Thursday, December 2, 2010

Hand Jive

FADE IN ON:

Group sitting around a table in a conference room.

Several ladies along one side, a gentleman sitting directly across from them. The women are reviewing a dossier with their client.

"Now this is the trademark shout out."


"Let's try it again."

"No, not Subway's $5 foot long."


"Close, but two hands Jake two hands."

"Ok, you got the two hands but put them together."

"Now turn your hands so your fingers are up on top and you almost have it."

"Come on. Now that's just 'This is the church, here is the steeple'."


"Seriously? You're going there?"


"Now that's just pointing."

"Wait wait you're just doing Reese now."


"And before you even think it Mister. No flipping the bird."




Happy Hanukkah!

43 comments:

fug said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Special K said...

Comments about people with disabilities are uncalled for.

Methodical Muser said...

That was hilarious,Special. I love the look on Jake's face in the, "Seriously? You're going there?" selection.

The boy definitely has that, "Hey, girl, don't you be dissing me about my expressive, sensive ways." Snap! I can almost hear that sing songy falsetto admonishment, he used on the Jonathan Ross Show back in May.

Methodical Muser said...

^"sensitive ways."

Methodical Muser said...

We know Jake can look drop dead gorgeous. Remember how he looked at the U.S. Open in that black polo? The Lakers game in the army green tight T-shirt? That show in Leadville, standing alone in the cargo pants and black tank top, bag slung over the shoulder? On TV in the brown long sleeved T?

We know he can look devastating. He knows he can. So why doesn't he look good for his "ladies"?


That's a very good question, PG. Sounds like Jake almost wants people to know that this part of his life is not real, don't you think? And, thanks for the reminders of just how unbelievably stunning Jake can look when he is properly inspired and comfortable in his own skin.

doesn't want to slip said...

Austin's twitter account was pretty quiet yesterday during the Jaylor rollout, wasn't it?

So said...

I don't know, was it? Does he tweet everyday?

destiny said...

LOL, like Reese.

Towards the end of Reeke I though the bad dressing was a statement about how unhappy he was. But he didn't have to go into Swyll. So I'm thinking he's doing it because he's been told it looks more "realistic" if he looks like he just threw something on, less like he's going to a photo opp.

Austin does not tweet every day, but if he didn't do it yesterday, it is likely his not doing so yesterday was in solidarity with the people who were going "dead" for World AIDS day.

Poor Jake said...

James Franco -- Mass Rejection at 'Actors Studio'

James Franco just made history on "Inside the Actors Studio" -- sources at the show tell TMZ tickets to see J.F. were in such high demand, the staff literally rejected a record number of people. We're told hundreds of "industry professionals" tried to score free tix to the show -- way more than the allotted amount -- and in the end, staff had to reject more than 250 people. The purchasable tickets sold out too.

As for the interview, set to air next month, we're told Franco was such an awesome guest that one source told us, "James stayed another hour-and-a-half after the taping and talked to every single student and fan who wanted to talk."

Our source noted, "No one has done that since Paul Newman ... the very first guest that ever appeared on the show."

But no one was more stoked than the girls who wouldn't stop screaming throughout the entire event -- in fact, the lady fans were so loud ... James Lipton stopped the interview, and said, "17 years filming this show and I've never heard a sound like that before."
____

First commenter: Cause they all want to get with him. Heh. Talking about the men ...

LOL! Looks like Jake has competition in both the professional and personal sphere.

Franco Fever

US Weekly said...

Kirsten Dunst Snaps when asked about Jake and Taylor

Long before Taylor Swift (and Reese Witherspoon, for that matter), Jake Gyllenhaal only had eyes for one: Kirsten Dunst.

The two famously had an on-and-off romance that finally ended in 2004.

And it's something Dunst -- now starring opposite Ryan Gosling in the gritty crime drama All Good Things -- doesn't want to revisit.

At the film's NYC premiere Wednesday, Dunst, 28, was asked whether she thinks Swift - who turns 21 Dec. 13 - is a good match for 29-year-old Gyllenhaal.

"Next!" she told a pack of reporters.

Since she dated Gyllenhaal for so long, she must have some opinion, one reporter asked Dunst.

The actress laughed.

"Next!" she cried.

destiny said...

It's kind of odd and sad to be be watching what appears to be a career imploding.

LOL to how Kiki handled the questions-- and classy at the same time.

destiny said...

LOLLLL!!

On JJ there are posts on Taylor, Kiki and Reese, one right after the other.

prairiegirl said...

LOL - love that picture about 'going there'?

Snap!!

prairiegirl said...

Well, all those people can have James Franco. That guy doesn't do much for me, I'm afraid. I know, my loss, but oh well!

Ch. 9 is up!!!!!

Austin does not tweet every day, but if he didn't do it yesterday, it is likely his not doing so yesterday was in solidarity with the people who were going "dead" for World AIDS day.

Well, could be. But I have no idea. I will say that as someone who regularly checks his twitter several times a day, it did strike me as odd that he was quiet yesterday. It has been interesting to note when he has been quiet. His twitter was also silent during the Leadville Pic Discovery Weekend. Uh huh, yes it was.

The guy usually puts something up daily, even if it's just another plug for the cd or the latest giveaway for Surfrider or a retweet.

I'm not going to give away anymore observances but he's got some tendencies. He's had hints. And he uses his twitter to let stuff out; he's very clever about how he does it, though.

But it's taken me this long (since he started this account) to finally see some of these tendencies and it was through his twitters, that I "fell in love" with a side of Austin that I had no idea existed. Despite the spouts of nasty language and some inane macho blurts, I have seen some of what no doubt Jake fell in love with back during TDAT filming.

And this is why all of this crap hurts. Watching Sophin and watching whatever this other thing is go on, knowing what these 2 guys have been through and probably shared, especially in Taluga (sp?), all of this right now is very hard and heartbreaking. I don't feel good about it at all and I don't take delight in it.

Hey, today's Menorah is really cool. I always enjoy these, Special.

prairiegirl said...

I was just reading about Black Swan with Natalie Portman on cnn.com. Now that sounds like an interesting movie. And she trained for a year to master the ballet part. That's incredible.

Ballet would have been neat to learn, I think. Such grace and balance.

Well, I'm off to write. Gotta keep the muse train moving!

Jersey Tom said...

Personally I think Taylor is going to get Jake a lot more press and front page coverage than Reese. Jake can't put people in the seats. The studios know that. I am sure he and his PR either think or know Jake can't get a job because Ms and especially Mr Common Joe can't get by that first tent scene. Its desperation but its not a bad move if you think about it. Jake lies when he says he can give it up. No he can't

I still don't think he will ever be a Clooney, Pitt, Depp, or Leo.
There are a group of young actors out there fighting to join that group. Jake would sell his soul to have his name among that first group. This is one ambitious man.

Special K said...

I was going to make the same point about Austin being a little more quiet than usual yesterday PG.

Jake and Anne are heading to Australia for the premiere there Monday night. If he hasn't left yet he probably is tomorrow.

The Taylor Train keeps rolling - hour long profile on E! this week, on Ellen again (pre-taped) doing her new song Back to December, named Entertainer of the Year by EW. And in all the PR mags not just for the hookup but in every which way they can find a way to put her in the magazine. This is a serious PR machine. And it's all about Taylor.

When Jake was younger there it was all about his career but you definitely see a change in him. That change came in 2007. Career is not everything for him anymore.

Some will say it is a result of not being as successful. What it is, is that he found something that means more, that shifted his priorities. It takes big things to make shifts like that . Like fatherhood.

LA said...

Jake's in LA. He was at Fox Searchlight's party last night. Taylor was in Nashville with Maroon 5 taping a thing for CMT.

OwlGirl said...

I remember when the news first broke of "Jaylor," Lainey was like "no way this is PR, because this does nothing for him, only her, and his people are too smart for that. This is real"

Nothing for Jake? Although many people say they hate the pairing, the fact is, it's top news everywhere as soon as they're spotted together. It helps keep him and his movie relevant throughout the holiday season, and for a younger audience, to boot.

I think Lainey is paid off. She mixes editorial with advertising, as do many gossip bloggers. She made a lot of $$ off LaOD ads.

I just wonder how long this Jaylor crap will last - how long the contract is for.

OwlGirl said...

About the US Weekly story...

Ever wonder how they pull this crap together? It's obviously a fabrication. How did Us Weekly track down original sources who watched Jake and Taylor walk down a street, or watched how they acted in a coffee shop, after the fact? Did they take out an ad?

Seriously, it's obviously made-up. More obvious than usual. And it looks like most people see it for what it is.

I wonder if this is about more than LaOD and Source Code? I wonder if this is also to head off some negative story that will be surfacing soon, a la the latest Toothy blind.

prairiegirl said...

There's nothing wrong with being ambitious. Nothing wrong with wanting a successful career.

Jake's obviously going about it the wrong way and it's not fooling anyone.




But once again, if it was all about $$$, why would he take such a paltry salary for doing Brokeback Mountain? I know that someone out there has his salary figure for doing Brokeback Mountain. Say again????? What was that huge figure????

And which movie was it that he and the other actors took a low salary for? It was either Brothers or LAOD, wasn't it? I'm thinking it was Brothers.

Now he got the big money for PoP.That movie was filmed right after the time BT was born and if there is a BT2, time for the planning and carrying out of BT2. That big money helped to pay for all of that, the nanny care and what is probably the constant private planing of the mini-brood.

Once again, the documentary Gary & Tony proved that it costs alot of $$$ to have a baby the way Jake & Austin did.

That's all I'll say about it. The present circumstances make the subject of BT literally an explosive worthy of a sniff dog's presence. And I don't want to start anything but I have a right to express those opinions, which is what they are. Opinions.

prairiegirl said...

Excellent points, OwlGirl.

Where do they get these sources? lol

One of my favorites is how they got the actual name of the one who snapped the latteland Nashville pic. That gives it the "stamp of validity".


Not.

prairiegirl said...

Go Royals!!!!

Hope springs eternal, Tom!!

AUS10 said...

That's Right. I am rockin this. Bow Ties are Fly. http://twitpic.com/3c86bl
about 11 hours ago via Twitpic

destiny said...

Taylor gets a ton of publicity compared to Reese.

But the fauxmance is getting a lot of nasty attention, and it's not just from those ten people who post on the internet. As M&M pointed out, there was her local news, and Bonnie Fuller has a piece about how phoney these two are--now that's a bit surprising to see someone like that attack a showmance.

I guess Jake and his people must subscribe to the old saw that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

So far they seem to be wrong.

Methodical Muser said...

But once again, if it was all about $$$, why would he take such a paltry salary for doing Brokeback Mountain? I know that someone out there has his salary figure for doing Brokeback Mountain. Say again????? What was that huge figure????

Jake didn't get paid much for Brokeback Mountain, PG. When Randy Quaid filed his lawsuit against Focus Features in 2006, the complaint indicated that the "actors were paid a total of $521,000 for their work on the film."

As principal performers, I'm sure that Heath and Jake were paid the most and have heard figures as high as $85,000 each. The SAG contract in 2004 for, full budget films, required a minimum salary of around $25,000 (Principle Performer Rates approx.$2,300 per week). Since Brokeback filmed from June 14 2004 - August 15 2004 (10 weeks) that would be a minimum salary of $23,000. So basically somewhere between $23,000-$85,000. It is true that Jake reportedly made approximately $3 million for Jarhead that same year, but he hardly made anything for Brokeback Mountain. Basically, his compensation was the priceless opportunity a movie like Brokeback presented in terms of his career. (And, no I'm not going to go for the obvious snarky comment.) Ironically, I think, the experience of Brokeback actually ended up changing Jake's life first and then his career path. In fact, he said three things during 2005-06 that have always stood out to me.

* "The question of identity, whether it’s sexual or whatever, is what makes this movie so powerful. My own struggle with who I am, and who I am to other people, and what masks I put on, is hopefully interlaced with this character."

*The way Ang described Jack, and the way it’s been written, is, he’s more open to his emotions – and to a relationship. Ennis is more withdrawn. Jack, to me, tries really hard to hold on to the one thing that he knows is real in his life – his love for Ennis. Somewhere in him he has enough courage to say, “Let’s try this. Let’s take this risk, but I need you to take it [with me]. I can’t do it alone.” There comes a time, I think, in every relationship, where you have to say, “Are you gonna make this sacrifice or not? And if you’re not, then I’m gonna find somebody else who is maybe more willing.”

* "What really tears me apart is, Ennis and Jack are two people who actually found love. If you have love, you should hold onto it."

I think Jake decided that holding onto love was the most important thing of all. Having a family. Actually, living a life. We may not always agree with how Jake goes about trying to balance career and family, but somehow I think he's trying the best he can to find his way home.

Brokeback actors pay

boobyann said...

Those things were said 5 years ago. Since then, he has just become a famewhore with no substance. What is he reduced to now? Bearding and Banana Boyz.

the real m said...

Whoever mentioned the hint of a coming scandal is on to something. But I think it was the recent near miss that precipitated this. Yeah, I know I am up late. We watched a movie tonight, then I dozed off, but this has been on my mind all day so I had to get it off my chest. We talked yesterday about Jake's family and the pressure they are obviously putting on him. I think Ted did Jake a disservice when he revealed the dumpster blow job attempt. When he reveals what Toothy did, he reveals it to Jake's parents and family as well. Besides being dangerous for safety reasons - sex with a stranger, in a dark alley, can you imagine what would have happened if they were caught. It would be a second offense for Jake with public sex if someone called the cops. Or any one could walk by and snap a photo for sale to the rags. His family must have been in a near panic of the thought of what could have happened. Hence the new bearding and the family's increased participation.

prairiegirl said...

Very well could be true, m. I totally agree. THANK YOU!!

I've been saying all along how stupid and dangerous this act was. It's not "hot". It's not "Toothy's penchant for risky sex". It's not "acting out".

It was stupid.

I still say it could have been a set up. Because why on earth would a guy walk away from stinkin' Jake Gyllenhaal and a quick sex act? If this was a familiar haunt then everyone knew who he was. Why even go over to Jake when he said "Hey". Why start anything if you knew you weren't going to plunge into some dark alley fun?

Why do you walk away and leave Jake Gyllenhaal hanging?



That makes no sense.

prairiegirl said...

It could have been a set up. And I don't care how familiar of a haunt it was, you do not know. You could end up being beat up and left for dead.

This doesn't just apply because of a Matthew Shepherd type crime. They just determined that a young man in Westport (a bar neighborhood in K.C.) who was found lying on a sidewalk, was murdered. Was just on the local news this morning after a coroner & police investigation it was determined to be a homicide. Someone killed him and left him near dead on a sidewalk.

Anything can happen to any of us when we're alone in the dark out in the city, no matter where. You can be right by the safety of your car and someone can come up and injure you.

The fact that Jake did this was a desperate and a sad act. It was risky. It was nuts. And it was a cry out for something.

Help? Attention? I don't know.

And I didn't even think about the public sex offense. He could have been humiliated in the tabloid and national news headlines just like George Michael.

And that is not funny - it's dead serious. That would have been a huge blow to his career.

prairiegirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prairiegirl said...

The belief by some that he is a father is a whole other ball of wax.

But anyway.


Okay, here's a definition of tired.



When you turn in at 9 o'clock.

When you wake up at 1 am in the morning and your bedside lamp is still on. I didn't read or nothin'!
I got in bed and I don't remember anything else!

LOLLLLLLL!!! I fell asleep as soon as I was in a horizontal position & head hit the pillow!


LOLLLLL!!! Man, that's tired.

prairiegirl said...

Thanks, m&m, for your input on the salary for BBM. I figured somebody would know something on it.


Paltry pay for such a landmark movie, huh?

prairiegirl said...

Interesting twitter account that Austin has befriended.

Hamish and Andy.


A comedy duo who have a radio show which airs in Australia. (thank you, Wiki!)



I love it!

Special K said...

Good catch about Hamish and Andy, PG.

Ted said...

Dear Ted:
How dare she! I am seething mad at Reese Witherspoon dissing her ex again in order to make herself and her movie relevant: Dating a non-actor is better? Well duh, a non-star only sees stars, no matter how vicious and self-involved they are, and will sacrifice his needs for his movie star girlfriend. Am I wrong in this, or did the headline make you gag as well? Hasn't she done enough to Jakey? And why is he being such a gentleman—he never uttered one bad word about Reese when she surprisingly and quite cavalierly dumped him for her agent. Even if he has more, and may I say better, movies to promote.
—Rita

Dear Spoon-Fed:
You know I love the chance to point out how downright dastardly Reese can be, and—while a bit gag-worthy—this is one of her less malicious media maneuvers. I agree with her too: She is better off dating a dude out of the limelight. It leaves all the attention for her, right? As for Jake, well, he knows there's no perks in pissing off his ex.

Dear Ted:
I totally heart Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols for their do-gooder ways. They are excellent role models for my kids. Does Austin have any kids of his own? Love ya lots.
—Suz

Dear Hero Havic:
Nope—why would you think that? But kudos again to Soph and Austin. While I may think they're ├╝ber-boring in the bedroom department, they both are way into helping gulf efforts. And, ya know, talking about it every chance they get.

Dear Ted:
You've said that Toothy Tile doesn't plan on coming out ever, even though he once wanted to. Does that mean he's gonna go all the way and have a fake marriage and kids? Did he change his mind because he hasn't had a hit in a few years (well, ever)? If he had a real and undeniable hit, would he give coming out another chance? Thanks.
—Rooting for T2

Dear T2 Peek-a-Boo:
At one point I'd have said he'd never swap fakey "I dos" but it's looking more and more like that might be exactly what his game plan is. And it's got nothing to do with hits: Tooth has had 'em.

Bitch Back

Special K said...

Couple of things about Ted's latest.

The Austin and the Toothy questions were one after another. Ted gets creative and a lot of wiggle room into these.

The person asks Ted is, does Austin has kids of his own.
Austin not Goose. No one officially knows that Austin is Goose, the official story is that Austin does not have kids.

The second question.

Ted puts wiggle room in this one that he can get out of fairly easily. "But it's looking more and more like that might be. It is not definitive statement. While at the current moment that is the impression from this latest goofy move, there is no certainty to it. And Ted knows to say it now, since the odds for that to happen now are so low, with all the animosity over current pairing, and a youngster who is only focused on her career.

Also notice the person as about his lack of hits. What is Ted answer?
And it's got nothing to do with hits: Tooth has had 'em. Now look the name he gives the letter writer - Dear Peek a Boo. Kids.
For Toothy it is not about career but kids.

Both questions are about kids and link Austin and Toothy.

playing with words said...

The question is "Does Austin have any kids of his own?"

I think Ted’s answer in this context could mean that Austin doesn’t have a kid by himself (as a single man), he has a kid with Toothy (as a couple). Ted adding “why would you think that?” in his reply and the following question being about Toothy, is Ted's playful way of saying he is Grey Goose.

Special K said...

I thought that too Playing with words after I wrote mine up.

OwlGirl said...

Rita, your questions always get answered! bravo!

The question is "Does Austin have any kids of his own?"

"of his own" could also be interpreted as biological. Jake may have been the sperm, not Austin, not mixed together in a test tube. It would make more sense for it to be Jake's sperm - don't mean this to sound crass but he comes from a family with money and connections, and the baby would be better off in our capitalistic society if it were the biological kid of a Gyllenhaal. Also, for inheritance purposes. For planning in case of a Jake / Austin breakup and custody, etc.

My lesbian friends who've had babies made deliberate decisions about who would carry the baby (and give up the egg and genes to do so) based on a whole host of issues, in one case on who came from the family with mucho money.

Just a thought.

the real m said...

I took Ted's latest as meaning that biologically Baby Tile is Jake's. At least we now know. Regardless of mixing a sperm cocktail, there is only one winner in the swimming contest and who he resembles would be apparent from the get go. Baby Tile probably lives primarily with Jake too.

destiny said...

Ted's latest makes me think thjere is not much of a real family relationship between Jake and Austin.

And just because Ted days it isn't about hits does not mean it is about kids. Getting married while hiding his child!!!!

synchos said...

Awww it's so cute how y'all just hang onto Ted's every word.