension between TT and GG a few years back and if I remember correctly around Award season as well.

I could see Austin being a little bit annoyed because people are treating Jake like an A-Lister and him as the plus-one.
Add to this that during parties they probably make smalltalk about what kind of projects they're involved in right now.
With Austin having to say "I'm doing some indies, but uhm, mostly OTH right now..." while standing next to Jake rattling off his projects I can see how something like that might get to him.
And with Jake probably stressed about his own problems, with work and with the kids, he might not recognize Austin being hurt everytime and it kind of builds up until they start fighting about something completely different.

Variety said...

I'm confused as to WHY and HOW Ted would think Jake's career isn't going well right now. He's the star of a big summer tentpole blockbuster that (even if it's crap) is bound to make a lot of money when it opens Memorial Day weekend and he's also starring in a film that's getting a lot of buzz. And he's currently filming a thriller with a hot director. And yet Ted thinks his career isn't going well???!!! Huh? Am I not seeing things clearly? I don't get Ted one bit.

destiny said...

I don't see people getting excited about seeing PoP, the way they did with say Alice in Wonderland. PoP will have to make a boatload of money to be considered a success, given its cost. If it doesn't do well, Jake may be viewed as not being able to put butts in the seats. Movies like Iron Man and Pirates were huge hits in part due to the draw of RDj and Depp.

I seriously doubt Austin was even the "plus one" at Oscar events. I think we would have heard about it. Ted always makes a big deal in his blind items about gay stars that are seen at events with boyfriends, he's never said that about TT and GG. So some of the competition may not just be the work, but the fact that Jake goes to all these events, and gets to mingle and make contacts that might lead to work.

prairiegirl said...

Yeah, I'm not getting how there can be any worries with Jake's career unless, despite PoP being a big moneymaker (which it should be with Disney behind it), PoP does indeed not do well at the BO and Jake not come out of it looking too good. But I don't see that really happening. Seems like Disney really knows how to market their movies, even the ones that aren't all that whippy.

I can easily see Austin feeling a little outshadowed at the present time. They should be used to it though from either side and it's not going to be the last time it happens if both guys want HW movie careers. I say they're going to have to buck up. Buck up or they won't make it.

Career jealousy & envy has got to be a frequent issue in HW. Seems like both parties would have to work really, really hard to make it work.

I'll be curious to see how Austin tackles this. What will be next on his agenda? OTH was not the route. That show was not conducive to his talent or career. The guy has alot going for him; don't know how he could be down at this point. He went for it and so it didn't quite work out ratings wise. It's not his fault. I say kudos to Austin for doing TV. There is success in television - look at the movie screen people who do television now and to award success.

Prayers for Bobby was a film to be proud of. It had a message and who knows who it had an impact on in real life.

Guess one of the things it comes down to is do you want to do movies/TV in order to just win a bunch of awards and smile into a shower of camera flashes or do you want to do movies/TV to feed your creativity, esteem, talent, growth and of course, the pocketbook as well? It would be a struggle, I'm sure. They're only human.

I would agree, Destiny, that the parties, all the TV talk shows, the dance card that Jake has right now if it does not include Austin, would bound to become an issue, I would think. I'd not thought of it until Ted brings it up. I don't know how you deal with that. Austin's just got to get out there and find his treasure.

And if PoP does become any kind of success? Watch out. It might take something incredible to keep them together if Austin doesn't get a project soon. Seeing how Jake feeds on attention, I could only wonder if it wouldn't create real problems.

Well, the movie hasn't even come out yet and I'm conjuring up all kinds of Jaustin Doom. LOLLL. Kind of useless although interesting to speculate about.

prairiegirl said...

Kind of awake right now after my 2 hr nap when I got home. Talk about crash and burn, lol.

Special K said...

Austin went to the Oscar parties back in 2005 we saw Claire, his ear and Jake in a picture. Sorry Austin was not that well know in 2005 to score the big Vanity Fair invite on his own.

This year it looked like Austin in that Gawker picture of the pre Oscar party. And imagine him getting that as plus one.

I'm sure that Jake wants Austin to be there with him. It's pretty much known in the industry that they are together. So I can see them wanting to go together.

I remember watching a documentary about an artist in New York and her long bf who also an artist too not just the artist of the moment when they were dating. He was talking about how he was listed as guest, sometime didn't get a place card, left off list, seated at back tables, not supposed to be invited or sometimes was just basically ignored him.

The guy also interview David Furnish Elton's now husband who said before they were married he was left off lists and not even sat with Elton at tables or events. And everyone in the world knew they were together. I guess Elton pitched a holy fit one night at an event when it finally got to David, and Elton demanded that everything be changed and David be seated with him. So I can only imagine how it could be for Jake and Austin.

Now Austin, as an actor,
has been to the GG party for JFC, and this year he went to the big WB party with Sophia because of OTH. Both of those were really work related.

Special K said...

Remembered what the documentary was it was called "Guest of Cindy Sherman".

It was about the relationship between photographer/artist Cindy Sherman and artist Paul H-O.

twitter said...

Jencess: dude. if i had to pick between tobey and jake, mr. gyllenhaal would most definitely be my brother of choice. and by brother i mean lover.

ERiiiN: One minute and 30 seconds into Moonlight Mile, and a Jake Gyllenhaal shower scene is taking place. A+ so far.

maddiexists: Watching Brothers and eating chinese food. What's better than Jake Gyllenhaal and fried rice?


Foreign languages but you get the gist!:

linemel: "Brothers" is mass! =) Tobey Maguire, Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaal dando show! Jake is mto gato! Aufiser! Tobey Maguire ta horrible.

lilydarko: Jake Gyllenhaal is still til a mtl? if so I would like to apologize davance pcque if I finished the cross, jvais wet my pants live XD

twitter said...

levis517: @moronmoron Gyllenhal and Gere are totes effeminate men! Too much for ME even and I am mega into girly guys. Just not THAT girly.

MorsmordRae: I had to rewind Jake Gyllenhaal dancing around in his Santa hat in "Jarhead" three times today for @LibbyG64. Damn those 40+ hormones.

prairiegirl said...

LOL. That very last twitter was a hoot. Rewind 3 times. LOLLL.

Hey, that was a fine muscular butt.

But I'm also looking at these pictures of Austin again now and I tell you what. These snow pictures are beautiful, that's the only word I can think of.

Austin looks downright devestating. Dark sweater, dark hair, a great smile, beautiful complexion and shades against the backdrop of pure white snow.

Oh - and did I forget to mention those curls????

Gorgeous, gorgeous pictures.

prairiegirl said...

I look at his hand in that 7th picture down and it looks awfully similar to the hand in that People mag picture of Maggie's men.

Oops, gotta run.

Seaweed said...

Really enjoying this post Special. Not sure what kind of evil lurks in your mind at times... but Me Like !