Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Deadwood? Not dead yet .

Contrary to tweets overnight Jake is not dead.




He has risen.
[Insert your own Viagra joke here]

Speaking of the dead rising, Viagra and comedy, had this thought: Will Jake host SNL as a part of the run up to LaOD?



How can you top this? Not sure.


After 3 years there's plenty of material for more than enough skits to fill the 90 minutes.

Opening ? Got go musical cause "the kid can sing"

Maybe a toss up between his own version of The Real Slim Shady ( The Real Yillenhoolahay) or go for it (completely with a lace front Beyonce would be proud to plop on her head) and channel Destiny Child's Say My Name, with people from the audience trying to say Gyllenhaal, ( Hill n haul, Goober balls, Pennsaucken Mall, Santa yelling Jingle Balls?)

Then a reprise of Laser Cats?

How about a play on the Body by Jake fitness commercials. You want abs like this, but don't want to do the crunches, the cardio, do you love your carbs. Now you can.
Now all have to do is PoP on the Body by Jake fitness belt with air brushed abs. "It holds you in tight so you don't have to do the work. Now in 4X."

And of course there has to be Prince Dastan and his dagger skit.
What do you with a limp dagger. Get Sword is a Stone, just rub it in and instantly it's hard steel that puts your enemies to shame and the ladies love it too.

And if you going to promote a movie about Viagra on SNL, they're going to go for the awkward stiff moments.
Me take Viagra? Never. How dare you say that.
But I did drink an exciting Titos Vodka, Cran-Pom and Sprite cocktail.


Who wouldn't want to see Jake working with MacGruber?

Maybe Jake could break out those modern dance moves and become Son of Dieter and do This is Not Sprockets Sprockets show.
Yes You! You want to Touch my Monkey.

How can you not have a Gyllenhaal Large and Tall men's store skit. Meeting all your Large and Tall guy needs in the Tri-State Area.
"Got a Longhorn or a Big Bull? Need help you Long Armed Fellow? Come on down to Gyllenhaal's Large and Tall, we're the perfect fit. If it doesn't fit I'll Make It" With Jake yelling WE LOVE MEN! as the tag.

What are your ideas for Jake on SNL?


Don't forget it's Wheelbarrow Wednesday.

56 comments:

SNL sucks said...

With Amy gone, Mya gone, Tina gone - he'd be a fool to return to SNL. They need to put that show out of its misery once and for all. Besides, can't top what he already did.

Atticus said...

Wheelbarrow? No it's Hump Day. It's always Hump Day every day.

destiny said...

Agree that SNL has gone downhill, but I still watch if there is a host or musical guest I want to see. I also love Kristen Wiig.

Jimmies On Top said...

^^I still watch occasionally too - when SNL has a gem, it's a real gem. And they still have Andy Samberg, who I adore with his musical humor. Iran So Far and D*ck In A Box.

OT Question: Can the music maestros at OMG provide any information about yesterdays song "Ice Cream Man" by Tom Waits, like what album it's from/version, etc? I can't find it anywhere and I've gone a little mad for it. Thanks in advance! ;)

icm said...

It's on the album Closing Time. Song and album are on iTunes. I can't hear the song so I don't know if it's the exact same version.

break up said...

re: Jana's
"See Jonathon, this is why you reveal the kink in the bedroom before you get married. Next time bring out the toys and boys before the I do's. Not that you are gay....just saying."
gossipboy

Special K said...

Jimmies on Top

The version Ice Cream Man was an old live performance Waits did for a radio station back in '75. A friend had given me a bunch of his stuff on a disc and remembered I had the song.

Special K said...

Went over to Ted's to look at the poll he was taking about the BV's and it's not that surprising at least for us here at OMG.

Awful’s Vice Squad Poll
Which vice category would turn you off to a celebrity?

* 26.6% Druggies
* 0.5% Alcoholics
* 5.5% Closet cases
* 18.3% Sexual deviants
* 29.8% Diva ‘tude
* 19.3% Vice shmice...Love ‘em just the same


HW should realize that people don't think actors coming out is a deal breaker for their fanship. It's not. And not by a long shot.

Jimmies on Top said...

^^Thanks Spesh and ICM -

I love this version of ICM, TW's voice is richer and the piano sounded different. I think it's Live in Denver, or at least it sounded close enough, it's the chords or something - hypnotic! Thanks again,

I voted Vice Shmice - I love 'em just the same :)

Special K said...

Just saw it on ET. Tomorrow night they will be showing a preview for Love and Other Drugs, the tiny tease they used tonight. All I can say it Hell Yes!


And irony of all ironies, what other movie are they showing the previews for tomorrow night too? Reese's How Do you Know that she shot in DC last year.

Love and Drugs said...

Hooray! Can't wait to see. :)

prairiegirl said...

Hey Destiny, wouldn't it be funny if Sophin was to be the ones to present Bomer his award at the 2010 Breakthrough Awards if he won?

JJ says they have the "exclusive" announcement of Austin & Sophia being on the show, presenting together.

Love how he promotes Sophia's crowdrise and not Austin's. Yeah, whose hand is he holding his palm out to. Guess.

twitter said...

#Showing @RobbPadgett 's Dad and Niece around the Lot, get to see Jake Gyllenhall and Jason Siegel. Nice celebrity sighting intro to LA! about 3 hours ago via UberTwitter
chezsarcatic

no Bomer said...

JustJared.com can also exclusively reveal that Sophia and Austin will be presenting the Breakthrough in Green Innovation award to Global Green at the 2010 Breakthrough of the Year Awards presented by Crest 3D White.

Read more: http://justjared.buzznet.com/#ixzz0wLZpIInj

green teath said...

LoL @ global green and Crest 3D white

Special K said...
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Special K said...

Just Jared's site is the most annoying thing ever. How many ads, backgrounds and bars can he cram onto it? It's take forever to load everything.

Special K said...

I love the irony of Austin doing a Crest event when he's the husband of Toothy Tile.

Special K said...

Love how he promotes Sophia's crowdrise and not Austin's. Yeah, whose hand is he holding his palm out to. Guess.

I saw that PG. Is even Austin even running the half marathon? Or just waiting at the finish with Jared to cheer Sophia.

Man I would be annoyed if I were Austin, and getting shut out yet again.

Sigh said...

I wish they wouldn't promote the wearing of real fur - I don't know if Sophia's cute sweater has faux fur trim, but the one they are advertising as "the look" (which is a slightly different sweater from Nordstrom's) has real fox fur trim. Sophia's is cuter (providing that it is faux fur on the collar!) The jacket Austin in wearing is nice.

squeeze tube said...

I love the irony of Austin doing a Crest event when he's the husband of Toothy Tile.

OMG you're right. LOL

candid pic said...

Jake BT spotted in garden in Asheville NC.

destiny said...

love the irony of Austin doing a Crest event when he's the husband of Toothy Tile.

LOL!

My first reaction to Sophin and Bomer was HELL NO! But then I started thinking, boy, would that be some fun and perhaps twisted goings on. So now I'm almost sorry they're giving the award out for the green innovation award.

destiny said...

Cute BT!

JJ drives me crazy too; I have given up on looking at it at work because it is always freezes up because of all those stupid ads. It gets any worse and I may just have to stop looking at it. Complained about it too, for all the good it has done.

Cute said...

Awwww cute BT. :)

prairiegirl said...

Glad I'm not the only one. It is definitely one of the most annoying sites. I really concentrate on not looking at those ads. It's impossible not to notice the ones on top but I could not tell you on any day what they are because I block them out. And yeah, it takes forever for the pages to load.

It is ridiculously odd how JJ doesn't even mention Austin doing the half marathon too or that he's doing crowdrise. Because after all, are those 2 not doing everything as the Bobbsi Twins? They come as a package deal, right? They're even presenting the award together? They've done the Gulf together, the Green Event together, charity balls together, weddings together, twitter accounts together, concerts together, travelling together, eating out together, beaches together, bars together, and work together. They're joined at the hip sounds like to me.

But when it comes to Just Jared? Suddenly Sophia is all JJ sees.

Well, Austin must not mind. He's just happy to fill in and provide the male arm. Be the male prop to showcase the star.

He'll be identifiable at the 1/2 marathon race as the one who's holding Soapy's chilled bottle of water and towel at the finish line for her. Give her a muscle rub - because you know, he's got her muscle rub right here.

And then, they can take their photo finish picture and one can snuggle into the sweaty armpit of the other for the pic.

lol.

Methodical Muser said...

Okay, I've just caught up on the latest Sophin stunt to help promote...well you can fill in the blank because I'm still ROTFLMAO as I try to type. Someone calling herself Anna over at Just Jared has just scolded everyone who has the audacity not to believe in the altruistic purity of Marathon Woman. This entry is classic:

Well according to the organization that set up the rules and guidelines for the contest, the season 7 DVD set that is being auctioned is worth almost $1,000 because the ENTIRE cast signed the DVD set. I know plenty of people who will be more than happy to donate so they can get everyone’s autographs and I know many people have done so already.

$1,000 folks! Now, that's priceless.

prairiegirl said...

Tragedy tonight.

My niece fell on top of her brother's Halo MegaBlock all-terrain toy and it fell apart.

Boy, am I glad both parents were home by then. We had tears all over the place. My niece felt so bad because she forgot where it was on the floor and my nephew was devastated because well, it was destroyed after it took probably a couple of hrs this afternoon to put together. You felt just as bad for her because she just felt so awful.

Lots of Kleenexes later, the Legos were all put back together and we were all enjoying the ol' Aldi sherbert/ice cream bars around the dining room table.

It was traumatic. My brother had been gone all day going to teaching orientation and then went to go work extra hrs with his other job, didn't get home until before 8. But everything stopped to put all these Legos back together.

Made a huge difference. How do parents do this?

bush economy said...

7 DVD set that is being auctioned is worth almost $1,000 because the ENTIRE cast signed the DVD set.

Retail cost of DVD 59.99
Sophia's autograph 940.00
Rest of the cast's autograph .01

prairiegirl said...

$1,000.

Could they maybe throw in a One Tree Hill canvas tote bag, too, for that amount?

You know, like Public Television?

prairiegirl said...

Bush economy.

LOLLLLL. That's excellent!!

Methodical Muser said...

LOLLLLLL, bush economy! (One more than PG)!

Oh boy, Austin tweeted that the whole world can compete for this one of a kind opportunity. Thanks for proving it's a mad, mad, world. I was going to suggest that Jake give it try, but those damn stringent eligibility rules just eliminated our ecofriendly warrior from competition:

ELIGIBILITY: Sweepstakes open to individuals, age 18 or older as of August 11, 2010 at 8am eastern time, except employees (and their immediate families and members of the same household) of Sponsor and its affiliates, agents, judges and advertising and promotion agencies.

Methodical Muser said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Methodical Muser said...

Could they maybe throw in a One Tree Hill canvas tote bag, too, for that amount?

Nah. I heard they were going to include an autograph copy of Johnathon Schaech's & Jana Kramer's, "How to Stay Married Longer Than One Month." The consolation prize will be "OTH for Dummies."

put it to use said...

PrairieGirl now that you have Firefox/Mozilla go to their site and get the Adblock Plus, Web of Trust and Better Privacy addons. There's a lot of addons (all free) that will make browsing so much easier. (no, I don't work for Mozilla lol)

speed marriage said...

Johnathon Schaech's & Jana Kramer's, "How to Stay Married Longer Than One Month."

Is that the book dedicated to Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush?

Methodical Muser said...

*grin* ^ Hey, don't make fun. I hear they're all going to sign a copy and auction it off to help pay for their legal and bearding fees.

Methodical Muser said...

Just saw it on ET. Tomorrow night they will be showing a preview for Love and Other Drugs, the tiny tease they used tonight. All I can say is, Hell Yes!

Wooohooo! I just saw the teaser of LaOD on ET. Jake's and Anne's characters said it all, "Oh, my god." Me likey.

the real m said...

$1000 for season 7? Whoever made that statement is one delusional fan. Just shows you the demographic devoted to that show. Yeah, I know I watched it too but only because of Austin, and even that reason is not good enough for the season to come.

Jared sold out some time ago and that site is basically owned by PR agencies. I do still visit there but blast through and only stop to read the posts if there is something about Jake or Austin.

Not sure what the twitter Jake death rumor was all about, but I am glad I missed the whole thing. Can't even bear the thought of that rumor, especially after losing Heath. I still can't believe that he is gone.

PG, thanks for getting a new chapter up. I cant wait to read it.

the real m said...

Great news about LAOD. It's about time they started promo, plus it gives us a chance to see for ourselves if the film looks good. Hopefully Jake will have to shave that mangy beard for the marketing campaign.

On anther topic, a couple of sites had a video done by James Franco's brother Dave that I watched this AM before leaving for a Drs appt. They have a wonderful relationship and killer identical smiles. I could not get over how much they smiled at each other. Very heartwarming.

Methodical Muser said...

8/12/07 By the way...Happy Third Anniversary to OMG! What an amaaaaazing milestone. A post every day for three years.

Thank you to (((Spesh))) for your overall sense of fun, unwavering passion, and critical eye to detail. And, most of all for still daring to believe in a love story that continues to defy the odds and warm the heart.

Morbidly Moist said...
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daddy said...

Single Celeb Men Who Would Make Great Dads

Jake Gyllenhaal – If I had to handpick a guy out of Hollywood who would be an amazing person to have kids with, it would definitely be Jake. While he was dating Reese Witherspoon, he was often spotted out and about with her kids and seemed to always have a great time with them. He just seems like a “natural” in the daddy department, and he will definitely be an awesome parent to his own kids someday.

dannon said...

LOL I guess they didn't see the yogurt pics.

dada said...

probably not, but they probably saw every other photo of Jake and her kids and he looked like a natural.

prairiegirl said...

Jake seems very nurturing for a guy. It started as early as Boo. Look at him with Boo.

Sorry, but if you want to look at pics of Jake with Ice Maiden's kids, you're looking at a different situation. You can scratch off that first year, year & a half.

Those kids didn't know him from Paul Bunyan. Especially when he wore those lumberjack, flannel shirts. Give the guy a big hatchet and hey!

Sorry, veering off subject.

Not a single pic of Jake at one of Deacon's soccer/softball games in 2 1/2 yrs. Reese didn't seem to have any trouble getting Dark Socks, Bermuda Shorts Jim to one within a couple months.

And who can forget how Jake was swinging those flowers around like a badminton racquet when he did that photo op at Ava's program in December when he had barely been on U.S. soil long enough to wipe his shoes on the doormat. Yeah, he looked absolutely thrilled to be there.

No doubt Jake would never have hurt those kids and eventually probably got to know them pretty well. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids found in him a loving refuge.

But they were not a family. It was fake. Jake has his own family. He had a brand new family hatching from the start of Reeke, that's what Reeke was about - to distract from the entire surrogacy process and births.

prairiegirl said...

It will be curious to see if Jake wears even one big flannel shirt this winter. I wonder what kind of odds that would get in Vegas? 50 to 1? Do I hear 75 to 1?

Or do you reckon that little wardrobe of lumberjack shirts went to Goodwill? Or into the Bearding Supply Closet along with a couple of gingham checked lined, wicker baskets for the trips to the farmers market?


Can you just see when their people must have been negotiating the bearding contract?

"Okay, Reese must have 3 shopping photo ops per week"

"We'll give you two. Jake needs at least one farmers market per week."

"We'll give you a farmers market every two weeks."

"No go. Every week."

"Every week. Gingham lined baskets."

"Gingham lined baskets for one, farmers market every two weeks with recycled bags for the duration thereof."

"Check. Next?"

"For the duration with family heirloom metal shopping cart complete with organic cotton liner."


"You're pushing it."

"Alright, alright. Okay, next - wardrobe."

prairiegirl said...

LOLLLLLL!!!!

Killed myself on that one.

prairiegirl said...
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bat, blind as a said...

The hell are you talking about woman. Jake wore flannel long before Reeke.

Lilly said...

Flannel granny nightgowns?

soft said...

The flannel shirts are probably keeping Atticus nice and warm in his doghouse.

ted said...

Dear Ted;
Admit it, Jonathan Bennett is, in fact, the one and only Toothy Tile.
—Mindy

Dear T2 Lives On:
Way more popular.

Bitch Back

destiny said...

Has it really been three years!! If so, Happy Birthday OMG.

$1,000 may not be as outrageous as you think, but what kid is going to have that kind of money? Can't quite see an adult buying it, but you never know, people may look at it as their charity donation for the year.

I forgot to go back and see what they sold for since I got my Bomer autograph, but they were selling some autographed photos of Bomer and DeKay on EBay to raise money for the family of a member of the technical crew who died this summer. With a couple of days to go they were already at $250, and those things usually go up dramatically in the final hours.

Happy Birthday! said...

Happy Birthday to OMG! :)

Seaweed said...

I'm feeling lazy today but M&M put things so heartfelt that I can't help but echo her sentiments...

By the way...Happy Third Anniversary to OMG! What an amaaaaazing milestone. A post every day for three years.

Thank you to (((Spesh))) for your overall sense of fun, unwavering passion, and critical eye to detail. And, most of all for still daring to believe in a love story that continues to defy the odds and warm the heart.


All the best Special on this Birthday for OMG, and many more to come.