From the sublime(yesterday) to the ridiculous...
It's wedding day in Tree Hill. And you know who is tying one on the knot.
BrookeDavis(TM) might get a wedding but maybe not the wedding of her dreams but by God she is going make sure all the attention is on her. IT'S HER DAY! SHE DESERVES IT!!! She needs to look better than anyone there, so why not stack the deck. Here's BrookeDavis'(TM) tips for a perfect wedding.
Pregnant maid of honor who will make you the bride look skinny. Kid as the best man, so short no one will see him and you don't have deal with your groom having strippers at the bachelor party, heck they won't get a bachelor party. And finally make sure they find the worst fitting tuxedo for your groom. It's your day and you paid enough for your dress, no one else matters.
Psst.. Run Julian, I'll do some stupid kid thing to distract them.
Junebug and Mama,Salami Free Wedding - and no bees.
And when you say wedding and Tree Hill it means nothing but crazy drama, secrets and twist. So here are the top ten secrets that could be revealed at the wedding.
OMG's Crazy Tree Twists that are more plausible than anything seen on OTH.
10. Millie relapses at the reception and after 12 runs at the tequila shooter ice luge Coyote Ugly's on the head table at the reception.
9. Weddings mean hook ups. Mouth ends up as Chuck's wing man. Chuck scores!.... a flower girl.
8. Taylor Swift's tour bus breaks down in Tree Hill and is the Wedding Singer. "But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts"
7. Julian's evil twin sister Juliana comes to Tree Hill (dual role for Austin) as a rival fashion designer of BrookeDavis(TM). Alexis/Crystal cat fight in the fountain moment.
6.When asked if anyone objects to these two people getting married, Chad Michael Murray shows up as....... Nick Lachey. (Stay out of it Nick Lachey!)
5.MamaDavis and MotherBaker let it slip about their post Thanksgiving get together after a half dozen boxes of Franzia wine.
4.Haley going into labor during the ceremony? no. Quinn. For an episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant". The child is named "BrookeDavis". So touched BrookeDavis(TM) allows it without any trademark infringement.
3. Julian tells BrookeDavis(TM) he's Richie Rich rich, AFTER she signs the prenup for 64 bucks and a slighty used Kia.
2. The stoner dog who ate Dan's heart crashes the wedding and eats the entire buffet, the wedding cake and Julian's pants.
and the number one secret twist for the last OTH wedding:
Great Scott. Maury Povich reveals that Dan Scott is the father! of Julian, that is, from a secret affair. BrookeDavis(TM) has now slept with all the Scott boys.
Toss up do Maury for Crazy Tree:All in the Family, or sign the rights for Lifetime Movie Crazy Tree: Brotherly Love - The BrookeDavis(TM)Story
34 comments:
Today is #twowheeltuesday. RT and spread the word. We're starting a bike, motorcycle, scooter, moped revolution.
about 2 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
IHJ has the HQ picture of the Vanity Fair cover up now.
Vanity Fair cover
Two Wheel Tuesday is a great idea started by Austin. For one day, by one or more persons, what a difference it can make!
Hey, if you want to click on my avatar, it'll take you to my blogger blog and you can see where I uploaded a few pictures from our big STORM!!!! It's crazy out there - snow piling up and blowing everywhere to the point where it's hard to see sometimes.
There's also a new post with pictures of the beautiful tulips that Jason planted around the big oak tree in my mom's front yard in memoriam to my Dad. They are beautiful!!! and a touch of spring on this awful winter day. lol. It is awful.
G'head, g'head, take a looksee!! I welcome you!!
Okay, you know what you have to do? Click on the avatar, then scroll all the way to the bottom where it says "My Blogs" and click on Prairie Girl. That'll take you there.
I wish I was in California right now.
**SIGH**.
Eating a cheeseburger & fries.
**SIGH**.
:D
Here I am in Boston, after a week in Florida. Up to my teats in snow. Why did I ever leave Arizona?
Why am I anon?
Hey EV good to see you --- what a reminder that you are not in Arizona anymore. How many more storms before there is no more space for snow? :)
They're payloading the snow and dumping it into the bay, at least here in Winthrop. Crazy!
Wow. PG...see that MCI is CLOSED! Is it that bad in Kansas?
Hi EV!!! I didn't know that MCI was closed. Wow, I can believe it, though. It is crazy here! It's been snowing all day and blowing like crazy.
I just got off the phone with my little nephew and he said that "Grandma" said we've gotten around 8-9 inches. Sure looks like more than that!
They've even closed the malls around here and said for no one to go outside if you don't have to.
They don't have to tell me twice.
Well, I DVR'd OTH; just saw the last 3 min. or so, just in time to wish that it had been Alex that Julian had married.
Julian should have married Alex.
Checking out Sophia's Twitter tonight, it looks like she's making constant acceptance speeches over there. I'm waiting for her to thank her family.
Great shots PG. I love the one of the Log Cabin. I have always wanted to live in one but I think I will settle for a condo in sunny warm Florida. By the way FloridaTom will be making many appearances over the next two months. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh>
Wow, I guess I-70 is closed between Independence MO and St. Louis. That's unbelievable. I-70 is the main interstate across Missouri.
That means there are thousands of semi's not moving. This storm is unbelievable but it does sound like it's moving out of our area.
If I don't end up moving to warmer weather, I will at least become a snowbird.
holy smokes - stay tuned for my first flight - check this video... http://fb.me/P04KqecS
43 minutes ago via Facebook
Wow, that's wild. What are those things running on, anyway?
LOL, the family calls from Wichita to check on us. My cousin texts my sister from TX. Wicked texts me from her home to see how we're faring. Another friend calls from the next town. Burning up the phone lines! Everyone is afraid we might be buried in snow.
The big STORM is making national news. I guess Chicago is getting it right now - at a rate of 2 inches of snow per hour. Is that not awful or what? Columbia MO got 18 inches. That's horrendous!
Tomorrow, snow ice cream must be on the menu again! It was quite excellent today. Little bit of milk and sugar, added some banana and Voila!!
Tom - better brace yourself, buddy!! If this thing is headed east, it is packing a huge wallop!
Hi EV, so good to hear from you.
I thought OTH was pretty blah tonight, the dress was nothing special, didn't like how Austin's hair was styled, and it just seemed kind of anti-climatic. I guess I'm a bad fangurl.
No snow yet here, I thought it was supposed to start today, hoping it will miss us. Heard on the news it is supposed to be really bad out your way PG.
I DVR'd it, Destiny, but didn't watch it yet. Just can't get excited but I do want to see Austin. Looking at these screencaps, though, what is going on with his hair?
Is it a shoutout to Jake? It's the PoP look!!! LOLLLLL!!
It's a sympathy do. The Brylcream, Vaseline, Dippity-Do Ken-Doll Do.
What in the heck?
Who is in charge of these men's hair?!! They should be canned.
That little boy Jamie sure is cute. Too bad the bride ruins the whole thing.
LOL
Sounds like a great memorial service for the legendary Jack LaLanne with Arnold Schwarzenegger giving quite a speech. Denise Austin, Richard Simmons & Lou Ferrigno were also there, all fitness teachers with tremendous audiences, well at least Denise & Richard do.
The article on CNN says Jack L. was buried with a weight in his left hand which he had when he died. He died with a weight in his hand! That is something.
Arnold had some really funny lines in his eulogy. This one was my favorite.
"Jack is now in heaven and, of course, that's going to be very annoying for a lot of people up there," Schwarzenegger said. "It's not going to be pretty because we know what's going to happen."
Residents of heaven have a new wake-up call at 6 a.m. and they are doing "thousand of push ups and stretching exercises," Schwarzenegger said.
"The people are in a state of shock because they were promised if they were good, they could rest in peace," he said. "There will be no resting."
By Alan Duke, cnn.com
LOL, I can just hear Arnold S. saying 'There will be no resting'. LOLLL
I missed it all last night due to a power failure. And the weather here was not bad. Whats up with that. And now keys on the keyboard are falling out. Time for a new keypad.
Did Jake Gyllenhaal Try to Court Winter's Bone Jennifer Lawrence?
Jake Gyllenhaal, you sly devil, you!
After the star briefly romancing Taylor Swift and hitting on Mila Kunis over the weekend of the Golden Globes, we've learned of another talented babe who we're told caught Jakey's eye.
Jennifer Lawrence! (And for the by-the-second dating record, this was before Jennifer started to really hang more with hunky Nicholas Hoult.)
Surely, this Jake-on-the-make dish isn't true?
"Absolutely not," says a friend to Jake.
But not so quick. A friend to Jennifer is saying it "totally" is true.
Hmmm, official reps to the celebs had no comment, but let's discuss:
First, gotta say the Winter's Bone star and Oscar nominee shot to fame this year, and that's not the only reason she's a rising Hollywood talent. Have you seen this girl? Babe is a knockout!
We got word that after meeting Jennifer a while back, Gyllenhaal was totally smitten with the beaut and "went after her," according to sources who claim they know first-hand.
Lawrence and Gyllenhaal (Mila Kunis, too) are both featured on the cover of Vanity Fair's Hollywood issue, and we must ‘fess the two would make a hot couple. Still, we're told Lawrence "wasn't into it" and nothing happened. Fool.
But to be kind, maybe that decision was because of thoughts about her X-Men costar Hoult? He accompanied Jennifer to the SAG Awards and the two were super cozy at Weinsten's afterparty at Sunset Tower.
Just Jared reports the two are dating, so that would totally make sense why Jennifer may have turned down Jake a few weeks ago.
Oh the life of a daring bachelor. Regardless, we are so much more onboard with this Jakey than the coffee-date one. Aren't you?
Don't know why they can't get Austin's hair right on OTH, it looks pretty good in RL, so we know it's not him.
In contrast, they're sure doing something right on White Collar, because Bomer's hair is looking better than ever--I think it is slightly longer. And man, this season they seem to be finding reasons to have him take his shirt off and be seen in just an undershirt--oh my, last night, all sweaty in that undershirt in a good way. Love his arms, good muscles, but not bulked up.
That's cool about Jack L. being buried with a weight, and the eulogy is funny.
We got lucky, it's raining instead of snowing.
So how many inches did you end up getting PG?
I suppose flirting that goes nowhere is a big improvement on coffee runs with a beard, but still, would like to see Jake just be himself and stop with the games.
We got 13 1/2 inches, Destiny. The bad thing today is the bitter cold.
Are they good about plowing, or are you "stuck", especially with the bitter cold freezing everything.
I doubt Ted is making up stuff, he's just reporting what others tell him, WHICH IS HIS JOB AS A GOSSIP COLUMNIST. Ted doesn't out people, and I'm guessing Ted is doing this because he'd rather see Jake do something like this than act like a fool with beards.
I'm also guessing Ted wants to give some pr for Jake, who is clearly hurting for work.
The city isn't too bad about the plowing and our complex has a great hired company doing the plowing. Their own employees snow blow the sidewalks and while they haven't made their way over here yet, I'm certain they will. They always do a great job. I stepped out not too long ago onto the patio to ask a neighbor if she wanted to use our shovel and it was bitter cold. It's 8 degrees out there right now. That is awful.
That's the kind of cold where your hands just hurt.
Anybody who believes Jake is horndogging it after this record number of ladies at two events, I'm sorry but it's laughable.
And Jake is a flirt anyway. He's an extrovert. He's always been a social butterfly. Why is him visiting with all of these people at the GG's, the parties and the VF photo shoot such a surprise? It's not.
That's Jake. It's what he does. He's friendly, he's flirty, he's engaging. We see it time after time again in his interviews.
It doesn't mean he's after humping action with everyone he talks to. Which is what Ted seems to be insinuating and that's just garbo and Ted knows it.
Again, Ted has said that he plays along at times.
I also don't think it's about work. Jake has not been working since he was in Montreal for Source Code. How long ago was that?
If no one is knocking on his door for films, then I bet he could do theatre if he wanted. If he can't get a job in the movies anymore, and he's all about the fame, tabloid covers and $$, then wouldn't you think he'd be out there pounding the pavement? He could do theatre just like James Franco.
But he's not. Why?
You have to ask yourself why isn't Jake working. This is not like Jake. Jake has done a 180 in terms of his lifestyle, his looks, the way he dresses, his demeanor, his choice of films in a matter of 3 years.
You have got to ask yourself why. It's staring all of us in the face all of these drastic changes in Jake but no one wants to see it.
Don't think Jake is hurting for work. Over the past three years there has been a pattern of either Jake or Austin working at a time. They have only overlapped by weeks, when schedules went long or in the case of the fall of 2009, they were working less than 90 mins from each other by plane.
So why is Jake not working? Austin's contract was extended for a full season and it looks like the patterns from before, he will wait until Austin wraps.
There aren't even Lamil pictures right now. Where is Jake at the gym? Pilates? Dinner out? Lakers game?
Probably because he has 3 kids now: a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 5-6 month old. Austin is working right now.
If Jake were out working while Austin was working, everyone would be on his case because who would be watching the children?
Well Austin is working right now so Jake is staying home as much as he can with 3 little ones. He's doing exactly what people should be happy about.
This is why we're not seeing him.
Well, just got the official word - it's back to work tomorrow!
BOOOOOOOOO !!!!!
And Jake had a string where he was working non-stop. He did Brothers, then Nailed, then Prince of Persia, Love and Other Drugs and then Source Code. With promo work for 4 of those which took him in & out of the country. The guy deserved a break which is what he did over the summer. He worked his butt off for those movies and knocked himself out promoting POP, Brothers and LAOD.
Some people are calling him lazy but Jake works very hard on promoting his movies, albeit some of them with a lot of unnecessary embellishment, but no one can say he doesn't work hard.
And the Calvary has arrived!! Here comes the snowblower!! YESSSSS!!!
Sorry, Aust, I know those things use gasoline but man, we need it. We need it, buddy.
Backs and spines everywhere appreciate and bow down to that gasoline.
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