Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Not a Square to Spare

Living with someone there comes that moment combining each person's creature comforts, those thing that make wherever you land, home. And you don't really know who someone is until they move their stuff in with yours. Like an old beat up chair they love to sit in, or some crazy lamp that wouldn't go in anybody's house, a fire hydrant they picked off the curb. Or your entire collection of Elvis plates.


Well Julian must be the invisible man because is there anything thing in the house that is his besides his clothes and his movie poster of The Thin Red Line? And where is that poster now? Tucked away somewhere it doesn't clash with the decor? Or is it in Sam's old room? Don't think it stayed in the hallway.

Look around the house, there is absolutely nothing of Julian's. Not even on his side of the bed.

Come on the guy sleeps in a room that is moss green and is that lavender with a dash of a pink? Can he just have a little spot of Julian somewhere?


Not a man cave, or a even a recliner, but just something in the house that says "Julian lives here", even "Sensitive Julian lives here". There is no sense of permanency, it's like BrookeDavis(TM) lives here and one wrong step buddy and you can be replaced.

And what does it say about a relationship when there is no room for the other person in your home together? What does that say about room in your heart and in your life?


Tonight on the Crazy Tree: “The Space In Between” (Are they talking about the distance Julian must walk behind BrookeDavis(TM)?)

Someone sees dead people and it's not Haley Joel Osment. Someone sees babies, Ohhh...It's Just - Ju-lian! And BrookeDavis(TM)channels her "Up in the Air" termination by video face and fires her Mama's ass, face to face. Oh and there's Adventures in Babysitting. (Minus Vincent D'Onofrio in his blond weave, carrying a hammer, and looking like a Norse God/Superhero.) But someone might be singing the blues about this episode.


"Hey maybe I can teach you some sweet dance moves.
This one's called "Bang Bang She Shot Me Down"


But back to the pile of nuts stored in the Crazy Tree.

"I wish I could have the baby for Brooke."
"Hey listen I just kinda figured this out. Don't mess me up again."

Bikini Quinn wakes up while for Feats of Clay the situation worsens; and Nathan decides to give more than 10% to his agent. BrookeDavis(TM) and her supportive JBra take Jamie for the day. What else are they going to do with them? Neither has a job and the writer's can't write about a wedding for 13 weeks (oh make that 19 now). (ie. Don't expect a lot of Brulian this week) No doubt the writers had a mental distress clause put into their contracts after season 6's "very special the dog ate my heart" episode. BigMamaDramaDavis and Millicent hatch a plan, which, if it was an egg, there would be a job for Julian. He could nest and wait for it to hatch. "I'm giving BrookeDavis(TM) what she deserves, even if I have to lay an egg."

19 comments:

destiny said...

Enamored? Really? How do they know, did they take a survey?

I've seen my share of celebs in person, and I'd never use that word to describe how I felt. Styar-struck is more like it.

Interesting that they don't say anything about Jake's feelings about the women.

:) :) said...

LOL - Very funny post.

Stubborn TB said...

Interesting that they don't say anything about Jake's feelings about the women.

Exactly, Destiny.
I don't think that whole blurb was supposed to show how Jake is totally into the girls.

If anything it was to show that he still exists just before he's going to do that event and that he's still looking hot.

And I don't think they were trying to imply that he and Amber Tamblyn were hooking up, just that she was there too. If I remember correctly she and Jake are friends or at the very least know each other since there were pics of them chatting when they were bumped into each other on the street a few years ago.

I also don't find it too suspicious that it was a group of women instead of a group of men, since it's usually the girls that are approaching the celebrities to chat or take pictures.


What happened to the craptastic poster of "Seven Dreams Till Tuesday" (was that it?) that Brooke hung on the wall after she made Julian take off the "Thin Red Line" poster cause it ruins her living room?
Is that still there or did she make him take it down to prove his supportiveness to her?

Special K said...

Gyllenhaal also sampled dishes from star chefs like David Chang and Robert Newton.

So jealous. David Chang is one of the hot chefs of the moment. Robert Newton is all about reinventing Southern stylecooking.

keeping Jake relevant said...

I don't think that whole blurb was supposed to show how Jake is totally into the girls.

If anything it was to show that he still exists just before he's going to do that event and that he's still looking hot.


Granted that a group of women is far less intimate than a write up that has Jake secluded in the corner talking to one female all night. But, I do think the blurb was trying to give the impression that Jake was into the "attention." Probably hoping people will not pay much attention and just see Jake's name associated with the opposite sex.

news to me said...

I must have been away. I didn't realize that Austin was following Stephen Gyllenhaal on twitter.

destiny said...

Stubborn, the woman you're talking about in the pictures of Jake on the street is Lauren Ambrose, she was in a play with Mark Ruffalo, which is probably why Jake was at the play.

the real m said...

"Jake debuts a new Beard" and "Dear Ted: Two questions for ya today, Ted! I recently saw that Adam Levine commented on hoe (sorry I meant how) our beloved Jakey G and his gay rumors are false blah blah blah. What's your opinion? And I know I've asked you this a lot but is Jonathan Rhys Meyers Toothy Tile or Grey Goose? Hope to hear from you soon!
–Samm

Dear Levine-Curious:
There's no doubt Levine and Jakey are BFFs, but how does the hunky Maroon 5-er thinks he's helping Jake's case by screaming about his pal's sex life, regardless the reason? I really have no friggin' clue here. This was clearly a bro brain fart. And Jonathan is neither Toothy nor Grey. Not sexy enough!"

I suppose Ted will be mentioning Jake and Toothy everyday for a bit until the Adam episode passes. What is critical here is what is not said. Perfect opportunity to say Jake is not Toothy, but instead Ted says Jonathon is not. So Jake remains Toothy.

prairiegirl said...

Okay, cool!

I had a Henry Cavill moment!

LOLLLL! How hilarious. Hey, at least I can be good streetcorner entertainment sometimes.

LOLLLLL. Just a tune-up before I head to the ol' dentist-a.

Stubborn TB said...

Stubborn, the woman you're talking about in the pictures of Jake on the street is Lauren Ambrose, she was in a play with Mark Ruffalo, which is probably why Jake was at the play.

No, it was even earlier than that.
I just checked IHJ and it was in September 2005. It looks like he and Amber ran into each other and stopped to chat for a few minutes.

did you ever notice said...

that whenever Ted talks about BT he only mentions Toothy, like Toothy is the only involved parent. He specifically said TT would never allow BT to be papped. Didn't say TT and GG would never allow it.

destiny said...

No, it was even earlier than that.
I just checked IHJ and it was in September 2005. It looks like he and Amber ran into each other and stopped to chat for a few minutes.


Sorry, didn't know about this earlier incident.

destiny said...

Even more from Ted, a post on Sophia and PETA, amostly talking about how she'd never pose nude for PETA, unlike some other stars.

Ted then closes with this:

Still, we think Sophia is the perfect candidate to strip down next! But does Austin Nichols? More on those two love birds tomorrow, for sure!



Sophia Bush would sooner die than pose naked

prairiegirl said...

Cute picture of Austin and the little boy standing at the nursery window.

Can't wait to see what Ted has to say tomorrow.

Warped said...

That meat dress is the most ghastly thing I have ever seen. Some poor animal had to be slaughtered so that she could prance around in that getup. What was the point again? Surely there must be a better way to make it. :(

I don't think PETA goes too far; I think that they don't shy away from trying to show the abject cruelty and maltreatment animals are made to endure in factory farms, fur farms, dog fighting, neglect, etc., and of course it's not a pretty picture and upsets people's little worlds when they are confronted with the reality of it. PETA has done a lot of quiet, behind-the-scenes work, working against animal testing, especially for items that are non-essential, and in most cosmetic companies, animals are no longer being used to test things like makeup and shampoo. I'd rather go without those things than know an animal was killed/tortured so that I could wear mascara. :(

I don't think everyone needs to convert to vegetarianism, and it's impossible anyway. I do think animals used for food should be treated humanely as possible in the process, not as unfeeling commodities.

I also see nothing wrong with posing nude tastefully as the models do for PETA. I can never understand why treating other living creatures in an ethical manner is such a radical concept to people. :(

the real m said...

I notice Ted used this opportunity to put Austins name just above Jakes. Keep those boys linked. And something about Austin and Sophia tomorrow. I think Adam may have opened Pandora's box.

I have a couple of unwatched OTHs so am out of the loop with the story, not that it matters. I'll get to them eventually.

prairiegirl said...

Nice way of putting it, m. Adam may have done just that and maybe Ted's first comment wasn't so easy on Latrine after all.

Interesting how Ted has this picture of Jake in his column much like a billboard. BTW, Did anyone hear my cry? "MOMMYYYYYYYY!!!!" I'm not kidding, I was petrified right out of my shoes.

Interesting that Ted had that picture to go along with the sighting/story, but People.com chose to never use it. Instead, they chose an older picture of Jake, a cleanshaven one. Maybe their printer press was running close on the toner cartridge and they were afraid they'd run out of ink before the entire picture printed trying to scan that entire bristle pad.

You guys think I'm kidding with that combine? Check that thing out. Now that thing just might be able to do the job. That big boy right there is called a New Holland combine. Get over here, Jake, have a seat. Let's try this big boy out.

M&M, would you bring that leaf blower over here? Destiny - I don't think the usual beautician's bib is going to cover this kind of hirsute mass. I've got an infield tarp back in the storage closet - that might work.

I dunno....might have to postpone this harvest until I can get some PPE to protect us all. Safety goggles might be in order.

ted said...

Dear Ted:
I met Kirsten Dunst today. She seemed very sweet, unassuming, and overall, was someone I think I'd like to know! Of course, I only got a few minutes with her. I've heard plenty of rumors, but I don't know what to believe! What's your take? Sweet gal just trying to live her life, trainwreck, or should we be expecting a comeback?
—SQ

Dear Vintaged Vice:
The fact that Ki-Ki is strutting her stuff on carpets and not at clubs makes me think this babe could have a big comeback. Sure, she's had her dark Hollywood moments, but hell, who hasn't? Let's hope Jake Gyllenhaal's ex-GF stays on her current path.

Bitch Back

Special K said...

Jake's beard has gone Biblical. He's not ready to bring down the tablets yet, but he could be
Aaron. Or maybe Austin's going to be Esau to his Jacob.

You wonder it if has it's own name. It makes me think of David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day, where his guitar teacher told him to name his guitar. After being told he can't name a guitar after a guy, he called it Joan, the only girl he can think of, who is his cousin.

"Hi I'm Jake and this is Joan" as strokes his beard to introduce it. (Ohhhh that's sounds sooo bad)